Sunday, March 05, 2006

Top 25/Worst 5 of 2005

Hey folks,

I usually publish a Top 25/Worst 5 Films of each year within a month of the year ending (if not sooner). But this has been a pretty wacky year (what with the birth of my first child and all)...so movie watching in the theaters was scarce at best. While I've been trying to catch up in time for the Oscars and fill out this list, I've barely made it. I don't think I actually saw 25 films worth labelling "best" (even in the loosest sense of the word). There's plenty I didn't see yet...but in the meantime...here's what I've got to go with (even if it's just to say I've written up a list like this since 1992 or so).

Let's start with the bottom of the barrel.

5) Must Love Dogs -- This film epitomizes everything wrong with the romantic comedy genre. We need something fresh and not more dog poop like this. Yes...I did see a lot of "worse" films than this, but I'm trying to make a point I couldn't have made with Monster-In-Law or Bewitched.

4) Pride & Prejudice -- I actually enjoyed this, but it makes this list simply to please my wife (she's a big fan of the novel and the mini-series version with Colin Firth)...so it was terrible simply because I had to not only hear how terrible it was, but also sit through several other versions for proof.

3) The Dukes of Hazzard -- Could I have picked other examples of this genre? Sure... and Bewitched and The Honeymooners were also terrible...but this one is probably the worst of all "Big Screen Remakes of Classic TV Shows". Which says a lot if you sat through Car 54, Where Are You?

2) John Carpenter Remakes (Assault on Precinct 13/The Fog) -- Remakes are bad enough...but here we're taking B-level films (which normally deserve to be remade if only to push a good idea to a greater level), and turning them to predictable, boring, formulaic shit (which neither was originally). The less said about these, the better...but check out the originals...

1) American Pie Presents Band Camp -- Okay...so it didn't have a theatrical release...but this direct to DVD piece of shit epitomizes everything that's wrong with the thinking when it comes to direct to DVD movies that only continue a "franchise".

And now...here's the Top 20 films of 2005 (sorry...couldn't get to 25 no matter how hard I tired...and you'll see by my number 20 entry how hard I'm trying to just fill the space).

20) Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith -- It's here simply because it's now all over and we no longer have to look forward to how George Lucas will continue to betray his fans and rape our collective childhoods...until the TV series starts at least.

19) Brothers Grimm -- Terry Gilliam always seems to get a bad rap...but this film was a good hybrid of the Gilliam artistic sense and Hollywood formula. A fun film that could have gone a few steps further.

18) Fantastic Four -- The changes to Doctor Doom notwithstanding, this film was a lot of fun and the perfect way to launch what will hopefully be a franchise that grows nicely (and hopefully corrects the Doctor Doom problems in the process).

17) Constantine -- A great comic book adaptation given the "circumstances" (Keanu Reeves as a magic man who was modelled after Sting??). Lots of fun and just the shot in the arm that the "smaller" heroes need to get to the big screen.

16) Madagascar -- It's funny. Isn't that enough?

15) The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy -- After years of being on-again/off-again, the Douglas Adams classic sci-fi novel finally makes it to the big screen. Will it satisfy every fan of the books? No. Will it bring new fans to the books? No. But is it good in its own right? You bet your ass.

14) Tim Burton's Corpse Bride -- This wonderful little fairy tale is nice and dark...just how they should be.

13) Wallace & Grommit in Curse of the Were-Rabbit -- The claymated duo get a big adventure that has laughs for the whole family. Easily one of the best animated films in a very long time.

12) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire -- Part Four gets to the meat of what would have been a long-ass film if made exactly like the book. This is the way to make a good adaptation.

11) Inside Deep Throat -- This documentary is not just about porn (and a specific porn film) but about censorship in our society. It should be seen by anyone who thinks free speech is over-rated.

10) Sin City -- A neat "experiment" that blends modern independent filmmaking with classic graphic novel artistry (and all the while being the product of a Hollywood machine). Can't wait for a sequel.

9) Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room -- Another must see documentary...this is what happens when you live Gordon Gekko's motto of "Greed is good"...this is a lesson for all of us.

8) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory -- Tim Burton returns the dark humor to this more faithful adaptation of Roald Dahl's classic children's book and creates a classic to match the original movie.

7) Layer Cake -- Want to see how Daniel Craig will be as James Bond? Catch this wonderful piece about a drug dealer trying to get out.

6) The Constant Gardener -- This wonderful slow boil showcases Ralph Fiennes in a role that he should have gotten an Oscar nomination for.

