The Palz of Lemony Snickett

Before we start today’s movie review, just a couple of quick bits of what I consider to be some cool news.

In March of 2005, Fox Home Video will be releasing a DVD box set of The Lone Gunmen. This comedic action spin-off of The X-Files only ran for 13 episodes before being unjustly cancelled. Not only will this set include the unedited version of the pilot episode (the one that aired in March of 2001 and featured a plot by terrorists to fly an airplane into the World Trade Center), but it will also feature the Season 9 episode of The X-Files entitled “Jump the Shark” that ties up all the loose ends from this series…thereby making this collection as complete as it can get (there will also be a few other extras included).

In a bit of related The X-Files news…Palisades Toys has jumped into the block action figure craze with a vengeance. Their new line of 2 ½ inch tall figures with 14 points of articulation and loads of accessories is called “Palz” and the first license has just started to hit stores. The first batch of figures based on Buffy the Vampire Slayer look amazing (I’ll have reviews when I’m back in CT) and are just plain cool. Palisades has 7 waves planned so far (one for each season) and the first wave consists of Buffy, Willow, Giles, Xander, Darla and The Master. Each figure has a “transformation” feature: turn the head around, switch out some body parts (included in the package) and presto you’ve got a new version of the same character (for example, Darla can go from human to vampire in a switch). There are also two exclusive figures of Angel and Vampire Buffy available online. A second series arrives in April and includes Oz, Cordelia, Buffy, Spike, Drusilla and Jenny Calendar. There will also be three packs of monsters (without the transformation features). The first pack arrives in April and includes The Anointed One, Marcie Ross and Der Kinderstod.

What does all this have to do with The X-Files? Well, that’s the second line of Palz that Palisades has licensed from Fox (and since they’re all the same size, Mulder & Buffy can go hunt Vampires and other monsters together while Angel and Scully get it on). The first series arrives in March of 2005 and includes Mulder, Scully, Deep Throat, Frohike, Grey Alien, Conundrum, Flukeman (who comes with his own Port-O-Potty) and Donnie Pfaster. There will be variant versions of Mulder, Scully and Donnie Pfaster. These will also feature loads of cool accessories, but no transformations. If you pick up extra Deep Throats and Frohikes you could probably make a Kolchak the Night Stalker Palz. A second series is in the planning stages and could include Scully, Mulder (both different from the previous releases), Cigarette Smoking Man, Langley, X, Eugene Victor Tooms, the Bat Thing, Marita Covarrubius, Krychek and Skinner (as in Assistant Director Skinner, not Principal Skinner from The Simpsons).

Meanwhile in other cool Palisades Toys news, they’ve picked up the license for Sesame Street and are planning at least two waves for 2005 to match their highly successful, yet about to come to an end line of figures from The Muppet Show. The first wave consists of Ernie, Oscar, Guy Smiley and the Two Headed Monster – which continues a pattern established by their other Muppet line of two popular characters, a fan favorite and an obscure one. There will be two versions of the figures available. Mass market retailers will be selling just the figure. Specialty outlets will be selling a set that includes the figure and a section of Sesame Street (with a bit of a cheated scale, but if you’ve seen Palisades Back Stage playset from The Muppet Show you’ll see how close they come). The section included with this group of figures will be where Oscar’s can sits (just in front of the fence to Big Bird’s nest). There will also be a Super Grover exclusive available at Wizard World Chicago Convention in March to kick off the line. With a phone booth, inter-changeable heads and a cloth trench coat Grover can change from super hero to mild mannered reporter in seconds (but don’t expect to make him plain old regular or “naked” Grover as the “G” is part of his chest sculpt and is not removable).

Meanwhile, look for the other Muppet line to wind down a bit as it switches to retail exclusives only. So far, Gonzo & Rizzo from Muppet Treasure Island, Scoutmaster Kermit and Uncle Deadly are the only figures to have found homes, but the entire cast of Veterinarian’s Hospital and Johnny Fiamma’s monkey pal Sal are sculpted and looking for homes. There may be a few more before the line officially ends sometime in 2005.

