Every six months or so, I have an appointment with my dentist for a cleaning. I always go because I know I should, even though it will be painful to an extent.
That's pretty much how I felt about seeing "Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith" when the opportunity presented itself.
So avast ye maties...thar be spoilers ahead (that's for all you pirates watching the film on DVD from the copy floating around online).
First, this is not the worst of the prequel trilogy...but I'm not sure it's the best either. I had many problems with this movie and quite honestly don't understand some of the gushing that's going on about how great it is (and the reaction I've gotten from some people to my reaction reads like a political discussion between Republicrats and Demicans where they're "right" and I'm "wrong"...so I'm going to say my peace and be done with it for a while).
This is easily the busiest film ever made...and that's just the start of a myriad of problems it contains. Lucas has filled each and every frame with so much background minutia that it's hard to pay attention to certain things. Now, maybe he did it on purpose so you'd be watching all the ships zip by the window as Anakin and Padme have yet another boring, stilted, cliched conversation about how much they love each other and how confused they are about their current situations. Maybe it was Lucas' way of endorsing the powerful aspect of filmmaking in that it should be a visual medium (except he forgot that it should visually be telling a story as well). Maybe he's just a lazy and easily distracted filmmaker. I vote for the latter.
The film is boring for a good chunk and then it gets silly for a while before actually coming up with one of the most brilliant and poignant scenes in the prequel trilogy (the killing of all the Jedi...who as powerful as they seem to be are too stupid to really notice what's going to happen) before descneding back to boring and ending with some of the funniest shit ever put in a "Star Wars" film. Between the "excuse" for Padme's death and the "creation" of what I'm going to call Short Vader.
As far as our young lovers are concerned...together they've had three movies to really develop a relationship and have yet to do so by the time they're ready to make their exits. What's barely there is strung together by weak dialog and exposition at best. This should have been the centerpiece of this trilogy and it got such short shrift as to make me long for the whole Trinity/Neo love story of "The Matrix". Lucas should have gone back and watched the original trilogy to get a sense of how to develop a relationship (but of course, since he didn't actually write the scripts for "Empire" and "Jedi" he really would have no idea how to write for Han & Leia...can you imagine what that would have been like if he had...ugh...Han would have had a whole speech as he descends into the carbonite freezing chamber instead of the perfectly simple "I know" in response to leia's "I love you.").
When Padme finally expires, we have plenty of possible reasons for her death...but the one we are given is so stupid it's laughable. She could have died from asphyxiation or childbirth (or ebola...anything...just give us a real reason)...but apparently she was medically fine and just lost the will to live (I'd suggest she must have lost it around the same time as Lucas lost his ability to write...but I'm beginning to think he never had one).
As for Anakin...well...we know where Luke gets his whiney side from that was so distinct in Episode IV (but thankfully he grew out of it...see...he had "real" writers who knew how to develop character over the course of the original trilogy...I'm beginning to think someone else actually wrote Episode IV at this point). We're expected to believe that this whiney, easily manipulated and impulsive punk is going to become the greatest screen villain of all time? I don't think so. On top of that, he's much shorter looking than he will appear in the next three films (or the first three films...depending on which way you count). If they're rebuilding him, couldn't they have given him leg extensions?
Christopher Lee should be happy that Lucas, unlike Peter Jackson, gave him an onscreen death...of course he should be pissed that it happens about 10 minutes in (after like 2 minutes of screen time). Leave it to Lucas to take his more interesting and well written characters and get rid of them much too soon. This film needed more Count Dooku...especially once Palpatine's finally revealed to be manipulating everything from behind the scenes. Dooku could have been a great addition to a three-way battle once he realzied he was being manipulated just like everyone else.
Speaking of Palpatine...what was easily the best part of all three films quickly becomes the silliest once the revelation is made (and anyone who's surprised by this should just stop watching movies...you're too stupid to deserve to watch movies). His behind the scenes manipulation of both sides was a bit too hidden at times (exactly what he's doing and the reasons for it need too much discussion and explanation), but it was easily the best part...until his change. Once that happens, he's cackling more than Jack Nicholson's Joker and wheezing more than Vader himself. A plausible and better explanation for the difference between Palpatine's look in this trilogy and his look in the previous one would have been the ravages of time and use of the Dark Side of the Force. To have it all happen at once because of the latter is just silly (was he not using the Force elsewhere before that moment).
The action scenes are workman-like as far as I'm concerned. Nothing is really too exciting because Lucas has developed a case of ADD. He cuts into things very quickly and from bad angles. It's annoying. He couldn't let the fights play out as they did in Episode I? The Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Darth Maul fight remains the highlight of the prequel trilogy. The rest of the fights in this new film are either too much like previous fights (the Anakin/Dooku fight was too much like the Luke/Vader fight in "Jedi" and the Anakin/Obi-Wan fight felt like the one from "Empire"). The battles with Palpatine were just bad and videogame-like (and did he not have any money to teach Ian McDiarmid how to hold a sword and not look silly...I mean...I can forgive the silly looking effect that is obviously one actor's head on another guy's body because an old man can't really flip around like that, but make it look convincing when you go in for a closeup).
The more I think about it, even with more Jar Jar (he makes a few silent background appearances in the new film), I think I like "The Phantom Menace" better. It at least has the excuse of being "the first". It has a lot to set the stage for and showed that there may be some surprises down the road (of course, there weren't). There are a few good action scenes that don't play as much like video game stages (I'm thinking the above mentioned sabre duel and the pod race)...and we weren't "burdened" with the "actor" known as Hayden Christensen...or is it Christian Haydensen...or something else entirely...I don't care...I'm too lazy to look up the correct way on the IMDB and he sucks anyway.
So...now we have a complete series and the question become how to watch it. There's the obvious order of:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
but quite honestly I think watching the prequels will ruin the surprises and foundations of the original trilogy. Watched in order anyone getting to "Empire" will now exactly what Yoda means when he tells Obi-Wan "No, there is another" (and did Ben coveniently forget Luke has a sister), you'll be instantly creeped out by the possibility of a Luke/Leia romance because you know their siblings from the start and you'll marvel at how the Empire was able to build a second Death Star in four years when the first one took them 18.
Then there's this interesting theory I came across somewhere on the internet...perhaps the best way to watch the entire saga is in the following order:
4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 6
By setting the earlier chapters as flashbacks just as the rebellion enters its darkest days (at the end of The Empire Strikes Back) we can temper the awfulness of the ending of the whole story (Return of the Jedi) by enduring the awfulness of The Phantom Menace, and Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith.
I will applaud Lucas for trying to make this the story of someone we like who turns into someone we hate (or love to hate)...but he pretty much botched it at every turn. He should have taken a look at his good friend Francis Ford Coppola's "The Godfather Trilogy"...even with a weak third part, he knew how to handle exactly what Lucas was trying to and did it so much better.
As for me...and my son...when he's old enough to watch "Star Wars" he will see them how I saw them...and then we'll talk about the possibility of him seeing the prequels AFTER the original trilogy.
I think I'm gonna go watch the "Clone Wars" cartoon on DVD again. It's everything the prequels should have been.
Be seeing you.
Friday, May 27, 2005
Thursday, May 19, 2005
FOX: Forwards and Backwards 2005
Before we get into FOX's new lineup, I'd like to mention two things...
First...Who's portrayal took a 3rd string comic villain that hadn't been seen in years and turned him into an A list fictional character??? I'd like to mention the passing of Frank Gorshin...while best known as The Riddler on "Batman", he was actually a very versatile impressionist and a very talented actor. His last appearance is apparently on the season finale of "CSI"(may have to break my boycott early just to check him out one last time). He will be missed.
Second...UPN's schedule is not really something I care much about. They're moving "Veronica Mars" to Wednesdays at 9pm which puts it up against "Criminal Minds" on CBS, "Head Cases" on FOX, "Lost" on ABC and "E-Ring" on NBC...meaning this is the time slot where every DVR and VCR in the house will be active trying to catch it all (well...I'm sure "E-Ring" and "Head Cases" won't last on my watch too long).
The rest of UPN's lineup is the same with the addition of a few new comedies (including one made by Chris Rock) and the moving of wrestling to Fridays where it'll be less embarassing.
Now...on to FOX's lineups...
Last May, FOX announced a three-pronged schedule for the 2004-2005 Season. It essentially started in June and ran through May with shows being jockeyed in and out over the course of the season. This year, we got a two-pronged schedule with the same concept. Although there are a few new shows starting this June that aren't part of this schedule, I'll be discussing them anyway...
On to cancelled shows:
There were three shows announced by FOX last year that never actually made it to the small screen...Athens, The Partner and Related by Family...lucky for us...I won't bother reminding you what they were about (you can find last year's post now on the website).
North Shore -- 1 Season/20 Episodes -- Didn't see it. Oh well. Too late now.
The Complex: Malibu -- 1 Season/8 Episodes -- Remember this? Me neither.
The Rebel Billionaire -- 1 Season/11 Episodes -- Sir Richard Branson tries to trump Trump and fails miserably.
Quintuplets -- 1 Season/22 Episodes -- Of all the shows, I'll miss this one the most. Andy Richter will someday have a successful show of his own that lasts for a while.
Method & Red -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/5 Unaired -- Caught one episode...didn't find it funny...apparently neither did anyone else.
The Next Great Champ -- 1 Season/10 Episodes -- Cause you can't see enough amateur boxing on TV.
The Jury -- 1 Season/10 Episodes -- It was what "Law & Order: Trial By Jury" should have been...but they're both gone and we miss out on something (not sure what).
Tru Calling -- 2 Seasons/26 Episodes/1 Unaired -- That's what Eliza Dushku gets for not giving fans a "Faith the Vampire Slayer" series...tossed around the schedule and cancelled before your final episode can air (add in a full second season order that was scaled back twice to become 6).
Life On A Stick -- 1 Season/Anywhere between 8 and 11 episodes/3 to 6 Unaired -- I'm not sure how many episodes were made of this quirky and bizarre show, but I hope FOX at least burns off the unaired ones.
Jonny Zero -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/5 Unaired -- The title reminded me too much of "Johnny Bago" from several years ago, so I didn't bother watching. Is that why no one else did either?