5) The Artistocrats -- The dumbest joke in the world gets told and retold in every hysterical manner. This is a wonderful look at the deconstruction of humor and how it works.

4) A History of Violence -- This dark and offbeat film noir should have gotten more recognition at the Oscars than it did.

3) Batman Begins -- The BEST comic book adaptation since 1978's Superman...hands down (and there have been a few good ones).

2) Crash -- I love films that move you to think. This is a rare one and there isn't a flase note.

1) Serenity -- Pound for pound this is an amazing bit of storrytelling from a master. In making that tough leap from TV to Big Screen, Joss Whedon faced the impossible of catering to fans of the show and bringing in new people without losing them in all the baggage. He conquored the impossible and made a film that can be enjoyed by so many on so many different levels. It has everything required to keep a viewers interest...and yet, barely anyone saw it. It's never too late to still catch this great film as it's now on DVD...until the next format makes it obsolete.

Well...that's my list for 2005...I wish it had been a better list (or a better year for films), but I had such a great year that movies don't matter too much anymore...yes...I just blasphemed...I'll regain my senses eventually...until then...

Be seeing you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Joel!

I hesitated to write only to disagree, but since we have a 20 year history of having more fun when we disagree on films, I thought this was a good thing. I have two major disagreements, and have concluded we're on different planets.

1. CRASH?!

Not a false beat? Funny, I struggled to find an honest beat in this piece of drivel, couldn't do it. Here's what I thought of Crash: Pure, moist, steamy pile of sh*t.

Right from scene one, the dialogue in Crash is embarrassingly phony, we couldn't help but laugh (we saw it at home, so we didn't disturb anyone): "Graham, we were rear-ended. We spun around three times. Somewhere in there one of us lost our frame of reference. I'm gonna go look for it." What the hell is that? That's hilarious. Nobody talks like that. That's oh-look-at-me-I'm-clever first-time writer dialogue. It's insulting. Take the time to write a second draft before you subject us to your precious little pearls of dialogue, Messrs. Haggis & Moresco.

The only thing worse than the pathetic, false-sounding dialogue is the hammy acting. A SAG award? Are they mad? I guess sending all 120,000 SAG members a free DVD helped butter them up, and I guess lots of self-absorbed actors wished they could have chewed the screen with all that overacting and mugging too. These performances suck. Such a decent cast of B+-list lovables (plus the great Don Cheadle), nearly every one of them phony as hell here. Not one of them developed a real character, at least that showed on screen. There is zero depth or subtlety or layering or real life behind all their bad lines. It's all so adamantly on the nose -- it's like decent musical theater acting. But, uh, this is a movie, folks. I would blame the director, not the actors necessarily. But what an insult to the brilliance and subtlety of every single performance in Brokeback Mountain, to give these one-note performances an award of any kind. Even Capote had far more nuanced acting than this (but not nearly as nuanced as Brokeback; sorry Mr. Hoffman, but Mr. Ledger's performance has no equal since early Brando).

Crash is a series of comically over-performed "issue" speeches and mini-monologues, each ending with a big affected zinger, as if the actors were on a dinner theater stage and the curtain were about to drop and they desperately wanted their Applause Line heard in the back row. Did I mention how phony this movie is? The auto mechanic gesturing for the two carjackers to come closer just so he can end the scene with his little zinger: "Do I look like a wanna be on the Discovery Channel? Then get the f**k outta my shop!" Oy. (I half-expected Cary Elwes to dip his head in and reprise his eye rolling after every lame joke in Robin Hood: Men in Tights!) Or take the carjackers complaining about everyone being scared of them, including the Sandra Bullock character, right before they whip out their guns? That entire conversation was false, done solely for the audience. Not an honest note between them. The movie is full of it, 'tis pure sh*t.

And what's with the music? It kept creeping in there in case we weren't sure what we were supposed to be feeling, as if the on-the-nose dialogue weren't sufficient. Sweet dad under the bed with his sweet little girl, better play that sweet music or the dumb audience might not understand this is a sweet emotional moment. This is such movie of the week "issue" stuff. I do not enjoy being talked down to. This movie presumes we are all idiots. If the Academy wanted to snub THE MOST HONORED MOVIE IN CINEMA HISTORY at the time of the Oscars (Brokeback Mountain, with more Best Picture and Director wins than Schindler's List and Titanic combined), they could have at least chosen one of the other contenders to give the air of plausible deniability.


2. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN.

