Thursday, May 20, 2004

ABC: Backwards and Forwards 2004

Hey folks,

Today we look at ABC’s fall lineup. I think they may have the most number of new shows I’ve actually got even a slight interest in trying out (that would be five).

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

10-8 – 15 Episodes/1 Unaired
I watched the first few episodes of this show, but there wasn’t much to keep me interested beyond that. I usually like seeing Ernie Hudson get work as he’s a very versatile actor.

The Practice – 8 Seasons/168 Episodes
I had stopped watching this show after the 6th Season. I had become bored with the ever silly plotlines dealing with the various characters within the firm. I had also always felt that the addition of Lara Flynn Boyle’s Assistant DA was a one note part that ended long ago. Luckily, this past season brought about a number of invigorating changes. A pairing down of the cast to the few interesting ones, the addition of James Spader and a rotating list of high profile guests kept this show fresh and energetic for most of the season. Unfortunately, instead of keeping the energy up, the end of the season devolved into the setup for a spin-off. This essentially made all storylines involving the remaining original characters into secondary plots while the antics of William Shatner and his law firm took center stage. Even Spader started taking a back seat at points. (I won’t even get started on the very pointless return of Dylan McDermott to the last two episodes) Hopefully the new show will find it’s footing rather quickly and not continue the silliness.

It’s All Relative – 22 Episodes Produced/2 Episodes Unaired
Missed this one. Who was in it? Oh…right…that’s the show with the very funny Lenny Clarke that seemed to be very unfunny…I did see an episode. My mistake.

Karen Sisco – 10 Episodes Produced/7 Aired on ABC/3 Aired on USA
This TV version of the movie “Out of Sight” was much better than that really good film and deserved a better fate than what ABC gave it. They pulled the show early in the season with a promise to relaunch it at a better time. That never came and they just dumped it months later. Luckily, USA had enough success with the reruns to air the remaining episodes (and most of the series is still parked on our Tivo for a marathon viewing in the near future). Maybe we’ll see this on DVD (with whatever unproduced scripts are floating around).

Threat Matrix – 16 Episodes/2 Unaired
This action/thriller took the post 9/11 world of Homeland Security and made it into a weekly series. I figured since “24” had been doing this so much better for so much longer and had “name” talent involved, why should I bother.

L.A. Dragnet – 2 Seasons/22 Episodes/5 Aired on USA
The first season of this update was good…not great…but good. With Ed O’Neill’s Joe Friday as mentor and Ethan Embrey’s Frank Smith as student it showed a lot of promise. Unfortunately, ABC added the “L.A.” to the title and a bunch of “students” to replace Embrey for the second season. It wasn’t as interesting and all potential went away. So did the show after 5 episodes on ABC.

Kingdom Hospital – 13 Episodes
While the show is currently on hiatus, it will not be returning in the fall (look for the episodes to be burned off in June). The series was interesting, but obvious to start with. I actually gave up about five episodes in when I realized I just didn’t care much. Being the Stephen King fan I am, I’ll pick it up and try again when the DVD comes out in October.

The D.A. — 4 Episodes
Generally speaking I like Stephen Weber, but I missed this show’s airings entirely.

I’m with Her – 22 Episodes
This was the mediocre sitcom based on the lives of Brooke Shields and her non-celebrity husband…I don’t think I ever even bothered.

Married to the Kellys – 22 Episodes
Breckin Meyer strikes out in his second sitcom (that NBC Must See TV comedy about the sports commentator whose title eludes me now was the previous one). What was this about?

Life with Bonnie – 2 Seasons/44 Episodes
Bonnie Hunt is a very funny and talented lady. While this sitcom wasn’t great, it was given the chance to prove itself. I’m not sure it deserved being cancelled now (when other crap remains), but I didn’t watch often enough to miss it.

The Big House – 6 Episodes
I think I blinked and missed this. What was this about?

Line of Fire – 13 Episodes/2 Unaired
I missed this also. It sounded a bit like “Wiseguy”.

Celebrity Mole – 4 Seasons/35 Episodes
This was on for fourth seasons?????!!!!!!

RETURNING SHOWS

Alias – Due to all the chaos that is Sunday at 9pm, I stopped watching this show early into the third season. Now that it won’t premiere until January and I’ll have caught up (since Season Three arrives on DVD in September), I’ll add it back to my viewing list.

8 Simple Rules – The only thing this show had going for it initially was its two leads: John Ritter and Katey Sagal. Tragically, Ritter died early this season…but I’m a bit surprised the show is still going. I sampled it after his death and found it to be a bit of an oddity. Trying to work in the character’s death in what is a sitcom was odd enough, but then they brought in guest stars to fill the void. When you have to add David Spade, you’ve hit rock bottom.

According To Jim – Another “cutesy” sitcom that’s going on too long. The fourth season starts in the fall. I smell a “Coach” or “Wings” in the making.

Less Than Perfect – It’s not bad, but it’s not good. Starts a third season this fall. I’m still amazed that a sitcom with Eric Roberts can be as funny as this one can get at times.

NYPD Blue – Coming back for a 12th and final season in the fall. I stopped watching well before Jimmy Smits left the show. Does Dennis Franz even have a partner anymore??

My Wife and Kids – See my entry for “According to Jim”.

The Bachelor – At the rate this show’s going all the available hunks should be married off (and divorced) by the end of next season.