Point Pleasant -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/5 Unaired -- Oooohhhh....spooky...there's still 5 episodes of this crap laying around somewhere.
The Casino -- 1 Season/13 Episodes -- It's odd that FOX couldn't do more episodes of something that seems to have taken on a life of its own on Discovery & Travel.
Kelsey Grammar Presents: The Sketch Show -- 1 Season/6 Episodes/2 Unaired -- Apparently this may still be airing as someone's said something about the former Frasier star playing Beast in the next "X-Men" movie...that's a sketch for the show and not a real piece of news, right?
Oliver Beene -- 2 Seasons/24 Episodes/2 Unaired -- Remember this one? I had to really reach back to remember I think I may have actually seen most of the episodes that aired. I must get a life.
The Swan -- 2 Seasons/19 Episodes -- Apparently, there is a G-d...it just took him a while (19 episodes) to notice what we were doing before decreeing this disgusting waste of humanity get cancelled.
My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss -- 1 Season/10 Episodes/5 Unaired -- If it had been about Rupert Murdoch instead of a chimp it may have done better...or maybe it was about Murdoch anyway.
Who's Your Daddy -- 1 Season/?? Episodes/?? Unaired -- Only 1 episode of this reality series that had many adoption advocates joinging the NRA and attempting to gun down FOX executives ever aired. We should all be thankful that it didn't get any further...that's what soap operas are for.
Returning Shows:
Arrested Development -- 3rd Season -- FOX was smart to bring this GREAT show back for a third season...if you're not watching this...well...I've already used that threat about people not watching "Lost"...you should be watching this...let's hope Fox Home Video gets season 2 on DVD before season 3 starts to catch everyone up to speed. And now that its on Monday nights, you have no excuse...there's nothing else on.
House -- 2nd Season -- I just started watching this show...it was in a tough slot for us, but the one or two episodes I did catch I liked...so we'll catch up this summer (when we have nothing to do but change diapers).
That 70s Show -- 8th Season -- It looked like Bret Harrison of "Grounded For Life" was going to replace the departing Topher Grace...but Harrison's got his own new show starting mid-season (see "The Loop" below)...so I guess this aging comedy will just come back with whoever's left. Once upon a time it was fresh and smart and original...now it's just stale and boring...kind of like the 1970s.
Stacked -- 2nd Season -- While it's funny, I'd have prefered to see "Life On A Stick" or "Quintuplets" come back.
The OC -- 3rd Season -- Don't watch it, but it's nice to know George Lucas isn't beyond pimping his products on network TV shows that his kids like.
The Bernie Mac Show -- 5th Season -- Wow...a short 4th season that was barely funny actually led to a 5th season...I hope it improves.
Malcolm In The Middle -- 7th Season -- After "Arrested Development" this is the funniest show on TV. Hands down. It has been consistently funny since the first episode of the first season...something that hasn't been done since the first nine seasons of "Frasier". I hope they can keep it up (although the move to Fridays may spell the end for the show).
Cops -- 18th Season -- Come on everyone...sing a long...Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
America's Most Wanted -- 19th Season -- Wow...and yet we still have crime.
King Of The Hill -- 10th Season -- This show, which I still love dearly, easily gets the first prize for "Coach" award (as in..."this is still on TV???")
The Simpsons -- 17th Season -- Okay...this is still my favorite show of all time, but even I can be critical of it when it's bad...the 15th season was bad...all over the place, silly, pointless bad...this last season was an improvement...but after this many years the writers are bound to run out of steam for a string of episodes. Even when it's bad, there's still plenty to quote though.
Family Guy -- 4th or 5th Season -- With FOX's new year round scheduling, the concept of seasons kind of goes out the window. New episodes of what is obviously the 4th Season just started...but we don't know when they'll end (same with "American Dad")...so that's why I've got my odd listing...more importantly...this show is still hysterically funny and very repeatable when it comes to watching episodes.
American Dad -- 1st or 2nd Season -- Unfortunately, this show isn't as funny as the other animated shows on FOX...but it's not "Fish Police" either...and it is growing on me...it's hit or miss at best...but I'm sure they'll find their stride here. It took "Family Guy" a while to find its sride.
American Idol -- 5th Season -- Come talk to me when the show starts trotting out good musicians and isn't destroying the concept of music as an art form.
New Shows:
Kitchen Confidential -- this sitcom based on the real life book by chef Anthony Bourdain is set in a restaurant and stars Bradley Cooper, Nicholas Brendon and John F. Daley. Could be good. I'll watch for a bit to see if it hooks me.
Prison Break This has the most intriguing premise, as like "Lost", I don't see how from the description it will sustain more than a season...but good luck trying...I'll watch. A man purposely robs a bank to get thrown in jail so he can help break his brother, who's on death row, out of prison with the use of the prison blueprints he has hold of. Dominic Purcell (of "John Doe"), Peter Stormare and Stacy Keach star.
Bones -- Emily Deschannel and David Boreanaz star in this procedural drama about a forensic anthropologist who assits law enforcement in solving crimes. The cast gets me to watch what's become a rather boring premise.
Head Cases -- Chris O'Donnell, Adam Goldberg and Rachel Leigh Cook star in this "dramady" about a lawyer who tries to rebuild his life after a nervous breakdown. Again, the cast gets a shot in spite of the premise.
Reunion -- This unique show follows the lives of a group of friends from high school graduation to their 20th Reunion. The timeline is apparently all over the prlace but mostly moves forward after starting at the funeral of one of them. Sounds very intriguing. It gets a few episodes from me.
The Gate/Deviant Behavior -- Depending on what you read they're not sure of the title...but it's a procedural drama. Yawn...but it does have Chi McBride in it.
The War At Home -- Look a sitcom about a disfunctional family. We haven't seen that in a while. Michael Rapaport and Anita Barone star.
The Loop -- Bret Harrison stars as the youngest executive of a company trying to set his priorities in life. Eric Christian Olsen, Mimi Rogers and Philip Baker Hall also star. Meh.
The Inside -- Rachel Nichols stars in this procedural drama about FBI agents who track serial killers. That would be a yawn if it weren't from the minds behind "Wonderfalls" and "Angel". I'm ready. Premieres June 8.
Hell's Kitchen -- didn't anyone at FOX watch "The Restaurant" on NBC? Premieres May 30.
The Princes Of Malibu -- Bruce Jenner's sons try and replicate what Paris & Nicole have done...they may as well try invading a country as well...it'd be just as entertaining with less casualties...what's left of American dignity should go up in flames with this one. Premieres July 10
So You Think You Can Dance -- It starts July 20 and is basically "American Idol" with dancers. Blah.
"Mid-Season" Replacements:
Nanny 911 -- 2nd Season -- If "Supernanny" is like Batman, then this must be the Commissioner Gordon of Nannies...sorry...I got nothing to say about this show. It just takes up space.
Trading Spouses -- 2nd Season -- Again...it'd be better if it was the porn the title suggests. It also just takes up space.
Freebirds -- It's about young people trying to figure out life after college. There's a novel idea for a sitcom.
The Simple Life -- 4th Season -- Okay folks...you want to know why every country on the planet HATES the U.S.? It's not our foreign policy...it's not our arrogant ways...it's not even jealousy of our freedoms...it's the fact that we have elevated the vapid bitch known as Paris Hilton into an uber-celebrity and worship at her alter. Until we rectify this issue we'll continue to be the scorn of everyone everywhere...and deservedly so.
Renovate My Family -- 2nd Season -- It's a step above "The Swan"...maybe they should just work on getting the Hilton sisters real lives?
Well...that's next fall...I'll be back in a few days with a breakdown of what I'm hoping to do about it (Malcolm...my son, not the TV series...may prevent it from becoming a reality since our lives our going to CHANGE FOREVER -- sorry...everytime someone tells me that I tend to equate it to an arm falling off...it's gotten a bit meaningless to us...but more on that as well in a few days).
I'll also give you a run down of summer shows and cable shows premiering and returning.
Be seeing you.
First...Who's portrayal took a 3rd string comic villain that hadn't been seen in years and turned him into an A list fictional character??? I'd like to mention the passing of Frank Gorshin...while best known as The Riddler on "Batman", he was actually a very versatile impressionist and a very talented actor. His last appearance is apparently on the season finale of "CSI"(may have to break my boycott early just to check him out one last time). He will be missed.
Second...UPN's schedule is not really something I care much about. They're moving "Veronica Mars" to Wednesdays at 9pm which puts it up against "Criminal Minds" on CBS, "Head Cases" on FOX, "Lost" on ABC and "E-Ring" on NBC...meaning this is the time slot where every DVR and VCR in the house will be active trying to catch it all (well...I'm sure "E-Ring" and "Head Cases" won't last on my watch too long).
The rest of UPN's lineup is the same with the addition of a few new comedies (including one made by Chris Rock) and the moving of wrestling to Fridays where it'll be less embarassing.
Now...on to FOX's lineups...
Last May, FOX announced a three-pronged schedule for the 2004-2005 Season. It essentially started in June and ran through May with shows being jockeyed in and out over the course of the season. This year, we got a two-pronged schedule with the same concept. Although there are a few new shows starting this June that aren't part of this schedule, I'll be discussing them anyway...
On to cancelled shows:
There were three shows announced by FOX last year that never actually made it to the small screen...Athens, The Partner and Related by Family...lucky for us...I won't bother reminding you what they were about (you can find last year's post now on the website).
North Shore -- 1 Season/20 Episodes -- Didn't see it. Oh well. Too late now.
The Complex: Malibu -- 1 Season/8 Episodes -- Remember this? Me neither.
The Rebel Billionaire -- 1 Season/11 Episodes -- Sir Richard Branson tries to trump Trump and fails miserably.
Quintuplets -- 1 Season/22 Episodes -- Of all the shows, I'll miss this one the most. Andy Richter will someday have a successful show of his own that lasts for a while.
Method & Red -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/5 Unaired -- Caught one episode...didn't find it funny...apparently neither did anyone else.
The Next Great Champ -- 1 Season/10 Episodes -- Cause you can't see enough amateur boxing on TV.
The Jury -- 1 Season/10 Episodes -- It was what "Law & Order: Trial By Jury" should have been...but they're both gone and we miss out on something (not sure what).
