Sunday, January 23, 2005

The subject of today’s missive is toys…particularly small action figures type toys (as I’m currently packing a few away until their new home is ready)…so those of you with no interest…see ya next time…

If you’re still around…

There’s an amazing array of block-type mini figures that have been hitting the market over the last two years and I’m going to take a look at a few of them today.

The block figure craze can be traced back to Lego and Playmobil as both companies have had small figures in the market (with various types of playsets) for a long time. The Japanese took the concept of the Lego figure and started applying it to licensed properties. Called “Kubricks” (I’m unsure why), they stand about 2 ½ inches tall and have some removable parts that suggest some interchangability, but in practice the concept is kind of limited.

Medicom, the company that makes most of the Kubricks, has picked up numerous licenses over the years and have produced mini-figures from things like “Reservoir Dogs”, “The Great Escape”, “Planet of the Apes”, “The Matrix”, “Star Wars”, “TRON”, “The Muppets”, “Minority Report”, “Back to the Future”, “Alien” and various animated Disney films. They’re all cute figures with about 8 points of articulation (legs, waist, wrists, shoulders and neck). Unfortunately, they are expensive as they need to be imported. On top of that, some of the lines come in box sets (so you can get all “The Usual Suspects” in one shot) and others come individually boxed in mystery packages. You can buy a box containing one figure from “The Matrix” but you won’t know who it is until you open it. And some figures in these lines are rarer than others. In fact, some aren’t even pictured as being part of the line and are extremely hard to find (like the Keymaker from “The Matrix” series…he had a pack-in ratio of 1 in every 96). This can make the pursuit of a complete line rather expensive.

While Kubricks have some cool line ups, the coolest right now are the two more “advanced” concepts.

Art Asylum has created their Mini-Mates line with 14 points of articulation (ankles, knees, legs, waist, wrists, elbows, shoulders and head). When the line started, they were 3 inches tall and the licenses included Bruce Lee, some Rock n Roll artists (KISS, Ozzy Osbourne and Iron Maiden to name three), “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”, “Dark Angel” and “Star Trek”. While all of these figures were really cool, Art Asylum wasn’t able to get too deep into any of these lines for a variety of reasons. When they picked up the Marvel Comics license, things really took off.

Marvel Mini-Mates contain the same 14 points of articulation as the rest, but they are only 2 inches tall (licensing issues that Marvel has elsewhere prevented using the larger size). But this size has allowed Art Asylum to package two figures together with a few accessories and so far we’ve gotten nine waves of 6 figures per wave. Unfortunately, in order to entice major retailers on board, there have been a plethora of variant Spider-Mans, Wolverines, Daredevils and Things. But we’ve also gotten a good number of cool characters in the process. There have also been a number of different Iron Man figures, each with a removable helmet and an extra hair piece for displaying Tony Stark with the helmet off. My favorite so far is Battle Damaged Captain America and his swollen eye.

Unfortunately, in order to get everyone who’s been released, that has involved getting doubles of others. The nice thing is that parts are swappable and with a bit of paint and other art supplies, you can customize the extras into new people (I’ve made a few very obscure characters like Rachel van Helsing and Quincy Harker from the old “Tomb of Dracula” comic as well as a couple of DC characters like The Question and Captain Atom from extra people and parts).

What would keep this line alive right now is a bit more breadth of the Marvel Universe. There are still a good number of major characters missing. Dr. Strange, Thor and a few other big name Avengers and the original X-Men lineup are all absent right now. And there is a distinct lack of villains. We’ve got Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, Venom, Carnage, Kingpin, Bullseye, Chameleon, Dr. Doom, the Leader, Absorbing Man and Magneto and that’s all. While the “missing” heroes could easily be caught up in three waves, the villains will take much longer to get a better variety. Somewhere along the way most toy companies got faulty research that bad guys and females don’t sell. I don’t quite believe that as kids like to have villains to fight their heroes.