Not even on your top 20? It should be #1. This movie is a masterpiece. A testament to the art of cinema. It will go down as one of the greats. It is not for everyone, by which I mean it is not for audiences who only want to be spoon-fed and hand-held and have everything spelled out for them. I'm like that too at times, hell, I'm proud to admit I loved Titanic, I got pulled in... but if it hadn't been an amazing effects movie, I doubt I would have been nearly as much.

But this movie demands sitting up and paying close attention, it demands being an active viewer and piecing things together that are plainly there but not spelled out, because it's a movie about a handful of people who can't express what they're really thinking and feeling, which forces everything between the lines. It's all about subtlety and nuance.

THIS is a movie without a single false beat, nor a single wasted line or frame. You're drawn in immediately, the moment the two leads meet, and you realize this is going to be a movie about what's NOT said. I think the best way to truly appreciate the genius of this movie is to see it a second time. I know that's what it took for me, and most folks I know. It's very good the first time, but it's a work of genius the second. I wasn't terribly moved emotionally when I first saw it, but then, like most people, it HAUNTED me. Couldn't get it out of my head, and I started feeling the emotions after the fact. I put things together I hadn't put together while watching, and suddenly it resonated for me and I had to go again. I think this is so common because this movie refuses to give us the typical Hollywood catharsis that's so atypical of real life. In this way it is honest to the last. This is the most brutally honest movie I've seen in a long, long time. No punches are pulled, you sympathize with just about everybody, nobody is all good or bad (in a way Crash only wished it had achieved, because this one has real people who speak and behave like real people). The second time I saw it, I was moved to tears 4 or 5 times throughout the movie, which is a very common reaction. All those things that you didn't pick up on the first time now change your perspective on the characters, and you understand what's really going on under their skins.

Such restraint in writing, cinematography, scoring, acting and direction is rare, and incredibly satisfying. Unlike Crash, this movie assumes we are intelligent moviegoers, it assumes we don't need to be talked down to, that we can figure out what's going on. This is the first drama I have ever seen that actually gets more emotionally powerful each time I see it, even beyond the second time (I've seen it many times now, what with all the filmmaker and actor Q&A screenings out here, but I could see it many more times and still be greatly moved).

Ang Lee is a master. These performances, down to the one-line bit parts, are flawless. Every one of them has depth and nuance, to the degree that you discover new layers every time you see it. On my fourth viewing I saw things in Michelle Williams' performance I hadn't spotted before. She and Anne Hathaway and Roberta Maxwell and Jake Gyllenhaal deliver heart wrenching performances. But Heath Ledger, he is the man. His performance is mesmerizing. It's like he capped a volcano and never lets more than a wisp of steam out here and there, and that restraint allows us to discover new layers every time we recall or re-see the movie. Rarely has an actor evoked so much with so few words. Not to mention the subtle ways his (like Gyllenhaal's) voice and body change while aging 20 years (helped by terrific, equally subtle makeup). This performance will go down in film history as one of the few greats to be studied.

While this movie is about more than a love story (it's really about loneliness and fear and the inability to express ones emotions), the love is more realistic and believable than that portrayed in most love stories (even some I like) -- because lasting love rarely develops out of big, dramatic or even obvious events (that's more the stuff of infatuation and melodramatic romance), but rather out of little moments, moments you don't necessarily grasp the importance of at the time. Larry McMurtry, Dianna Ossana and Ang Lee refuse to hit us over the head with high romance on the bow of a ship or floor of a ballroom or a grassy field in the rain, or any such larger-than-life (i.e., less realistic) cinematic creation. All of that has its place, just not here. In Brokeback Mountain we watch a friendship & relationship develop organically in these little moments. Things that may seem innocuous at first -- a glance, a smile, a conversation, a kind gesture, a shared activity, a shared laugh, a touch -- pack emotional import on a deep level. These are the things that gradually entwine their hearts. Again, there are no wasted lines or beats. Not a one. Ossana, McMurtry, Lee, the actors & editors were merciless in this regard. A finely crafted mating dance between Jack and Ennis progresses steadily through Act I, so brilliantly plotted that it never seems forced, yet each moment nicely builds on the last.

The only problem this movie has is that all the (richly deserved) praise sets people up for something spectacular and big, when really it's a very quiet, very small film. If people go in with grand expectations of sweeping romance or such, they're going to be disappointed. Folks have to go in without expectation and just let it wash over them. It is by far the best film of the year, and the best drama in many, many, many years.

But hey, that's just my opinion.

- Glenn