Tru Calling -- 2 Seasons/26 Episodes/1 Unaired -- That's what Eliza Dushku gets for not giving fans a "Faith the Vampire Slayer" series...tossed around the schedule and cancelled before your final episode can air (add in a full second season order that was scaled back twice to become 6).
Life On A Stick -- 1 Season/Anywhere between 8 and 11 episodes/3 to 6 Unaired -- I'm not sure how many episodes were made of this quirky and bizarre show, but I hope FOX at least burns off the unaired ones.
Jonny Zero -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/5 Unaired -- The title reminded me too much of "Johnny Bago" from several years ago, so I didn't bother watching. Is that why no one else did either?
Point Pleasant -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/5 Unaired -- Oooohhhh....spooky...there's still 5 episodes of this crap laying around somewhere.
The Casino -- 1 Season/13 Episodes -- It's odd that FOX couldn't do more episodes of something that seems to have taken on a life of its own on Discovery & Travel.
Kelsey Grammar Presents: The Sketch Show -- 1 Season/6 Episodes/2 Unaired -- Apparently this may still be airing as someone's said something about the former Frasier star playing Beast in the next "X-Men" movie...that's a sketch for the show and not a real piece of news, right?
Oliver Beene -- 2 Seasons/24 Episodes/2 Unaired -- Remember this one? I had to really reach back to remember I think I may have actually seen most of the episodes that aired. I must get a life.
The Swan -- 2 Seasons/19 Episodes -- Apparently, there is a G-d...it just took him a while (19 episodes) to notice what we were doing before decreeing this disgusting waste of humanity get cancelled.
My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss -- 1 Season/10 Episodes/5 Unaired -- If it had been about Rupert Murdoch instead of a chimp it may have done better...or maybe it was about Murdoch anyway.
Who's Your Daddy -- 1 Season/?? Episodes/?? Unaired -- Only 1 episode of this reality series that had many adoption advocates joinging the NRA and attempting to gun down FOX executives ever aired. We should all be thankful that it didn't get any further...that's what soap operas are for.
Returning Shows:
Arrested Development -- 3rd Season -- FOX was smart to bring this GREAT show back for a third season...if you're not watching this...well...I've already used that threat about people not watching "Lost"...you should be watching this...let's hope Fox Home Video gets season 2 on DVD before season 3 starts to catch everyone up to speed. And now that its on Monday nights, you have no excuse...there's nothing else on.
House -- 2nd Season -- I just started watching this show...it was in a tough slot for us, but the one or two episodes I did catch I liked...so we'll catch up this summer (when we have nothing to do but change diapers).
That 70s Show -- 8th Season -- It looked like Bret Harrison of "Grounded For Life" was going to replace the departing Topher Grace...but Harrison's got his own new show starting mid-season (see "The Loop" below)...so I guess this aging comedy will just come back with whoever's left. Once upon a time it was fresh and smart and original...now it's just stale and boring...kind of like the 1970s.
Stacked -- 2nd Season -- While it's funny, I'd have prefered to see "Life On A Stick" or "Quintuplets" come back.
The OC -- 3rd Season -- Don't watch it, but it's nice to know George Lucas isn't beyond pimping his products on network TV shows that his kids like.
The Bernie Mac Show -- 5th Season -- Wow...a short 4th season that was barely funny actually led to a 5th season...I hope it improves.
Malcolm In The Middle -- 7th Season -- After "Arrested Development" this is the funniest show on TV. Hands down. It has been consistently funny since the first episode of the first season...something that hasn't been done since the first nine seasons of "Frasier". I hope they can keep it up (although the move to Fridays may spell the end for the show).
Cops -- 18th Season -- Come on everyone...sing a long...Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
America's Most Wanted -- 19th Season -- Wow...and yet we still have crime.
King Of The Hill -- 10th Season -- This show, which I still love dearly, easily gets the first prize for "Coach" award (as in..."this is still on TV???")
The Simpsons -- 17th Season -- Okay...this is still my favorite show of all time, but even I can be critical of it when it's bad...the 15th season was bad...all over the place, silly, pointless bad...this last season was an improvement...but after this many years the writers are bound to run out of steam for a string of episodes. Even when it's bad, there's still plenty to quote though.
Family Guy -- 4th or 5th Season -- With FOX's new year round scheduling, the concept of seasons kind of goes out the window. New episodes of what is obviously the 4th Season just started...but we don't know when they'll end (same with "American Dad")...so that's why I've got my odd listing...more importantly...this show is still hysterically funny and very repeatable when it comes to watching episodes.
American Dad -- 1st or 2nd Season -- Unfortunately, this show isn't as funny as the other animated shows on FOX...but it's not "Fish Police" either...and it is growing on me...it's hit or miss at best...but I'm sure they'll find their stride here. It took "Family Guy" a while to find its sride.
American Idol -- 5th Season -- Come talk to me when the show starts trotting out good musicians and isn't destroying the concept of music as an art form.
New Shows:
Kitchen Confidential -- this sitcom based on the real life book by chef Anthony Bourdain is set in a restaurant and stars Bradley Cooper, Nicholas Brendon and John F. Daley. Could be good. I'll watch for a bit to see if it hooks me.
Prison Break This has the most intriguing premise, as like "Lost", I don't see how from the description it will sustain more than a season...but good luck trying...I'll watch. A man purposely robs a bank to get thrown in jail so he can help break his brother, who's on death row, out of prison with the use of the prison blueprints he has hold of. Dominic Purcell (of "John Doe"), Peter Stormare and Stacy Keach star.
Bones -- Emily Deschannel and David Boreanaz star in this procedural drama about a forensic anthropologist who assits law enforcement in solving crimes. The cast gets me to watch what's become a rather boring premise.
Head Cases -- Chris O'Donnell, Adam Goldberg and Rachel Leigh Cook star in this "dramady" about a lawyer who tries to rebuild his life after a nervous breakdown. Again, the cast gets a shot in spite of the premise.
Reunion -- This unique show follows the lives of a group of friends from high school graduation to their 20th Reunion. The timeline is apparently all over the prlace but mostly moves forward after starting at the funeral of one of them. Sounds very intriguing. It gets a few episodes from me.
The Gate/Deviant Behavior -- Depending on what you read they're not sure of the title...but it's a procedural drama. Yawn...but it does have Chi McBride in it.
The War At Home -- Look a sitcom about a disfunctional family. We haven't seen that in a while. Michael Rapaport and Anita Barone star.
The Loop -- Bret Harrison stars as the youngest executive of a company trying to set his priorities in life. Eric Christian Olsen, Mimi Rogers and Philip Baker Hall also star. Meh.
The Inside -- Rachel Nichols stars in this procedural drama about FBI agents who track serial killers. That would be a yawn if it weren't from the minds behind "Wonderfalls" and "Angel". I'm ready. Premieres June 8.
Hell's Kitchen -- didn't anyone at FOX watch "The Restaurant" on NBC? Premieres May 30.
The Princes Of Malibu -- Bruce Jenner's sons try and replicate what Paris & Nicole have done...they may as well try invading a country as well...it'd be just as entertaining with less casualties...what's left of American dignity should go up in flames with this one. Premieres July 10
So You Think You Can Dance -- It starts July 20 and is basically "American Idol" with dancers. Blah.
"Mid-Season" Replacements:
Nanny 911 -- 2nd Season -- If "Supernanny" is like Batman, then this must be the Commissioner Gordon of Nannies...sorry...I got nothing to say about this show. It just takes up space.
Trading Spouses -- 2nd Season -- Again...it'd be better if it was the porn the title suggests. It also just takes up space.
Freebirds -- It's about young people trying to figure out life after college. There's a novel idea for a sitcom.
The Simple Life -- 4th Season -- Okay folks...you want to know why every country on the planet HATES the U.S.? It's not our foreign policy...it's not our arrogant ways...it's not even jealousy of our freedoms...it's the fact that we have elevated the vapid bitch known as Paris Hilton into an uber-celebrity and worship at her alter. Until we rectify this issue we'll continue to be the scorn of everyone everywhere...and deservedly so.
Renovate My Family -- 2nd Season -- It's a step above "The Swan"...maybe they should just work on getting the Hilton sisters real lives?
Well...that's next fall...I'll be back in a few days with a breakdown of what I'm hoping to do about it (Malcolm...my son, not the TV series...may prevent it from becoming a reality since our lives our going to CHANGE FOREVER -- sorry...everytime someone tells me that I tend to equate it to an arm falling off...it's gotten a bit meaningless to us...but more on that as well in a few days).
I'll also give you a run down of summer shows and cable shows premiering and returning.
Be seeing you.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
CBS: Forwards...
Okay...now I don't think I've even bothered dealing with CBS' new fall schedule for the last few years because I've pretty much had a boycott in place (I'm not going to rehash why here).
This year I'm actually going to comment on a few of the new shows as I may decide to finally and officially break the boycott...but I still have a few months to make that decision. I know it'll make my wife happy (she's tired of my "freaking out" every time the cable box has to be turned back on and we need to quickly flip from channel 2).
It has been five years since I've watched a CBS show...so I can't comment on shows that are not returning this upcoming season.
I also feel I can't really comment on shows that are returning this upcoming season...beyond the "CSI" franchise which I have been watching on DVD as they come out...though I haven't seen the New York version yet.
With all that in mind...here's a look at their new shows:
How I Met Your Mother -- This sitcom stars Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Josh Radnor and Jason Segel with Bob Saget doing a voice over from the future (the whole show is a flashback...like "Jack & Bobby" I suppose). It's young people in love...but the cast may make it worthwhile.
Out of Practice -- From the creators of "Frasier" comes this comedy about a family of doctors starring Henry Winkler, Stockard Channing, Paula Marshall, Christopher Gorham and Ty Burell. Could also be worthwhile.
Close To Home -- Jerry Bruckheimer brings us another legal drama. Yawn.
Criminal Minds -- Here's the reason I'd break the boycott. Mandy Patinkin's back on TV in this show about an elite FBI team that tracks serial killers. It also stars Thomas Gibson (he was Greg of "Dharma & Greg" fame).
Ghost Whisperer -- Whenever one network has a success with a show, the others will eventually try and copy it. So here's CBS' version of "Medium" starring Jennifer Love Hewitt. This would not be a reason to end my boycott (and is a good reason to keep it in place).