Art Asylum realized they had a hit on their hands and have started to branch this smaller Mini Mate into other licenses. The one that made the most sense to sit on a shelf along Marvel Comics was DC Comics. Unfortunately, in order to work around the fact that DC had been producing their own version of small figures (Pocket Heroes) Art Asylum had to come up with something else to offer the figures with. They invented a Lego-like construction set known as C3. These are really cool as they combine the small figure factor into a small playset environment. Unfortunately, the figures are the coolest things about these sets for the most part. The first wave of sets hit in late fall just in time for Christmas shopping and while the biggest and coolest is the Batcave, it’s plagued with structural problems (took me 4 hours to put together and I had to use some glue). The smaller sets that aren’t vehicles are a bit lackluster…the Chemical Warehouse and Darkseid’s Throne Room have the coolest figures (Batman & Joker and Superman & Darkseid respectively) but they’re not very interesting to look at. And like larger figure lines based on DC Comics characters, there’s an inordinate amount of Batman figures. Luckily, they’re not as horrid as some of Kenner’s day glo colored figures and at least make some sense based on the construction set they come with (I’m specifically thinking of Stealth Pilot Batman who comes with the Batwing).

Art Asylum has some neat workarounds planned to try and get more figures into the market place for DC. First up this year are their mini-flyers which give you a figure with a few blocks to create a small flying machine that’s themed to the character (we’re getting Flash, Nightwing, Riddler and Batgirl in addition to a new Batman & Superman in the first wave). And there are some larger “Batman” themed sets to revolve around the hype for the new movie in June…but the first wave didn’t do so hot at retail, so this line may not make it much further. Supposedly, Art Asylum is talking to DC about doing the figures without the construction sets in conjunction with the comic company’s toy arm since the Pocket Heroes did so badly (and yet have more variety than anything Art Asylum’s done yet…go figure).

The last major license that Art Asylum’s acquired for the Mini Mates is “Lord of the Rings” and they are using both scales of figures plus a new middle size to keep the various characters in scale. The hobbits and dwarves are in the 2 inch scale, the humans and elves are in the new 2 ½ inch scale and people like Sauron are the old 3 inch scale. So far there have been about 13 figures done with only two characters repeated (Frodo and Aragorn have variants, but they make sense).

Rumor has it that Art Asylum may re-release their “Star Trek” mini-mates in the smaller scales and as box sets in an attempt to put some life into their licensing agreement before it lapses.

Just before Christmas, Palisades Toys entered this arena with a new brand called “Palz”. These 2 ½ inch figures have the same articulation as Mini Mates, but have a crap load of accessories and some other neat features as well. The first license out the door is based on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. The first wave consisted of 6 individually sold figures (Buffy, Xander, Willow, Giles, Darla and the Master), one in case repaint (Darla) and two store exclusives (Angel via comic shops and Vampire Buffy via Wizard Magazine). Palisades plan is to base each wave on a season of the show, so all these figures resemble (in the cartoonishly cute block figure way) the looks of these characters during the show’s first season. The cool thing is that each figure comes with extra parts to transform them to a different look. Turn Darla’s head around and she’s now a vampire. You can do the same with Angel (who can be dressed in a number of different combos as well…with jacket, without jacket, shirt on, shirt off…most of the figures come with secondary outfits) and Vampire Buffy (regular Buffy just has a different expression on the flip side of her head).

A second series will arrive in April consisting of Buffy (she’ll be part of every wave), Spike, Drusilla, Oz, Cordelia and Jenny Calendar. Oz gets to be the in case repaint as well. Each figure will also come with a piece of the Judge, so you’ll get a seventh figure if you collect the whole wave. There will also be a few exclusives as well. Palisades Direct (the company’s online store) will be selling Kendra the Vampire Slayer (complete with Mr. Pointy) and a three pack of Monsters (this is the first of many Monster sets and includes Marcie Ross, Der Kindestod and the Annointed One – who is going to be scaled down to be the correct size). AFX, an online store, also has an exlcusive four pack of the main “Scoobies” (Buffy, Willow, Cordelia and Xander) to transform into Halloween costumes they wore during the show.

Before this second wave of “Buffy” appears we also get treated to a first wave of “The X-Files”. The first wave consists of 8 figures without the cool “transformation” feature, but plenty of accessories. Look for Mulder, Scully, Lone Gunman Frohike, Deep Throat, Conundrum (from the episode “Humbug”), Donnie Pfaster, a Gray Alien and the Flukeman (with a Port-O-Potty). There will be three in case variants as well…Demon Donnie Pfaster, Captured Scully (these were supposed to be a two pack exclusive, but that changed) and Man In Black Mulder (not from any specific episode, but a cool looking figure anyway). A second wave will arrive if this one’s successful (we’ve already seen workups of Agent Krycek and Marita Covarrubias).