George Lopez – See my entry for “My Wife and Kids”.

Hope and Faith – The teaming of Faith Ford and Kelly Ripa was inspired. This is the one show currently on TV that I actually regret not watching more of (I’ve seen maybe three episodes). It’s made me laugh every time I watch. Maybe this fall I’ll try again.

Extreme Makeover – Sorry folks, this and “The Swan” have pretty much made me give up on the concept of reality shows. ABC may as well air “Faces of Death” once a week as far as I’m concerned. Watching people with low to no self esteem go through needless, unnecessary and risky surgery for our entertainment is foolish and disgusting. Surprisingly, I feel the same way about the “Home Edition” of this show (and I generally like home remodel shows…maybe it’s just the connection to the title here).

America’s Funniest Home Videos – Tom Bergeron is a funny guy. He probably deserves better than this show which still remains mostly watching animals fall, babies fall and men getting hit in the crotch. How many years of that stuff can we take??

The Wonderful World of Disney – Not sure what this really is anymore. It ain’t wonderful and it’s no longer Disney’s. But it is back yet again.

NEXT SEASON’S LINE UP
When two shows are listed for one time slot it means the second show is currently scheduled to take over at mid-season or after a complete uninterrupted run of the first show.

Mondays until January
8pm The Benefactor
9pm Monday Night Football

Mondays starting in January
8pm Monday Night Movie
10pm Gray’s Anatomy

Tuesdays
8pm My Wife and Kids
8:30 George Lopez
9pm According to Jim
9:30 Rodney
10pm NYPD Blue/Blind Justice

Wednesdays
8pm Lost
9pm The Bachelor
10pm Wife Swap

Thursdays
8pm Extreme Makeover
9pm Life As We Know It
10pm Primetime Live

Fridays
8pm Eight Simple Rules
8:30 Savages
9pm Hope and Faith
9:30 Less Than Perfect
10pm 20/20

Saturdays
8pm Wonderful World of Disney

Sundays
7pm America’s Funniest Home Videos
8pm Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
9pm Desperate Housewives/Alias
10pm The Practice: Fleet Street

NEW SHOWS

The Benefactor – Wasn’t this an episode of “The Simpsons” where Grandpa had to figure out what to do with money he was left by a dead friend? Here, we’ve replaced Grandpa Simpson with a millionaire. But he still has to decide which of the applicants most deserves his money. This is another entry in the long line of “Reality” shows. Yawn.

Rodney – It’s a male version of “Roseanne” with a stand up comic named Rodney Carrington. I have no idea who he is and couldn’t care less.

Lost – J.J. Abrams, creator of “Alias” and “Felicity” brings us what sounds like the most interesting new show on any network in years. Its “Castaway” meets “Survivor” as 48 people try to stay alive on an island after a deadly plane crash. The cast includes Terry O’Quinn, Dominic Monoghan and Daniel Dae Kim among others.

Wife Swap – Apparently this “reality” show is a hit in the U.K. where stuff like this goes on in the open. What? You mean it’s not quite as dirty as it sounds? You mean there’s no sex? It’s just cleaning and shopping that the wives do for other families? How boring. What’s the point?

Life As We Know It – This hour long drama is about three teenage boys growing up and facing the world. It sounds like it’s on the wrong network, but there was no room on The WB. However, it is from some of the team behind “Freaks & Geeks” so there might be something here.

Savages – Keith Carradine stars as Mel Gibson. No kidding. It’s based on Gibson’s experiences raising a brood of boys. Look for lots Holocaust denial, anti-Semitism and religious preaching to pass as humor. As the lyrics to “The Flintstones” go “you’ll have a gay old time”. Oh…wait…no you won’t…I forgot Gibson’s a homophobe too. So look for gay stereotypes abound. Gibson’s trying to put the G-d back in TGIF on ABC. Okay…I joke…but it sounds about as interesting as having a colonoscopy. And Keith Carradine’s a better actor than this. He was the best thing on “Deadwood” until they killed him off (they had to…Wild Bill got shot in the town of Deadwood in real life).

Desperate Housewives – This prime time soap opera gives us all the juicy bits from the point of view of a deceased suburban housewife (played by “Twin Peaks” Sheryl Lee). It actually sounds interesting. Also stars Marcia Cross, Felicity Huffman and Teri Hatcher.

The Practice: Fleet Street – Ummm…it’s the spin-off we pretty much saw in the last half of “The Practice” starring James Spader, William Shatner, Rhona Mitra and Lake Bell. With any luck Rebecca DeMornay will appear every so often as the slinky, sexual and despicable Hannah. I’d also like to see law firm of Crane, Poole & Schmidt subsume the newly formed Berlutti and Pescatore as the “cast” of that “show” would be just as much fun.

MID-SEASON REPLACEMENTS
Gray’s Anatomy – Patrick Dempsey and Katherine Heigl star in this hour long medical drama. It’s “Scrubs” with twice the length and half the laughs.

Eyes – Tim Daly heads up a Private Investigation firm. What’s the twist to this oft used scenario? It stars Tim Daly. Hey…he’s likeable enough I’ll give it a shot.

Blind Justice – Ron Eldard stars as a cop blinded in the line of duty who continues working on the job no one wants him on. Kind of like series creator Steven Bochco.

Well, that’s it for ABCDisney (hey…they should change the name). Next up is The WB and FOX.

Until then…be seeing you.

Spleenless Joel

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