Threshold -- This sci-fi show is from the combined minds of people involved in "Star Trek" (the good ones), "Blade" and "Harry Potter". It boasts a cast that includes Carla Gugino, Charles S. Dutton and Brent Spiner. It's about a team that discovers a UFO in the ocean and tries to unlock its secrets. Sounds interesting...If I do break the boycott, this is on my list of things to try out.
And the mid-season replacements are:
The Unit -- The last show I watched on CBS also starred Dennis Haysbert. This one not only has him, but it also includes Robert Patrick, Soctt Foley and Amy Acker and has David Mamet as an executive producer. The description's a bit lacking (a special ops force that travels the world doing covert work), but the cast and creative team makes this a must see (or at least an "I'll give it a shot if I break the boycott").
Everything I Know About Men -- Jenna Elfman stars in a sitcom. Yawn.
And the full CBS schedule is:
Mondays 8pm King of Queens
8:30 How I Met Your Mother
9pm Two and a Half Men
9:30 Out of Practice
10pm CSI: Miami
Tuesdays
8pm NCIS
9pm The Amazing Race
10pm Close To Home
Wednesdays
8pm Still Standing
8:30 Yes Dear
9pm Criminal Minds
10pm CSI: New York
Thursdays
8pm Survivor
9pm CSI
10pm Without A Trace
Fridays
8pm Ghost Whisperer
9pm Threshold
10pm Numbers
Saturdays
8pm Saturday Crime Time
10pm 48 Hours Mystery
Sundays
7pm 60 MInutes
8pm Cold Case
9pm Movie
Tomorrow we're back with FOX and a bit about UPN (assuming they have anything worthwhile beyond "Veronica Mars" and that top secret "Star Trek" project).
Be seeing you.
This year I'm actually going to comment on a few of the new shows as I may decide to finally and officially break the boycott...but I still have a few months to make that decision. I know it'll make my wife happy (she's tired of my "freaking out" every time the cable box has to be turned back on and we need to quickly flip from channel 2).
It has been five years since I've watched a CBS show...so I can't comment on shows that are not returning this upcoming season.
I also feel I can't really comment on shows that are returning this upcoming season...beyond the "CSI" franchise which I have been watching on DVD as they come out...though I haven't seen the New York version yet.
With all that in mind...here's a look at their new shows:
How I Met Your Mother -- This sitcom stars Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Josh Radnor and Jason Segel with Bob Saget doing a voice over from the future (the whole show is a flashback...like "Jack & Bobby" I suppose). It's young people in love...but the cast may make it worthwhile.
Out of Practice -- From the creators of "Frasier" comes this comedy about a family of doctors starring Henry Winkler, Stockard Channing, Paula Marshall, Christopher Gorham and Ty Burell. Could also be worthwhile.
Close To Home -- Jerry Bruckheimer brings us another legal drama. Yawn.
Criminal Minds -- Here's the reason I'd break the boycott. Mandy Patinkin's back on TV in this show about an elite FBI team that tracks serial killers. It also stars Thomas Gibson (he was Greg of "Dharma & Greg" fame).
Ghost Whisperer -- Whenever one network has a success with a show, the others will eventually try and copy it. So here's CBS' version of "Medium" starring Jennifer Love Hewitt. This would not be a reason to end my boycott (and is a good reason to keep it in place).
Threshold -- This sci-fi show is from the combined minds of people involved in "Star Trek" (the good ones), "Blade" and "Harry Potter". It boasts a cast that includes Carla Gugino, Charles S. Dutton and Brent Spiner. It's about a team that discovers a UFO in the ocean and tries to unlock its secrets. Sounds interesting...If I do break the boycott, this is on my list of things to try out.
And the mid-season replacements are:
The Unit -- The last show I watched on CBS also starred Dennis Haysbert. This one not only has him, but it also includes Robert Patrick, Soctt Foley and Amy Acker and has David Mamet as an executive producer. The description's a bit lacking (a special ops force that travels the world doing covert work), but the cast and creative team makes this a must see (or at least an "I'll give it a shot if I break the boycott").
Everything I Know About Men -- Jenna Elfman stars in a sitcom. Yawn.
And the full CBS schedule is:
Mondays 8pm King of Queens
8:30 How I Met Your Mother
9pm Two and a Half Men
9:30 Out of Practice
10pm CSI: Miami
Tuesdays
8pm NCIS
9pm The Amazing Race
10pm Close To Home
Wednesdays
8pm Still Standing
8:30 Yes Dear
9pm Criminal Minds
10pm CSI: New York
Thursdays
8pm Survivor
9pm CSI
10pm Without A Trace
Fridays
8pm Ghost Whisperer
9pm Threshold
10pm Numbers
Saturdays
8pm Saturday Crime Time
10pm 48 Hours Mystery
Sundays
7pm 60 MInutes
8pm Cold Case
9pm Movie
Tomorrow we're back with FOX and a bit about UPN (assuming they have anything worthwhile beyond "Veronica Mars" and that top secret "Star Trek" project).
Be seeing you.
The WB: Forwards and Backwards 2005
Today's topic covers The WB and all of its shows from this past season with a look ahead to next season.
Cancelled shows:
Drew Carey's Green Screen -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/8 Unaired -- Drew Carey's last gasp at TV stardom died a quick and painless death (maybe it was painless...I didn't see any episodes).
Grounded For Life -- 5 Seasons/91 Episodes/2 Unaired -- I really liked this show and in spite of some odd handling of bizarre casting situations (2 characters disappeared from the screen at various points but were mentioned as if they were still around on a regular basis) it always brought a smile to my face and gave me something to while away the time with on Friday nights.
High School Reunion -- 3 Seasons/21 Episodes -- Ha...the show didn't even make it past junior year before flunking out.
Jack & Bobby -- 1 Season/22 Episodes -- This was a really good show. Luckily, we did get some sort of closure to this story of two brothers who would eventually go on to successful political careers. It will be missed.
The Mountain -- 1 Season/13 Episodes -- Didn't see it. Must have been a very small mountain.
Summerland -- 2 Seasons/26 Episodes/4 Unaired -- Don't watch this either, so can't comment.
Steve Harvey's Big Time Challenge -- 2 Seasons/43 Episodes -- Wow...a year with no Steve Harvey? What will The WB do?
Returning Shows:
7th Heaven -- 10th Season -- This is still on the air?
Gilmore Girls -- 6th Season -- I saw a bit of this its first year, it wasn't bad, but I haven't watched it since. Six years huh? Wow!
One Tree Hill -- 3rd Season -- Don't know. Don't care.
Smallville -- 5th Season -- Okay...coming off of an amazing 3rd Season, this show started strong and then spent most of the year spinning its wheels. Some plots were great (Lionel's supposed reformation, Chloe finding out Clark's secret, the intro of Lois Lane) while others were just abysmal (Lionel's evil side returning too quickly, the intro of Lois, Lana being possesed and the entire storyline involving Jason Teague and his mother). Add in a few "freak of the week" episodes too many and season 4 becomes the weakest of all. Luckily, some of this stuff corrected itself in the season's penultimate hour. But I have yet to see the season finale...so maybe that'll change things for the better even more.
Everwood -- 4th Season -- One of the things I liked about this show, the narration, was removed for this season. While I do miss it, it wasn't that important...it just added to the "homey" feel the show has. This season was just as wonderful as last and I'm glad its coming back. Treat Williams is one of the most underrated actors on TV today.
What I Like About You -- 4th Season -- I don't think I've ever even seen an episode.
Reba -- 5th Season -- It's cute, but it doesn't draw me on a weekly basis.
Living With Fran -- 2nd Season -- I have yet to see this. I watched all 6 years of "The Nanny" do I have to see this as well?
Charmed -- 8th Season -- This "Buffy"-ish show has now lasted longer than the show that inspired it. I haven't seen an episode in about 5 years, but I do remember enjoying it...so there must be a reason or three its still on.
Blue Collar TV -- 2nd Season -- If you watch this show, you just might be a redneck. Okay...it's BLUE collar TV and yet it's more popular in RED states...or is that correct...I can never remember which state is what color anymore. Eh...we're all living in the dark anyway does it matter?
New Shows:
Just Legal -- Jerry Bruckheimer brings us a new law show starring Don Johnson that mixes "L.A. Law" and "Doogie Howser" as we follow a 19 year old legal whiz and the law firm he's connected to.Do we really need another legal drama?
Supernatural -- Two brothers search for their missing father and encounter lots of evil supernatural forces along the way. Sounds like a weird clone of "Freakylinks" without "The Blair Witch" aspect. I'll give it a shot or three.
Related -- I think NBC did this show a number of years ago and called it "Sisters"...which would have been much more interesting had it been more like the Brian DePalma film of the same title...this sounds missable.
Twins -- Okay...this sitcom actually sounds interesting if only because it could be a train wreck of massive size. Sara Gilbert and Molly Stanton plays twins (hence the title) and their parents are Mark Linn-Baker (of "Perfect Strangers" fame) and...wait for it...Melanie Griffith???!!! Hmmm...I'll give it a shot just to see how bad this could be.
Mid Season:
Pepper Dennis -- Rebecca Romijn stars as a reporter. That's believable, no?
The Bedford Diaries -- Here's an odd show from the producers of "Oz" and "Homicide". Matthew Modine stars as a college professor teaching a class on Human Sexuality at a New York City college. We get to meet his students as we explore their lives outside of his class. How much sex can one network cram into an hour?
Misconceptions -- Jane Leeves stars as a single mother whose daughter finally decides to find out who her biological father was. It also stars French Stewart (who is just Leeves best friend and not the biological father). Hilarity ensues when the father turns out to be very opposite from the mother and the daughter really likes him. Meh.
Modern Men -- the renewal of "Jake In Progress" has already forced this show to recast the female lead (played by Wendy Malick)...so these three life-long friends will have to find a new life-coach to guide them through the different stages each one is at. At least they still have George Wendt.