And just announced from Palisades is another Palz line based on the “Die Hard” trilogy. The first wave looks like it will consist of two versions of everyone’s favorite cop John McClane, his estranged wife Holly Gennaro, Sergeant Al Powell, Hans Gruber and Karl. Can’t wait to see what these look like at Toy Fair in February.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

So, here we are…another year…another update on the house…

But before we start, I’d like to plug the latest show I’m working on. “Epic Proportions” opened this Friday January 21 at the DAC Weatherstone in Darien. My good friend Dan Friedman is directing a great and talented cast. I’m running the sound for the show and Tash is back stage keeping the traffic flowing with Frank Gaffney.

The show is a comedy about the making of a Biblical epic in the Arizona desert in the 1930s. Being a Biblical epic the film must have a cast of thousands and we’ve got that…except they’re played by 4 people (there are 6 other parts in the show) with more costume changes than anyone should be allowed to do in 2 hours.

Anyway…it’s a fun night out and I’d recommend it to all of you in the area. Because of the snow we’ve added two performances to make up for two cancelled ones. We have three this coming weekend (8pm Friday and Saturday, 2pm on Sunday) and a final one on Friday February 4 at 8pm. If you reserve tickets in advance and pay by credit card, you’ll save money. Call 655-5414 for tickets.

As I sit here in the house writing this, I can hear the workmen maneuvering cabinets and appliances in the kitchen. After being in Napa for two weeks and coming home to the workmen being a week behind schedule, the dust has settled (mostly…and it’s about an inch thick) and the sheet rock’s up (all over the house) and the floors are down (well…in the kitchen at least). And now it’s like watching them put together a puzzle as they assemble the kitchen. I figure by week’s end it’ll be as done as it can be with what’s currently here (cabinets & appliances). Fixtures and electrical work will probably be smoothed out next week and hopefully by then we’ll have settled the counter top & back splash issue. Meaning all that will be left within three weeks is painting the walls and staining the floors. Woo Hoo!

Of course, to get that done in three weeks, they’re neglecting the rest of the project for a bit. The Master Bedroom/Bathroom suite still needs some work (the bathroom needs a lot of work…they’ve been ignoring it in order to get the kitchen done). And the front entryway has now become part of this monster project. We’ve got some new carpeting coming soon for the three rooms that were badly affected by the renovation (basement, den & master bedroom). And when all of this is done, we’ll need to redo a room for the baby (after what we’ve been through a newborn’s not gonna live in a room with old carpet that has G-d knows what in it).

So those of you asking about us traveling to your neck of the woods any time soon…we’ll be broke…so it’ll be a while…

Anyway…one of the things I’ve just started to realize now that there’s a baby on the way is that my desire to see certain movies when they open is pretty much a dead issue. As I was looking over the big movies that I’d have an interest in seeing and when they open (as I usually put them on the calendar), I quickly realized that there’s a very good chance that “Star Wars Episode III” will be the last film I get to see when it opens for quite some time (of course, I’m assuming I want to see it when it opens…right now I’m convinced it’s just a reaction to not being able to see other things and not any real desire to see what I know is going to be crap because George Lucas couldn’t tell a good story to save his life).

Take, for example, “Batman Begins”. It opens June 17. The baby’s due date is June 19. Anyone want to do the math on that one (although the idea of dragging Tash to see the film, assuming the baby hasn’t arrived yet, and having her give birth during it does kind of make me a bit giddy…in a perverse kind of way). And we’ve already had the “I’m not leaving a 2 week old with a sitter even if it’s your parents so we can see “Fantastic Four” discussion….so it’s become a matter of adjusting priorities…

Luckily, some of the theaters around here have “Movies for Moms”…so we can still get our fix…it just may be a bit later than I would have normally done…oh well…we make sacrifices and adjustments I suppose…

Anyway…today’s brief review is of “Battlestar Galactica”. This re-imagining currently airing on the Sci-Fi Channel picks up exactly where last year’s mini-series left off (and that’s available on DVD). We’ve had three new episodes and I have to say that not only does this show blow away the original version, it blows away most recent sci-fi shows and easily ranks up there with the best of them…yes it’s as good as “Babylon 5” and “Farscape” (which means even though it has amazing ratings and a great following look for Sci-Fi Channel to cancel it well before they should).