Lastly, in the block figure category…look for Art Asylum to continue their highly successful line of Minimates with more characters from Marvel Comics and Lord of the Rings as well as more C3 construction sets that feature DC Comics characters from various Batman incarnations as well as Justice League Unlimited. Rumor also has them teaming up with Dc Comics to create comic versions of the rest of the DC Universe and release them through DC’s own toy company DC Direct. We’ll keep our fingers crossed.

And finally…with Playmates line from The Simpsons at an end, Mezco’s line from Family Guy has picked up the slack. The first six figures are already in stores and are a good mix of the family (Peter, Chris, Lois, Brian and two different Stewies). The second wave is even better (Rufus Griffen, Quagmire, Meg, Mutant Stewie, Naked Peter and Death as well as an S&M two pack of Lois & Peter) and the third wave just continues the crazy fun (Cristobel, Peter in drag, Brian’s cousin Jasper, next door neighbor and handicapped cop Joe, the Pope and Mayor Adam West – which will easily be the coolest toy of 2005). Can’t wait to see where else they take this line.

Obviously, I can’t wait to have a kid now just so I can play with all the cool toys I’ve been collecting (and we’re gonna be getting rid of some in the process that just aren’t worth keeping anymore – and obviously some will have to wait until Baby Faced Fenster is old enough to play without swallowing small removable parts – it’s a good thing that all these mini figures can fit into one shoe box and reside on a very high shelf until then).

Now…on to our first movie review from Napa…

I must admit to not being too familiar with the popular series of children’s books known as Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events beyond knowing they exist, they’re popular and they’re currently up to book 11. So I went into the film version a complete tabula rasa.

The titular Lemony Snicket is a writer who has been detailing the lives of the Beaudelaire orphans. There’s the eldest, Violet, who is good at inventing things. There’s Klaus, the middle child, who loves to read and has memorized every book he’s ever read. And then there’s the infant Sunny who loves to bite things. Unfortunately, Mr. Snicket informs us of the tragic death of their parents and the children are shipped off to live with their closest relative, Count Orloff (closest in the sense that he lives 37 blocks away…we’re never sure how the children are actually related to him).

Orloff is an actor along the lines of Master Thespian from the old Saturday Night Live sketches with Jon Lovitz. And he’s not just a bad actor, he’s a bad person. He’s only interested in the Beaudelaire fortune. So he sets about trying to kill the children so he can get the money. He’s foiled of course (although not in any way that he gets caught because no one believes the children) and the orphans are shipped off to live happily with their Uncle Monty.

Of course, it isn’t long before Uncle Monty’s new assistant arrives and the kids quickly discover that it’s Count Orloff in disguise. Orloff dispatches Monty and the kids are again shipped off (after Orloff escapes again) to live with their Aunt Josephine…can you see where this is now headed? The film doesn’t have the happy ending one would find in a typical children’s film…but it does have a very satisfying one that sets up a continuation of adaptations of the books.

The story is one of the best types of children’s stories as it doesn’t talk down to children and is rather dark, yet does manage to send a rather positive message. It is also the type of children’s story that adults should thoroughly enjoy as it works on many levels. In my research on the books, I’ve discovered that the film adapts the first three and that further books continue the pattern of the orphans winding up in a new living arrangement and then Orloff shows up before long in a disguise to try and get the money or kill the children or both. It will be interesting to see how any further films continue this pattern.

Jim Carrey stars as Count Orloff and it gives him the opportunity to mug, overact and prance about on screen like he usually does. Meryl Streep and Billy Connolly also give good performances as the other doomed guardians of the children. But it is the naturalness of the three child actors that keeps things moving along nicely. If these children weren’t believable as people who survived a tragedy, the entire film would have easily fallen apart. Jude Law provides the voice of Lemony Snicket (who is an amazing narrator of these tales…both witty and informative without being saccharine and clichéd).

The movie, like life, explains how we must find the strength to survive what tends to be one unfortunate event after another. Savor the good moments because they are what will give you that strength. Look to family carefully because while they are supposedly there to give you the strength, not all of them can be there all the time and some of them are there for their own purposes. And always, always listen to children…because they will always, surely be listening to you.

I’ll be back tomorrow with another review (probably Ocean’s Twelve or Spanglish).

Be seeing you