So the full schedule reads as follows:
Mondays
8pm 7th Heaven
9pm Just Legal
Tuesdays
8pm Gilmore Girls
9pm Supernatural
Wednesdays
8pm One Tree Hill
9pm Related
Thursdays
8pm Smallville
9pm Everwood
Fridays
8pm Twins
8:30 What I Like About You
9pm Reba
9:30 Living With Fran
Sundays
5pm Easy View: What I Like About You
5:30 Easy View: What I Like About You
6pm Easy View: One Tree Hill
7pm Easy View: Reba
7:30 Easy View: Reba
8pm Charmed
9pm Blue Collar TV
Next up...yes...he's actually going to report on CBS even though he's still boycotting the network. Could the boycott be at an end? Will he really look at CBS' new fall lineup? Stay tuned and find out...
Be seeing you.
Cancelled shows:
Drew Carey's Green Screen -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/8 Unaired -- Drew Carey's last gasp at TV stardom died a quick and painless death (maybe it was painless...I didn't see any episodes).
Grounded For Life -- 5 Seasons/91 Episodes/2 Unaired -- I really liked this show and in spite of some odd handling of bizarre casting situations (2 characters disappeared from the screen at various points but were mentioned as if they were still around on a regular basis) it always brought a smile to my face and gave me something to while away the time with on Friday nights.
High School Reunion -- 3 Seasons/21 Episodes -- Ha...the show didn't even make it past junior year before flunking out.
Jack & Bobby -- 1 Season/22 Episodes -- This was a really good show. Luckily, we did get some sort of closure to this story of two brothers who would eventually go on to successful political careers. It will be missed.
The Mountain -- 1 Season/13 Episodes -- Didn't see it. Must have been a very small mountain.
Summerland -- 2 Seasons/26 Episodes/4 Unaired -- Don't watch this either, so can't comment.
Steve Harvey's Big Time Challenge -- 2 Seasons/43 Episodes -- Wow...a year with no Steve Harvey? What will The WB do?
Returning Shows:
7th Heaven -- 10th Season -- This is still on the air?
Gilmore Girls -- 6th Season -- I saw a bit of this its first year, it wasn't bad, but I haven't watched it since. Six years huh? Wow!
One Tree Hill -- 3rd Season -- Don't know. Don't care.
Smallville -- 5th Season -- Okay...coming off of an amazing 3rd Season, this show started strong and then spent most of the year spinning its wheels. Some plots were great (Lionel's supposed reformation, Chloe finding out Clark's secret, the intro of Lois Lane) while others were just abysmal (Lionel's evil side returning too quickly, the intro of Lois, Lana being possesed and the entire storyline involving Jason Teague and his mother). Add in a few "freak of the week" episodes too many and season 4 becomes the weakest of all. Luckily, some of this stuff corrected itself in the season's penultimate hour. But I have yet to see the season finale...so maybe that'll change things for the better even more.
Everwood -- 4th Season -- One of the things I liked about this show, the narration, was removed for this season. While I do miss it, it wasn't that important...it just added to the "homey" feel the show has. This season was just as wonderful as last and I'm glad its coming back. Treat Williams is one of the most underrated actors on TV today.
What I Like About You -- 4th Season -- I don't think I've ever even seen an episode.
Reba -- 5th Season -- It's cute, but it doesn't draw me on a weekly basis.
Living With Fran -- 2nd Season -- I have yet to see this. I watched all 6 years of "The Nanny" do I have to see this as well?
Charmed -- 8th Season -- This "Buffy"-ish show has now lasted longer than the show that inspired it. I haven't seen an episode in about 5 years, but I do remember enjoying it...so there must be a reason or three its still on.
Blue Collar TV -- 2nd Season -- If you watch this show, you just might be a redneck. Okay...it's BLUE collar TV and yet it's more popular in RED states...or is that correct...I can never remember which state is what color anymore. Eh...we're all living in the dark anyway does it matter?
New Shows:
Just Legal -- Jerry Bruckheimer brings us a new law show starring Don Johnson that mixes "L.A. Law" and "Doogie Howser" as we follow a 19 year old legal whiz and the law firm he's connected to.Do we really need another legal drama?
Supernatural -- Two brothers search for their missing father and encounter lots of evil supernatural forces along the way. Sounds like a weird clone of "Freakylinks" without "The Blair Witch" aspect. I'll give it a shot or three.
Related -- I think NBC did this show a number of years ago and called it "Sisters"...which would have been much more interesting had it been more like the Brian DePalma film of the same title...this sounds missable.
Twins -- Okay...this sitcom actually sounds interesting if only because it could be a train wreck of massive size. Sara Gilbert and Molly Stanton plays twins (hence the title) and their parents are Mark Linn-Baker (of "Perfect Strangers" fame) and...wait for it...Melanie Griffith???!!! Hmmm...I'll give it a shot just to see how bad this could be.
Mid Season:
Pepper Dennis -- Rebecca Romijn stars as a reporter. That's believable, no?
The Bedford Diaries -- Here's an odd show from the producers of "Oz" and "Homicide". Matthew Modine stars as a college professor teaching a class on Human Sexuality at a New York City college. We get to meet his students as we explore their lives outside of his class. How much sex can one network cram into an hour?
Misconceptions -- Jane Leeves stars as a single mother whose daughter finally decides to find out who her biological father was. It also stars French Stewart (who is just Leeves best friend and not the biological father). Hilarity ensues when the father turns out to be very opposite from the mother and the daughter really likes him. Meh.
Modern Men -- the renewal of "Jake In Progress" has already forced this show to recast the female lead (played by Wendy Malick)...so these three life-long friends will have to find a new life-coach to guide them through the different stages each one is at. At least they still have George Wendt.
So the full schedule reads as follows:
Mondays
8pm 7th Heaven
9pm Just Legal
Tuesdays
8pm Gilmore Girls
9pm Supernatural
Wednesdays
8pm One Tree Hill
9pm Related
Thursdays
8pm Smallville
9pm Everwood
Fridays
8pm Twins
8:30 What I Like About You
9pm Reba
9:30 Living With Fran
Sundays
5pm Easy View: What I Like About You
5:30 Easy View: What I Like About You
6pm Easy View: One Tree Hill
7pm Easy View: Reba
7:30 Easy View: Reba
8pm Charmed
9pm Blue Collar TV
Next up...yes...he's actually going to report on CBS even though he's still boycotting the network. Could the boycott be at an end? Will he really look at CBS' new fall lineup? Stay tuned and find out...
Be seeing you.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
ABC: Forwards and Backwards 2005
In Part Two we look at ABC...
Here's what ABC's getting rid of:
The Benefactor -- 1 Season/6 Episodes -- A reality show no one remembers.
Blind Justice -- 1 Season/ 13 Episodes -- I think this would have worked better if it was about a blind super hero named Daredevil.
Complete Savages -- 1 Season/19 Episodes/4 Unaired -- So Mel Gibson follows up The Passion of the Christ with this?
8 Simple Rules -- 3 Seasons/76 Episodes -- This warm and fuzzy show tried to carry on after the tragic passing of star John Ritter. Admirably they made it almost two whole seasons before running out of steam and audience.
Life As We Know It -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/2 Unaired/DVD Release -- I kinda liked this show. Don't know that I'll want to own it, but maybe rent it to see what I missed.
My Wife And Kids -- 5 Seasons/123 Episodes -- Gets the "Coach" award for being on the air for so long with so few caring.
NYPD Blue -- 12 Seasons/261 Episodes -- I don't remember the last time I even bothered watching this show. I think Jimmy Smits was still on...come to think of it, I think I stopped watching around the same episodes the DVD releases have stopped coming.
Eyes -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/8 Unaired -- Of all the shows to get cancelled this year, I'll miss this one the most. Tim Daly is a very charismatic actor I'll give a chance in anything (like Scott Bakula...the only reason I even gave "Star Trek: Enterprise" three episodes to begin with). This show was what TV should be. Fun and engaging.
Here's what's coming back:
Wife Swap -- 2nd Season -- Ugh! Maybe if it was actually the porn the title suggests it'd be more interesting.
Monday Night Football -- 37th Season -- This is the last season for this institution on ABC. Nothing lasts forever.
According To Jim -- 5th Season -- Hey look...it's going for "Coach"'s record.
Rodney -- 2nd Season -- Huh?
Boston Legal -- 2nd Season -- Thankfully back for more even with the truncated 1st season. Easily one of the funniest shows on TV.
George Lopez -- 5th Season -- Uh oh...looks like "According To Jim" has some competition.
Lost -- 2nd Season -- Easily the best show on TV. If you're not watching it, you should just take your TV back to wherever you bought it. You don't deserve to have it.
Alias -- 5th Season -- Still interesting, but starting to feel like a slowly collapsing flan. I think Garner's pregnancy will only hasten the flatness.
Primetime Live -- 17th Season -- It's "news". Does anyone care?
Supernanny -- 2nd Season -- Her super powers include super cleaning and speedy diaper changes. Her weaknesses are low ratings and poop streaks on walls.
Hope & Faith -- 3rd Season -- It's cute...but a third season? Come on.
20/20 --28th Season -- Look ma, more "news".
America's Funniest Home Videos -- 16th Season -- Wow. Who knew there was that much footage of guys getting slammed in the nuts and cats falling off of TVs? Where's PETA when you need them?
Exterme Makeover -- 3rd Season -- I think this show should be required to make over EVERY house in the US. And to do it with "real" contractors. That'd get me watching.
Desperate Housewives -- 2nd Season -- Okay...if you're not watching "Lost" you had better be watching this...
Gray's Anatomy -- 2nd Season -- I don't get it. Don't care to. Yawn.
Here are the new shows:
Commander In Chief --Geena Davis stars as the first female President of the United States. The show also stars Donald Sutherand and Kyle Secor (I guess Jake Kane won't be back for the second season of "Veronica Mars"). I'll give it a shot depending on my mood this fall.
Freddie -- Freddie Prinze + half hour sitcom = does anyone care?
Invasion -- Producer Shaun Cassidy (yes...the Hardy Boy) brings us this sci-fi show about a small town that may already be inhabited by aliens. If this is anything akin to "American Gothic" it's gonna be a good show. It gets the 3 episode trial from me.
The Night Stalker -- This updated rem,ake of the 1970s cult TV show that was the inspiration for "The X-Files" (and two of that shows writers are the producers of this one) stars Stuart Townsend as Carl Kolchak, a crime reporter who is also the FBI's number one suspect in a string of serial killings that started with his wife. That's ABC's description in a nut shell...will this be a running thread as Kolchak also investigates vampires, werewolves & witches or is this just one episode? Doesn't matter...I'll give it a shot. Hopefully it'll be as good as the original.