On a final note, today I’d like to toss out another opinion poll/question like I did right before the election…this one’s more important as far as I’m concerned and will no doubt produce many varied and passionate answers…but it’s not politically motivated, so any opinions and advice would be welcome.

What vacuum cleaner do you use and what do you like about it? (We’re in the market for a new one as our Orek to quote Bart Simpson “both sucks and blows” and the online research route I took for the new kitchen appliances is producing wild, varied and unhelpful results for vacuums).

That’s all for today. I’ll be back next time with more of the same boring crap that most of you just quickly peruse anyway ;-)

Be seeing you

Spleenless Joel

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if you crossed “Network” with “Bridget Jones’ Diary” and the entire soundtrack to “Working Girl” (and I’m sure many of you haven’t), then you want to check out “Little Black Book”. This bland, formulaic and mostly predictable “romantic comedy” (and I use that term loosely) actually has a few interesting qualities about it. You’ll be sitting there wondering how two Oscar winning actresses wound up in something like this (Holly Hunter and Kathy Bates). And when you finally get to the scenes that will show what attracted these women to the film (it’s about an hour and fifteen minutes in), you’ll be wondering why the film wasn’t more like these scenes.

The generically boring Brittany Murphy (whose best work is as the voice of Luanne Platter on “King of the Hill”) stars as a young woman who wants to work with Diane Sawyer. She winds up working on a local TV daytime talk show in her attempt at “getting in”. At the same time she discovers her boyfriend (Ron Livingston) has an entire secret life that he’s been keeping from her. So she uses her resources at the show to find out more about him by interviewing his ex-girlfriends. Oh…and just so we’re clear…the “little black book” of the title is her boyfriend’s Palm Pilot (though I’m not really sure it’s that brand, they just keep referring to it as a Palm…kind of like Xerox or Band-Aid).

Anyway, while it was nice to hear many Carly Simon songs, by the time the film actually got to the big “Let the River Run” moment, we had passed the interesting part of the film and given up all hope that the creators would follow through. Why should they, the scenes before the interesting part showed no promise either.

“The Clearing” is a taught little slow boil thriller starring Robert Redford, Willem Dafoe and Helen Mirren. Dafoe stars as a mild mannered kidnapper who drags wealthy car rental king Redford onto a trip to a cabin to meet up with the guys who paid him. Meanwhile, wife Mirren tries to cope with her husband’s disappearance and possible ransom demands. This is one of the rare times where you look at the cast and go “that’s gonna be some movie” and it doesn’t disappoint. The hows and whys of what is really going on will keep you riveted to your seat and it’s all propelled by the actors taking good writing and making it better. This would have wound up on my Top 25 list of 2004 had I seen it in time. Not sure where.

Meanwhile, over on the boob tube…

NBC’s new sitcom “Committed” at first glance seemed like every other sitcom the network has tried to wedge in the slots between “Friends” and “Seinfeld”. But with those shows gone and the curse of that 8:30 Thursday slot somewhat diminished, this show actually has a bit of juice going for it (let’s say more than “Union Square” and maybe about as much as “The Single Guy”).

When neurotic Nate (Josh Cooke) and upbeat Marni (Jennifer Finnegan) meet it’s not quite love at first sight, yet there’s something that attracts them to each other. And it all starts off via a mistaken blind date (he was supposed to pick up someone at her building, she was meeting someone at her building…they got it wrong, but hit it off). Toss in an angry African-American record shop clerk, a disabled African-American cobbler, a semi-independent and reckless nanny and a dying clown who lives in Marni’s closet (he came with the lease and is played by Tom Poston) and you’ve got an interesting blend of the weird and the clichéd. We’ll see how it goes. Between her cell phone ring – it’s “Manah Manah” – and the clown’s ongoing pie fight via the postal service with an ex-roommate – played by Bob Newhart in a brief cameo – so far it makes me laugh.

One of my favorite TV writer/creators is Glenn Gordon Carron. I’ve loved both “Moonlighting” and “Now and Again” and have looked forward to what he would cook up next. So I was a bit surprised to discover just before the pilot was broadcast that “Medium” is actually his latest work. The advertising made it out to be a cross between “The Sixth Sense” and “CSI” and quite honestly I wasn’t very interested in watching that. But once I knew it was from the brain of Glenn Gordon Carron, I was going to watch. All I’ll say after one episode is that I’m interested in seeing where he takes this. His other two shows were genre defying and well written. I’m hoping this one will show those colors also. The pilot episode was well done and interesting…but we’ll see where he takes it.

There’s been a few interesting things going on with one of my other favorite TV writers, so I thought I’d share a bit.

J. Michael Straczynski, the creator of “Babylon 5”, has been writing for Marvel Comics for about 5 years now. He’s done some amazing work on “The Amazing Spider-Man” and it’s always fun to read his take on one of my favorite Marvel characters Doctor Strange. Since he started working at Marvel, JMS has put Strange into a number of issues of Spidey and commented on how he’d love to write a Strange comic…he even apparently did a film script for the good doctor that never got made.

Well…JMS finally got what he wanted, a chance at giving Doctor Strange a new lease on life…and while I’m going to reserve full judgment until this six issue miniseries is over, at the half-way point all I can say about “Strange” is “what was this man thinking??”

For those of you who don’t know his story…Stephen Strange is a top surgeon who’s just a bit full of himself. When he injures his hands in a drunk driving accident, he winds up on a quest to gain some insight into the petty and shallow life he’s been living. He winds up in Asia learning many things, mostly of the supernatural type, from a mystery man known only as The Ancient One and not only discovers what life is all about, but also about what lies beyond as he eventually inherits the titles of “Sorcerer Supreme” and “Master of the Mystic Arts”.

In interviews before the first issue’s release, JMS stated that Strange’s origins were heavily rooted in the 1960s (when Stan Lee and Steve Ditko created the character) and came very much out of the stage magic traditions of the time. JMS wanted to update him and make him more relevant. His handling of the character during appearances in “The Amazing Spider-Man” would lead one to believe he was on the right track…but this mini-series, so far, shows us that the track for re-inventing Stephen Strange runs parallel to “The Matrix”…so parallel that they may as well be the same story. Three issues in, I’m disappointed because there is no drunken car accident (it’s now a skiing accident) and Strange has become Neo in all but name (with The Ancient One essentially becomes Morpheus and Clea becoming Trinity). Yuck.

It’s just been revealed that JMS will be taking over Marvel’s flagship title, “Fantastic Four” this summer. Hopefully, he won’t fuck it up as bad. I don’t think Marvel would let him, mind you…Doctor Strange has always been a bit of a fringe book that seems to stop and start every 90 issues or so…”FF” has been going pretty strong since 1960 and is up to the mid 500s now.

The last bit of JMS news involves some rumors about the long awaited “Babylon 5” feature film. Supposedly, Warner Brothers is pushing to recast the characters with big name stars. While there isn’t a lot of info out there and JMS has been mysteriously quiet and cryptic, it looks like this may be true. More on it as the film develops. Personally, if not having Brad Pitt play Captain Sheridan (just to throw out a crazy notion) meant no movie, I’m happy for it.

What Warner should do is hold off on making any final decisions until October 2005. Then we can see just how successful a “thought-dead TV series” can be brought to the big screen with a no name cast in tact and the series creator at the helm (I’m talking about “Serenity”, the Joss Whedon written-directed movie version of his cancelled TV series “Firefly”…and all early reviews from test screenings, from fans and newcomers alike, seem to say the film kicks ass…can’t wait…it’s one of five films that I’ve already got a babysitter lined up for…more on that comment next time).

And lastly for today because I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned it before, I’m giving a big kudos to Fox Home Video for their upcoming release of “The X-Files” spin-off “The Lone Gunmen” on DVD. Arriving on March 29, this box set will include all 13 episodes of the show as well as “Jump the Shark” the Season 9 “The X-Files” episode that wrapped up any dangling plot lines from the show before it was abruptly cancelled. Most importantly, this set will include the unedited version of the pilot. For those of you who don’t know, care or are likely to get angered and incensed, the pilot episode of “The Lone Gunmen” which aired on March 4, 2001 featured a plot involving Byers trying to stop terrorists from flying an airplane into the World Trade Center. I’m sure that Fox is going to get flack for it from various groups (although it is a cancelled show that the general public won’t remember anyway), but editing or removing it entirely would be more of a disservice in my opinion.