Hot Properties -- A sitcom about real estate agents. I'm assuming we'll have no choice but to at least give this a try (especially since we'll be stuck at home most Friday nights come the fall).
And for mid-season we get:
Jake In Progress -- 2nd Season -- Natasha & I really liked this very quirky comedy with a very likable cast (Rick Hoffman deserves an Emmy for his role as Patrick the weird David Blaine wannabe). Wasn't expecting a second season, but with the cliffhanger ending that sprung up AFTER the last episode's end credits I'm glad ABC is bringing it back.
Less Than Perfect -- 4th Season -- Every now and then I catch this show because I keep forgetting that I don't think Andy Dick's funny anymore (not since "Newsradio" ended) and I'm not sure Eric Roberts ever was. Doesn't Will Sasso have more talent than this?
Emily's Reasons Why Not -- Heather Graham gets a sitcom because she was so funny on "Scrubs". Meh...it'll get a one episode shot from me.
What About Brian -- It's the one hour dramatic version of "Jake In Progress". The single guy schtick probably isn't interesting without the guffaws. Pass.
Crumbs -- Fred Savage, Jane Curtain and William Devane star in this sitcom about a disfunctional family. That's an original idea, no? We'll see...the cast gets it a trial run from me.
The Evidence -- Because we just don't have enough cop shows on TV (the new term "Police Procedural" makes it sound like something else...it's a cop show). Stars Orlando Jones, Nicky Katt and Martin Landau...hmmm...this just got a bit interesting.
Sons & Daughters -- Hey look...another sitcom about a disfunctional family...this one's produced by Lorne Michaels and has Dee Wallace?? Is she funny? I'll never know...
The Miracle Workers -- A new reality show about doctors who heal sick people. We need more sugery on TV like I need another aneurysm. Nothing to see here...keep going...
In Justice -- Kyle MacLachlan stars in this courtroom drama about lawyers who try and get those "falsely convicted" freed from jail. Could be interesting...I'd prefer this one also had Martin Landau in it...but I'll give it a shot anyway...at least one episode.
And the full schedule:
Mondays (2005)
8pm Wife Swap
9pm Monday Night Football
Mondays (2006)
8pm The Bachelor
9pm Emily's ReasonsWhy Not
9:30 Jake In Progress
10pm What About Brian
Tuesdays
8pm According To Jim
8:30 Rodney
9pm Commander In Chief
10pm Boston Legal
Wednesdays
8pm George Lopez
8:30 Freddie
9pm Lost
10pm Invasion
Thursdays
8pm Alias
9pm The Night Stalker
10pm Primetime Live
Fridays
8pm Supernanny
9pm Hope & faith
9:30 Hot Properties
10pm 20/20
Saturdays
8pm Movies
Sundays
7pm America's Funniest Home Videos
8pm Extreme Makeover
9pm Desperate Housewives
10pm Gray's Anatomy
Next up, The WB.
Be seeing you.
Here's what ABC's getting rid of:
The Benefactor -- 1 Season/6 Episodes -- A reality show no one remembers.
Blind Justice -- 1 Season/ 13 Episodes -- I think this would have worked better if it was about a blind super hero named Daredevil.
Complete Savages -- 1 Season/19 Episodes/4 Unaired -- So Mel Gibson follows up The Passion of the Christ with this?
8 Simple Rules -- 3 Seasons/76 Episodes -- This warm and fuzzy show tried to carry on after the tragic passing of star John Ritter. Admirably they made it almost two whole seasons before running out of steam and audience.
Life As We Know It -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/2 Unaired/DVD Release -- I kinda liked this show. Don't know that I'll want to own it, but maybe rent it to see what I missed.
My Wife And Kids -- 5 Seasons/123 Episodes -- Gets the "Coach" award for being on the air for so long with so few caring.
NYPD Blue -- 12 Seasons/261 Episodes -- I don't remember the last time I even bothered watching this show. I think Jimmy Smits was still on...come to think of it, I think I stopped watching around the same episodes the DVD releases have stopped coming.
Eyes -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/8 Unaired -- Of all the shows to get cancelled this year, I'll miss this one the most. Tim Daly is a very charismatic actor I'll give a chance in anything (like Scott Bakula...the only reason I even gave "Star Trek: Enterprise" three episodes to begin with). This show was what TV should be. Fun and engaging.
Here's what's coming back:
Wife Swap -- 2nd Season -- Ugh! Maybe if it was actually the porn the title suggests it'd be more interesting.
Monday Night Football -- 37th Season -- This is the last season for this institution on ABC. Nothing lasts forever.
According To Jim -- 5th Season -- Hey look...it's going for "Coach"'s record.
Rodney -- 2nd Season -- Huh?
Boston Legal -- 2nd Season -- Thankfully back for more even with the truncated 1st season. Easily one of the funniest shows on TV.
George Lopez -- 5th Season -- Uh oh...looks like "According To Jim" has some competition.
Lost -- 2nd Season -- Easily the best show on TV. If you're not watching it, you should just take your TV back to wherever you bought it. You don't deserve to have it.
Alias -- 5th Season -- Still interesting, but starting to feel like a slowly collapsing flan. I think Garner's pregnancy will only hasten the flatness.
Primetime Live -- 17th Season -- It's "news". Does anyone care?
Supernanny -- 2nd Season -- Her super powers include super cleaning and speedy diaper changes. Her weaknesses are low ratings and poop streaks on walls.
Hope & Faith -- 3rd Season -- It's cute...but a third season? Come on.
20/20 --28th Season -- Look ma, more "news".
America's Funniest Home Videos -- 16th Season -- Wow. Who knew there was that much footage of guys getting slammed in the nuts and cats falling off of TVs? Where's PETA when you need them?
Exterme Makeover -- 3rd Season -- I think this show should be required to make over EVERY house in the US. And to do it with "real" contractors. That'd get me watching.
Desperate Housewives -- 2nd Season -- Okay...if you're not watching "Lost" you had better be watching this...
Gray's Anatomy -- 2nd Season -- I don't get it. Don't care to. Yawn.
Here are the new shows:
Commander In Chief --Geena Davis stars as the first female President of the United States. The show also stars Donald Sutherand and Kyle Secor (I guess Jake Kane won't be back for the second season of "Veronica Mars"). I'll give it a shot depending on my mood this fall.
Freddie -- Freddie Prinze + half hour sitcom = does anyone care?
Invasion -- Producer Shaun Cassidy (yes...the Hardy Boy) brings us this sci-fi show about a small town that may already be inhabited by aliens. If this is anything akin to "American Gothic" it's gonna be a good show. It gets the 3 episode trial from me.
The Night Stalker -- This updated rem,ake of the 1970s cult TV show that was the inspiration for "The X-Files" (and two of that shows writers are the producers of this one) stars Stuart Townsend as Carl Kolchak, a crime reporter who is also the FBI's number one suspect in a string of serial killings that started with his wife. That's ABC's description in a nut shell...will this be a running thread as Kolchak also investigates vampires, werewolves & witches or is this just one episode? Doesn't matter...I'll give it a shot. Hopefully it'll be as good as the original.
Hot Properties -- A sitcom about real estate agents. I'm assuming we'll have no choice but to at least give this a try (especially since we'll be stuck at home most Friday nights come the fall).
And for mid-season we get:
Jake In Progress -- 2nd Season -- Natasha & I really liked this very quirky comedy with a very likable cast (Rick Hoffman deserves an Emmy for his role as Patrick the weird David Blaine wannabe). Wasn't expecting a second season, but with the cliffhanger ending that sprung up AFTER the last episode's end credits I'm glad ABC is bringing it back.
Less Than Perfect -- 4th Season -- Every now and then I catch this show because I keep forgetting that I don't think Andy Dick's funny anymore (not since "Newsradio" ended) and I'm not sure Eric Roberts ever was. Doesn't Will Sasso have more talent than this?
Emily's Reasons Why Not -- Heather Graham gets a sitcom because she was so funny on "Scrubs". Meh...it'll get a one episode shot from me.
What About Brian -- It's the one hour dramatic version of "Jake In Progress". The single guy schtick probably isn't interesting without the guffaws. Pass.
Crumbs -- Fred Savage, Jane Curtain and William Devane star in this sitcom about a disfunctional family. That's an original idea, no? We'll see...the cast gets it a trial run from me.
The Evidence -- Because we just don't have enough cop shows on TV (the new term "Police Procedural" makes it sound like something else...it's a cop show). Stars Orlando Jones, Nicky Katt and Martin Landau...hmmm...this just got a bit interesting.
Sons & Daughters -- Hey look...another sitcom about a disfunctional family...this one's produced by Lorne Michaels and has Dee Wallace?? Is she funny? I'll never know...
The Miracle Workers -- A new reality show about doctors who heal sick people. We need more sugery on TV like I need another aneurysm. Nothing to see here...keep going...
In Justice -- Kyle MacLachlan stars in this courtroom drama about lawyers who try and get those "falsely convicted" freed from jail. Could be interesting...I'd prefer this one also had Martin Landau in it...but I'll give it a shot anyway...at least one episode.
And the full schedule:
Mondays (2005)
8pm Wife Swap
9pm Monday Night Football
Mondays (2006)
8pm The Bachelor
9pm Emily's ReasonsWhy Not
9:30 Jake In Progress
10pm What About Brian
Tuesdays
8pm According To Jim
8:30 Rodney
9pm Commander In Chief
10pm Boston Legal
Wednesdays
8pm George Lopez
8:30 Freddie
9pm Lost
10pm Invasion
Thursdays
8pm Alias
9pm The Night Stalker
10pm Primetime Live
Fridays
8pm Supernanny
9pm Hope & faith
9:30 Hot Properties
10pm 20/20
Saturdays
8pm Movies
Sundays
7pm America's Funniest Home Videos
8pm Extreme Makeover
9pm Desperate Housewives
10pm Gray's Anatomy
Next up, The WB.
Be seeing you.