Anyway…that’s all for today…I’ll be back next time with an update Fugue…the house, Tash & I, the baby and a few other things all wrapped up in one neat package…

Until then…be seeing you.

Spleenless Joel

Best & Worst of 2004

It’s that time of year again. So without the usual rigmarole of an intro…let’s cut to the chase…

Worst 5 Films of 2004

05) Any Movie That Tried to Change The Course of the Presidential Election – Thanks to several 24 hour a day news channels and enough talking heads blowing enough hot toxic air to deplete the ozone layer several times over, the idea of having any movie try to cram a propagandistic message down my throat disgusts me. I tried to be as objective as possible and actually sat through almost every one of these shlocky, partisan hack pieces. Regardless of any inherent entertainment value, manipulation of the facts and creating your own spin zone does not a good movie make. The upside to having all this shit out there was the rise in number of documentaries seen…which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

04) The Stepford Wives – I love when good movies get bad remakes. A comedic twist on this classic tale wasn’t a bad idea. It was just executed badly. There are at least a dozen remakes scheduled for 2005 release. It will take a lot for any of them to be as bad as this one.

03) Welcome to Mooseport – On TV everybody may love Raymond, but in the movies, unless he’s doing the voice of an animated character, we’ve learned to hate Raymond. The casting of this one note comedian turned a slightly funny film into a tiresome bore.

02) Connie & Carla – Ugh. All I can say at this point is ugh. Someone remind David Duchovny that his bread is buttered by Chris Carter and get both men off their asses for a second movie from “The X-Files”…even if it’s mired in whatever’s left of the conspiracy stories it’d be a bazillion times better than this derivative piece of crap.

01) Shrek 2 – I’m pretty sure that a “kid’s” film has hit the top of this list for the last few years. Why am I harder on this type of film? I think there’s more at stake as children are so impressionable and we have a tendency to just plop them down without them having any context. The wonderful messages of the first film are obliterated by the over indulgence of “pop culture” references and fart jokes. Whatever story there is exists only to string this crap together. Unfortunately, we’re going to get two more of these films. I’d expect them to also wind up on the worst list of the years of their respective releases…but I’m gonna do my best not to see them (even if the kid wants to).

Best 25 Films of 2004

25) The Punisher – Comic book adaptations had a really good year in 2004. This one, while a lesser one, was no exception. The gritty “reality” of the one man death machine worked pretty well…even if it offered a very bleak message. The over-the-top and silly ending is what kept it from getting higher on the list.

24) Mean Girls – This Tina Fey written Lindsey Lohan starring vehicle is a modern version of “Heathers” without the “crossing the line to the dark side” aspects. This will be the last good Lohan film before we all got burned out on hearing her name.

23) Troy – It’s an epic-less epic. Somehow the massiveness this story should have gets lost into a well told character-driven film…and yet it still ran an epic length (and almost felt it). This story will be told again and maybe then they’ll get it 100% right. As this one stands it’s about 85% there.

22) The Terminal – Spielberg stays away from his action roots to bring us a wonderfully schmaltzy heart warming piece starring the versatile Tom Hanks. Both men have done better and worse.

21) Dodgeball – While most comedies seem to be deploying the same fart jokes over and over these days, this one offers plenty of opportunity for crotch shot jokes. Luckily, they’ve been wrapped in a delightful underdog story that utilizes the “ultimate” in human degradation sports (at least, I’m pretty sure that was the purpose when we played it in high school).

20) The Bourne Supremacy – Matt Damon proves why he’s a better actor than Ben Affleck once again. He can not only pull off being an action hero, he can do it in a sequel as well. I know some loved the car chase at the film’s climax, but I thought it went a bit over the top and wound being unbelievable. It didn’t ruin the film…it only kept it from being higher on my list.

19) Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle – A silly title gets us a very funny “stoner” film minus Cheech & Chong. Worth seeing just for the Doogie Houser jokes.