Monday, May 16, 2005
NBC: Forwards and Backwards 2005
This week we start the annual look at the various networks as they announce their new fall schedules. We look at the season just ending as well as what's coming up next season. First up...
So NBC's new fall lineup has some strange suprises...but first a look at what's not returning at all.
American Dreams -- 3 Seasons/61 Episodes -- Surprised it lasted as long as it did.
Committed -- 1 Season/13 Episodes -- The nice part was this kooky comedy had some closure in case it didn't come back. Maybe they knew something.
Father of the Pride -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/2 Unaired/DVD release -- Ugh...this crappy, bizarre and tasteless piece of animated tripe gets a DVD release??
Hawaii -- 1 Season/8 Episodes/1 Unaired -- Didn't watch. Can't comment (well...could comment, but won't).
Last Comic Standing -- 3 Seasons/34 Episodes -- These stand ups weren't funny and most of them weren't exactly "fresh" either.
Law & Order: Trial By Jury -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/1 Unaired -- It's too bad this one didn't last. Bebe Newirth will find other work, I'm sure.
LAX -- 1 Season/13 Episodes -- See my comments on Hawaii.
Medical Investigation -- 1 Season/20 Episodes -- This got the three episode tryout. Yawn. I don't even remember why I didn't like it.
Revelations -- 1 Season/6 Episodes -- Missed this (only in the "didn't get to view it" mode), but regardless of NBC calling it a "mini-series" had it done well, it would be back. It will be getting a DVD release.
Third Watch -- 6 Seasons/132 Episodes -- This was on for that long? It's like "Wings" or "Coach" for the hour long dramas.
Here are the old shows that are returning:
The West Wing -- Starts 7th Season by moving to Sundays at 8pm. I still won't watch. It's not as funny as the real life version (does anyone else miss "That's My Bush").
Law & Order: Criminal Intent -- 5th Season sees Chris Noth return as he alternates with Vincent D'Onofrio. The best of the series should get some re-energizing with this new format.
Crossing Jordan -- 5th Season -- I vaguely remember watching a few episodes of this in its first season. I think its well on its way to becoming another "Third Watch"
Las Vegas -- 3rd Season -- Have yet to see an episode. My parents like it and its got James Caan...take that for what it's worth.
Medium -- 2nd Season -- TV always feels a bit brighter when there's a Glenn Gordon Carron show on the air. It's been too long.
The Biggest Loser -- 2nd Season -- a reality show to both humiliate and inspire. Wait...aren't they all like that?
The Office -- 2nd Season -- Ugh...why did this get a second season? By the time the last episode of season 1 ended I was praying it wouldn't be back. With "Scrubs" now returning mid-season, I won't be compelled to keep the TV on and wind up watching this misfire.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit -- 7th Season -- Isn't it time for the leads to leave this show?
Law & Order -- 16th Season -- With that many years and three spin-offs under its belt, is there really any new stories they can tell?
Joey -- 2nd Season -- It's still funnier than the last few seasons of "Friends"...but that isn't saying much. We need to see more of his agent.
Will & Grace -- 8th Season -- The show is still dominated by guest stars and the secondary characters. They may appear in every episode, but Will & Grace became boring oh so long ago. Someone put them out of our misery.
The Apprentice -- 4th Run -- The only reality show I enjoy watching. Not sure why as it lost its novelty after the first run.
ER -- 12th Season -- I still stand by my pick of "Chicago Hope" as the doctor drama to watch 12 years ago. Is there anyone left from the start now?
Dateline -- 14th Season -- It's only on two days a week now (Sunday and Friday) so be thankful for small favors. Yawn. More news...like we don't get enough?
The new shows are:
Fathom -- This sci-fi show (at least that's what I'm gathering) stars Lake Bell (formerly of "Boston Legal") and is about a group of scientists who encounter some new sea creatures. Boy is that vague. It'll get the 3 episode trial from me.
My Name Is Earl -- Jason Lee stars in this sitcom about a man who has a life changing experience after winning the lottery. It's the star that gets this the 3 episode trial from me.
The Apprentice: Martha Stewart -- If you can't tell what it is by the title...isn't it great that we live in a country that treats its convicted criminals the way we do...well...the rich ones at least...I expect by mid-season we'll have a third version "The Apprentice: Enron" all set to go. I'll be passing.
E-Ring -- Dennis Hopper and Benjamin Bratt star in this Jerry Bruckheimer & Taylor Hackford produced show about the goings on inside The Pentagon. It'll be loud and flashy...haven't figured out what I plan on doing yet. It may or may not get the three episode test from me.
Three Wishes -- Because we don't have enough "Reality TV" or Amy Grant, someone decided to put the two together as the musician travels to small towns to grant people wishes. If I ask nicely and wish for crap like this to go away will she come to Stamford?
Inconceivable -- With "ER", "House" and "Gray's Anatomy" doing well it was only a matter of time before we got yet another Medical Drama. This one's set in a fertility clinic. I'll pass.
The Mid Season Replacements are:
Scrubs -- 5th Season -- Why this show got relegated to mid-season is beyond me. Luckily, we're now getting DVD releases of the early seasons to keep us warm and fuzzy.
Fear Factor -- 6th Season -- So that's how many insects and testicles one nation of TV viewers can stomach?
Four Kings -- Seth Green stars in this sitcom from the creators of "Will & Grace" about four lifelong friends who wind up moving in together. That sounds original, doesn't it? The star is what gets it a trial run from me whenever this airs (I'll guess soon after "The Office" finally tanks).
Thick and Thin -- Jessica Capshaw stars in this sitcom about a former fat woman trying to adapt to life as a skinny girl...while she's got a powerhouse supporting cast (Martin MUll, Sharon Gless), this just sounds like a bad idea all over.
The Final Schedule:
Mondays
8pm Fathom
9pm Las Vegas
10pm Medium
Tuesdays
8pm The Biggest Loser
9pm My Name Is Earl
9:30 The Office
10pm Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Wednesdays
8pm The Apprentice: Martha Stewart
9pm E-Ring
10pm Law & Order
Thursdays
8pm Joey
8:30 Will & Grace
9pm The Apprentice
10pm ER
Fridays
8pm Three Wishes
9pm Dateline
10pm Inconceivable
Saturdays
8pm Movie
Sundays
7pm Dateline
8pm The West Wing
9pm Law & Order: Criminal Intent
10pm Crossing Jordan
Next up ABC.
Be seeing you.
So NBC's new fall lineup has some strange suprises...but first a look at what's not returning at all.
American Dreams -- 3 Seasons/61 Episodes -- Surprised it lasted as long as it did.
Committed -- 1 Season/13 Episodes -- The nice part was this kooky comedy had some closure in case it didn't come back. Maybe they knew something.
Father of the Pride -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/2 Unaired/DVD release -- Ugh...this crappy, bizarre and tasteless piece of animated tripe gets a DVD release??
Hawaii -- 1 Season/8 Episodes/1 Unaired -- Didn't watch. Can't comment (well...could comment, but won't).
Last Comic Standing -- 3 Seasons/34 Episodes -- These stand ups weren't funny and most of them weren't exactly "fresh" either.
Law & Order: Trial By Jury -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/1 Unaired -- It's too bad this one didn't last. Bebe Newirth will find other work, I'm sure.
LAX -- 1 Season/13 Episodes -- See my comments on Hawaii.
Medical Investigation -- 1 Season/20 Episodes -- This got the three episode tryout. Yawn. I don't even remember why I didn't like it.
Revelations -- 1 Season/6 Episodes -- Missed this (only in the "didn't get to view it" mode), but regardless of NBC calling it a "mini-series" had it done well, it would be back. It will be getting a DVD release.
Third Watch -- 6 Seasons/132 Episodes -- This was on for that long? It's like "Wings" or "Coach" for the hour long dramas.
Here are the old shows that are returning:
The West Wing -- Starts 7th Season by moving to Sundays at 8pm. I still won't watch. It's not as funny as the real life version (does anyone else miss "That's My Bush").
Law & Order: Criminal Intent -- 5th Season sees Chris Noth return as he alternates with Vincent D'Onofrio. The best of the series should get some re-energizing with this new format.
Crossing Jordan -- 5th Season -- I vaguely remember watching a few episodes of this in its first season. I think its well on its way to becoming another "Third Watch"
Las Vegas -- 3rd Season -- Have yet to see an episode. My parents like it and its got James Caan...take that for what it's worth.
Medium -- 2nd Season -- TV always feels a bit brighter when there's a Glenn Gordon Carron show on the air. It's been too long.
The Biggest Loser -- 2nd Season -- a reality show to both humiliate and inspire. Wait...aren't they all like that?
The Office -- 2nd Season -- Ugh...why did this get a second season? By the time the last episode of season 1 ended I was praying it wouldn't be back. With "Scrubs" now returning mid-season, I won't be compelled to keep the TV on and wind up watching this misfire.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit -- 7th Season -- Isn't it time for the leads to leave this show?
Law & Order -- 16th Season -- With that many years and three spin-offs under its belt, is there really any new stories they can tell?
Joey -- 2nd Season -- It's still funnier than the last few seasons of "Friends"...but that isn't saying much. We need to see more of his agent.
Will & Grace -- 8th Season -- The show is still dominated by guest stars and the secondary characters. They may appear in every episode, but Will & Grace became boring oh so long ago. Someone put them out of our misery.
The Apprentice -- 4th Run -- The only reality show I enjoy watching. Not sure why as it lost its novelty after the first run.
ER -- 12th Season -- I still stand by my pick of "Chicago Hope" as the doctor drama to watch 12 years ago. Is there anyone left from the start now?
Dateline -- 14th Season -- It's only on two days a week now (Sunday and Friday) so be thankful for small favors. Yawn. More news...like we don't get enough?
The new shows are:
Fathom -- This sci-fi show (at least that's what I'm gathering) stars Lake Bell (formerly of "Boston Legal") and is about a group of scientists who encounter some new sea creatures. Boy is that vague. It'll get the 3 episode trial from me.
My Name Is Earl -- Jason Lee stars in this sitcom about a man who has a life changing experience after winning the lottery. It's the star that gets this the 3 episode trial from me.
The Apprentice: Martha Stewart -- If you can't tell what it is by the title...isn't it great that we live in a country that treats its convicted criminals the way we do...well...the rich ones at least...I expect by mid-season we'll have a third version "The Apprentice: Enron" all set to go. I'll be passing.