18) Eurotrip – funnier than it has any right to be, this teen sex comedy actually re-energized my belief that this genre could still work. And that damn song is still rattling around in my head…Scotty doesn’t know…Scotty doesn’t know…Scotty does know.

17) Team America: World Police – The creators of “South Park” skewer celebrities and politicians…only they could have used one more script re-write. The film’s funny…but should have been much funnier.

16) Dawn of the Dead – I fully expected to HATE this film. George Romero’s one of my favorite directors and I never like seeing films of his be remade for a cheap dollar. Surprisingly, they didn’t fuck it up and instead of trying to do it for money (I know…the whole idea of a remake…and the movie industry in general kind of goes against that last statement); they just did it for fun. It’s not a horror film by any means and does the action film genre a service by crossing it into horror every now and then.

15) Hellboy – The second comic book film of the year on this list is a wonderful blend of action, comedy, horror and to a lesser extent romance. It was nice to see that we can have a fictional character walking around who is made out of latex and doesn’t look like it. This film needs a sequel now.

14) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – It’s the best of the three films so far. The only reason it actually ranks lower on my list this year is because there were better films this year than during the years the previous entries came out.

13) Saved – This funny look at life in a Catholic school proved that the hierarchy that exists within high school societies isn’t exclusive to public schools and anyone who thinks schools like this are above it all is wrong.

12) Garden State – Surprisingly, the star of TV’s “Scrubs” can also write and direct as well as he acts (which he proves here again).

11) Badassss – A wonderful love letter from a son (Mario van Peebles) to a father (Melvin van Peebles). This film about filmmaking is a great look into the mind of a man and the way independent films were made back when they truly were independent.

10) Super Size Me – Sure, common sense tells us that eating fast food every day for every meal for a month is bad for us…now we have a visual record in case we forget. Not only will it make you think twice, it’ll make you remember every time you step into a fast food restaurant that if you need to be there you should be making better choices.

09) The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou – Bill Murray does a better acting job in a better film than he was acclaimed for last year. A wonderful life that should be seen by everyone.

08) Spider-Man 2 – A comic book movie once again proves that it can transcend its origins. The plot that’s been grafted onto the action scenes serves them all better. Is it the best comic book movie ever made? It’s pretty damn close.

07) Shaun of the Dead – Bringing back the Romero zombie (you know…the slow lurking ones…as opposed to the more modern speedy ones) was nice, but the stroke of brilliance was making fun of them.

06) Sideways – The further from this film I get, the less I like it (it did start as number three on my list). What keeps this film from falling any lower is the acting job by Paul Giamatti. The story is nice, but nothing special…it’s watching him…every moment he’s on screen (which is pretty much all of this) that keeps you riveted. There’s never a false moment.

05) The Aviator – This is how good Martin Scorsese is as a film maker. Even when he’s not at his best, he still ranks high. It’s a long film, but it’s a damn good one.

04) Control Room – This amazing documentary takes a good long look at the controversial news network Al-Jazeera. These guys are walking a very fine line between real news organization and propaganda….just like all of “our” news channels. But unlike, “our” news, these guys do the best they can in a tough situation (they’re hated by the West for doing things one way and hated by the Arabs for doing things the other) and this film shows the nice balance they’ve struck.

03) The Incredibles – Pixar hits another one out of the park. The best comic book film of the year and it wasn’t even based on a comic book (but easily could have been).

02) Kill Bill Volume 2 – Okay…so Volume 1 surprisingly made my Best of 2003 list when it was rather clear that I hated it (it wound up at 24…which says a lot about 2003 as a year). This film made up for anything I hates about the first. Not only did Tarantino make a completely different film (at the same time), you’ll finally realize why Volume 1 had to be the way it was. David Carradine is the Best Supporting Actor of 2004…regardless of what goes down at the Oscars next month.

01) Finding Neverland – As I said…”Peter Pan” is one of my favorite stories…and this film made me cry…and not like “shed-one-tear-after-my-eyes-water-up” crying, but “I need to hug my wife because I love her” crying…just see it…

Anyway…that’s all for today…I’ll be back again soon with some reviews…the usual stuff…but I’ll be switching the focus for a bit to comic book related stuff for a few issues over the next month…just because…

Be seeing you

Spleenless Joel