E-Ring -- Dennis Hopper and Benjamin Bratt star in this Jerry Bruckheimer & Taylor Hackford produced show about the goings on inside The Pentagon. It'll be loud and flashy...haven't figured out what I plan on doing yet. It may or may not get the three episode test from me.
Three Wishes -- Because we don't have enough "Reality TV" or Amy Grant, someone decided to put the two together as the musician travels to small towns to grant people wishes. If I ask nicely and wish for crap like this to go away will she come to Stamford?
Inconceivable -- With "ER", "House" and "Gray's Anatomy" doing well it was only a matter of time before we got yet another Medical Drama. This one's set in a fertility clinic. I'll pass.
The Mid Season Replacements are:
Scrubs -- 5th Season -- Why this show got relegated to mid-season is beyond me. Luckily, we're now getting DVD releases of the early seasons to keep us warm and fuzzy.
Fear Factor -- 6th Season -- So that's how many insects and testicles one nation of TV viewers can stomach?
Four Kings -- Seth Green stars in this sitcom from the creators of "Will & Grace" about four lifelong friends who wind up moving in together. That sounds original, doesn't it? The star is what gets it a trial run from me whenever this airs (I'll guess soon after "The Office" finally tanks).
Thick and Thin -- Jessica Capshaw stars in this sitcom about a former fat woman trying to adapt to life as a skinny girl...while she's got a powerhouse supporting cast (Martin MUll, Sharon Gless), this just sounds like a bad idea all over.
The Final Schedule:
Mondays
8pm Fathom
9pm Las Vegas
10pm Medium
Tuesdays
8pm The Biggest Loser
9pm My Name Is Earl
9:30 The Office
10pm Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Wednesdays
8pm The Apprentice: Martha Stewart
9pm E-Ring
10pm Law & Order
Thursdays
8pm Joey
8:30 Will & Grace
9pm The Apprentice
10pm ER
Fridays
8pm Three Wishes
9pm Dateline
10pm Inconceivable
Saturdays
8pm Movie
Sundays
7pm Dateline
8pm The West Wing
9pm Law & Order: Criminal Intent
10pm Crossing Jordan
Next up ABC.
Be seeing you.
Monday, May 09, 2005
Back With A Vengeance
So...the show I'm directing in Darien opened this weekend. We had about 100 people in the audience over the three shows...but they LOVED it. I have an AMAZING cast that has done an incredible job with this very complex piece. If you're in the area between now and May 21, I highly recommend coming to see Book of Days by Lanford Wilson. Call 655-5414 for tickets.
Okay...with the shameless self-plug out of the way...
Phase One of the house reconstruction project is almost complete. In fact, the granite guys are here as I type putting in the master bathroom countertops. Monday the plumber returns to finish up stuff. Tuesday the tile guys do their final work. Then we just need to paint the room and get the shower door installed.
Meanwhile, Phase Two begins this week...with a new contractor who will be getting his stuff done before anyone arrives in June. At the same time we're repaving and leveling our driveway cause...well...it needs it...that too will be done before anyone arrives.
Have I mentioned that I now cry whenever I watch the Tom Hanks comedy The Money Pit. It's just not funny anymore after having lived through it.
But...there are things that still make me laugh...
Family Guy has returned from the graveyard of cancelled shows because of the successful reruns on Cartoon Network and the DVD sales of the first 3 seasons. Season 4 pretty much picked up where the show had left off over 3 years ago with Peter explaining that the show's been cancelled by FOX to make room for better shows. He then goes on to list these better shows and rattles off the names of every show that FOX has aired and cancelled since Family Guy left the air in February 2002. A great way to usher in new episodes. The show hasn't lost its sense of humor either. The season premiere featured Lois & Peter going on a second honeymoon and leaving "the kids" in the capable hands of Brian and Stewie. Pop culture references abound from Hitchcock films to The Passion of the Christ and all of them are funny. Can't wait to see this week's episode.
But wait...Family Guy isn't just a TV series anymore. They've got their own line of action figures (Death comes with his dog...the next series features Mayor Adam West and The Pope), a book (Stewie's Guide To World Domination) and a CD...Family Guy Live In Las Vegas. While I'd have preferred a CD containing some of the songs from the TV series, this is an amazingly funny substitute. Imagine a Rat Pack show full of fart jokes and F bombs and you'll get a pretty good idea of the material. Unchained from the shackles of Network TV Standards and Practices it's certainly not for kids. There is a clean version available...but why bother...
Done entirely in front of a "live" audience, after a funny intro by TV reporters Tom Tucker & Diane Simmons we get the whole Griffin family singing an extended version of the show's theme song. There's then a duet between Stewie and his babysitter Haylie Duff (Hillary's sister) entitled "Babysitting Is A Bum Deal". Brian then serenades us with "Dear Booze" before Patti LuPone joins Glen Quagmire for "The Q Man Loves Nobody" (yes...it's really Patti LuPone). And then we get the "showstopper" of the album. This song has not only been rattling around my head for over a week because it's so catchy, but it's been rattling around Natasha's head as well...and she's scared it may somehow become the first song Malcolm ever sings (we'll do our best to make sure that doesn't happen). "All Cartoons Are F----- D----" gives each of the family members (except Meg) and guest star Jason Alexander a chance to tell a story about a run in they had with other famous cartoon stars that paints them in a different light (we won't repeat what McGruff the Crime Dog does after 5pm when he's off duty). Brian then gives us "The Last Time I Saw Paris" before Peter & Lois sing a rather romantic yet raunchy duet called "But Then I Met You". Stewie & Brian then treat us to a medley of TV show theme songs (mostly from the 1980s). Chris explains how "Puberty's Gonna Get Me" and then Peter & Lois return for another romantic yet raunchy duet called "But I'm Yours". Brian returns again for a solo called "Slightly Out Of Tune" and then Herbert, the weird old man, sings "One Boy" (giving it the most perverted twist ever). The entire family plus Cleveland, Quagmire and Mayor Adam West finish off with "Quahog Holiday" (another catchy number).
The album's a hoot for the most part (Brian's solos are a bit blah...and Herbert's number is just creepy). There's plenty of "banter" between songs to keep things entertaining. Maybe the next album will be a collection of songs from the show.
Well...that's all for today. We'll be back sooner rather than later as things continue to calm down and settle...before everything changes again on June 19 (give or take a week or two).
Be seeing you.
Okay...with the shameless self-plug out of the way...
Phase One of the house reconstruction project is almost complete. In fact, the granite guys are here as I type putting in the master bathroom countertops. Monday the plumber returns to finish up stuff. Tuesday the tile guys do their final work. Then we just need to paint the room and get the shower door installed.
Meanwhile, Phase Two begins this week...with a new contractor who will be getting his stuff done before anyone arrives in June. At the same time we're repaving and leveling our driveway cause...well...it needs it...that too will be done before anyone arrives.
Have I mentioned that I now cry whenever I watch the Tom Hanks comedy The Money Pit. It's just not funny anymore after having lived through it.
But...there are things that still make me laugh...
Family Guy has returned from the graveyard of cancelled shows because of the successful reruns on Cartoon Network and the DVD sales of the first 3 seasons. Season 4 pretty much picked up where the show had left off over 3 years ago with Peter explaining that the show's been cancelled by FOX to make room for better shows. He then goes on to list these better shows and rattles off the names of every show that FOX has aired and cancelled since Family Guy left the air in February 2002. A great way to usher in new episodes. The show hasn't lost its sense of humor either. The season premiere featured Lois & Peter going on a second honeymoon and leaving "the kids" in the capable hands of Brian and Stewie. Pop culture references abound from Hitchcock films to The Passion of the Christ and all of them are funny. Can't wait to see this week's episode.
But wait...Family Guy isn't just a TV series anymore. They've got their own line of action figures (Death comes with his dog...the next series features Mayor Adam West and The Pope), a book (Stewie's Guide To World Domination) and a CD...Family Guy Live In Las Vegas. While I'd have preferred a CD containing some of the songs from the TV series, this is an amazingly funny substitute. Imagine a Rat Pack show full of fart jokes and F bombs and you'll get a pretty good idea of the material. Unchained from the shackles of Network TV Standards and Practices it's certainly not for kids. There is a clean version available...but why bother...
Done entirely in front of a "live" audience, after a funny intro by TV reporters Tom Tucker & Diane Simmons we get the whole Griffin family singing an extended version of the show's theme song. There's then a duet between Stewie and his babysitter Haylie Duff (Hillary's sister) entitled "Babysitting Is A Bum Deal". Brian then serenades us with "Dear Booze" before Patti LuPone joins Glen Quagmire for "The Q Man Loves Nobody" (yes...it's really Patti LuPone). And then we get the "showstopper" of the album. This song has not only been rattling around my head for over a week because it's so catchy, but it's been rattling around Natasha's head as well...and she's scared it may somehow become the first song Malcolm ever sings (we'll do our best to make sure that doesn't happen). "All Cartoons Are F----- D----" gives each of the family members (except Meg) and guest star Jason Alexander a chance to tell a story about a run in they had with other famous cartoon stars that paints them in a different light (we won't repeat what McGruff the Crime Dog does after 5pm when he's off duty). Brian then gives us "The Last Time I Saw Paris" before Peter & Lois sing a rather romantic yet raunchy duet called "But Then I Met You". Stewie & Brian then treat us to a medley of TV show theme songs (mostly from the 1980s). Chris explains how "Puberty's Gonna Get Me" and then Peter & Lois return for another romantic yet raunchy duet called "But I'm Yours". Brian returns again for a solo called "Slightly Out Of Tune" and then Herbert, the weird old man, sings "One Boy" (giving it the most perverted twist ever). The entire family plus Cleveland, Quagmire and Mayor Adam West finish off with "Quahog Holiday" (another catchy number).
The album's a hoot for the most part (Brian's solos are a bit blah...and Herbert's number is just creepy). There's plenty of "banter" between songs to keep things entertaining. Maybe the next album will be a collection of songs from the show.
Well...that's all for today. We'll be back sooner rather than later as things continue to calm down and settle...before everything changes again on June 19 (give or take a week or two).
Be seeing you.
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