2009-2010 Upfronts Part 2: ABC

Today we take a look at ABC's new fall lineup:

MONDAY
8pm Dancing with the Stars (two-hours in September)-- Hmmm...still don't care.

8pm The Bachelor (two hours in January) -- Why do we still need this?

10pm Castle -- I like Nathan Fillion. The show's been sitting on my DVR. Hope to get to it this summer. We'll go from there.

TUESDAY

8pm Shark Tank -- From the creators of "Survivor" comes this show that sounds like "The Apprentice" but with fewer contestants and more Donald Trumps. Oh...and the contestants aren't celebrities...so we're back to the earlier seasons with "real" people. Yawn.

9pm Dancing with the Stars the Results Show (September)

9pm Better off Ted (January) -- I really like this weird funny comedy from the creators of "Andy Richter Controls The Universe" and am glad to have it back. Look for a DVD/Blu Ray release this summer to catch up on what you may have missed.

9:30 Scrubs (January) -- Returns for a 9th Season. Why? With both Zach Braff & Sarah Chalke turning up as guest stars for about 6 episodes and a few other cast members not signed yet (Judy Reyes & Neil Flynn who is in a new show anyway), this show's gonna have to pull itself off life support pretty quickly. Don't know if I'll keep watching at this point.

10pm The Forgotten--Jerry Bruckheimer brings us a cop show that doesn't contain the letters "c," "s," or "i" in it. These cops try to identify victims of crimes so they don't become "forgotten". I'll pass.

WEDNESDAY
8pm Hank -- Kelsey Grammar stars as a titan of industry to suddenly finds himself out of work. Could be funny simply because of Grammar.

8:30 The Middle -- Patricia Heaton returns to TV (still paired with Kelsey Grammar in an odd way) as a mother of three in middle America. Sounds like "Roseanne". Neil Flynn (Janitor from "Scrubs") also stars, so I expect he's no longer part of that show either.

9pm Modern Family-- Ed O'Neil also returns to TV in this mockumentary about a family.

9:30 Cougar Town -- And Courtney Cox returns to TV as well as a divorced single mom getting back into the dating scene. Okay...never a big Courtney Cox fan, but since ABC's already got my attention with the other sitcoms, I'll give it a shot.

10pm Eastwick -- First it was a book, then a movie, then a musical and then a TV pilot. Now its back again as an actual TV series and aside from Rebecca Romaijn, the cast does nothing for me. I don't know that Paul Gross can step into the shoes of Daryl Van Horne as worn by Jack Nicholson (movie), Ian McShane (musical) and Jason O'Mara (failed TV pilot). But it'll get a shot from me...mainly because I do like the material and have tired of "Desperate Housewives"

THURSDAY
8pm Flash Forward -- A mysterious event causes a world-wide blackout and gives everyone a glimpse into their future. How does humanity cope? We'll see. There's enough creative talent involved behind the camera and in front for me to take a peek.

9pm Grey's Anatomy -- Returns for a 6th season. Still don't watch

10pm Private Practice-- Returns for a 3rd Season. Is Tim Daly still wasting time doing this show?

FRIDAY
8pm Supernanny -- A 5th Season? Really?

9pm Ugly Betty -- Returns for what will be its 4th and most likely last season. Fridays at 9pm? Does that show any confidence in the show anymore? I still like it for the most part.

10pm 20/20 -- Returns for its billionth season because we can't have enough news stories in this age of tweeting where this show is a dinosaur.

SATURDAY
8pm Saturday Night College Football -- anyone remember when there was actual scripted programming on Saturday nights? "Love Boat?" "Fantasy Island?" "Golden Girls?" Ah...those were the days.

SUNDAY
7pm America's Funniest Home Videos -- no matter how often you see it there's something funny and kids and animals falling down and men getting hit in the nuts (as long as its not me)

8pm Extreme Makeover: Home Edition -- Is there any other edition still around?

9pm Desperate Housewives -- If it weren't for the Scavos and Carols and Mrs. McClusky, I'd have left this show a long time ago. I may ditch it soon after the 6th Season starts if Orson doesn't kill Bree and get away with it.

10pm Brothers & Sisters -- Don't watch it, don't care. 4th Season? Really?

MIDSEASON

Deep End -- A law show with Clancy Brown, Billy Zane and Norbert Leo Butz. Those few cast members alone get me to watch an episode.

Happy Town -- The description is vague and it sounds like "Twin Peaks" with Sam Neill. I'll check it out, but it better be damn good to get me past one episode.

V -- Everyone's favorite Man Eating Lizard Aliens return in this "rethink." And since Elizabeth Mitchell (Juliet on "Lost") is a lead, we can assume she didn't survive the end of the season on her other show. Also stars Scott Wolf and Monica Baccarin (from "Firefly") as Anna who I believe is this version's Diana. I'll watch because its "V". Let's hope its more "V: The Original Mini-Series" and less "V: The TV Series." I would feel better if Kenneth Johnson were still involved or they were using J. Michael Straczynski's script from a few years ago, but at least we've got new "V".

True Beauty -- Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher do make overs for a 2nd Season.

Lost -- Coming into its 6th and final season, I'm only watching because I've invested so much time and energy and need to see it through...but its gotten a bit silly and ridiculous with all the headache inducing time travel stuff. Where's Doc Brown and his blackboard when you need it (oh...right...JJ Abrams trotted that out on "Fringe" with great effect). So here's my theory: The Island is actually the Garden of Eden and "Jacob" and the other guy (Esau?) are just re-enacting the whole Cain & Able story with the Oceanic Group, the Dharma Initiative, the Others and us poor viewers caught in the middle.

Wife Swap -- Henny Youngman returns from the dead to host...what? Oh that's not what its about? Is it porn? Or just fodder for "The Soup" at the end of each week?

Surviving Suburbia -- Bob Saget got a new sitcom and no one watched. So why is it back? Oh...maybe just this summer? OK.

Other shows ABC is still considering for Mid-Season are The Law (with Cedric the Entertainer), Married Not Dead, This Little Piggy and Inside the Box

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

Boston Legal -- 5 Seasons/101 Episodes -- The show had some great moments and when it broke the 4th wall it got really bizarre, but it had a good life and I enjoyed its entire run.

Dirty Sexy Money -- 2 Seasons/23 Episodes -- Never saw it.

Eli Stone -- 2 Seasons/26 Episodes -- Here's one of two ABC shows that I will miss. I hope the 2nd Season gets a DVD release because the 1st Season shouldn't be so lonely. Great show, if you missed it you missed something special.

Homeland Security USA -- 1 Season/3 Episodes -- I blinked. What was this about?

In the Motherhood -- 1 Season/6 Episodes -- Even my wife, who usually loves stuff like this, didn't like it.

Life on Mars -- 1 Season/17 Episodes -- This show was great up until the last 10 minutes of the final episode when they gave us a literal definition of the title and made the "mystery" silly and trite. If you didn't see it, catch it on DVD but turn it off after Sam & Annie kiss in the last episode. This way you'll go out on a high and not the low those of who watched on TV had to sit through.

Opportunity Knocks -- 1 Season/3 Episodes -- What was this about?

Pushing Daisies -- 2 Seasons/22 Episodes -- The show I will miss the most...but thankfully the whole series will be on DVD and we've got a 12 issue miniseries coming from DC Comics to continue the story (sort of -- the plot is supposedly Ned & Chuck and the guys versus zombies). And there's still talk of a big screen version (which happened for "Firefly" but we're still waiting for "Veronica Mars").

Samantha Who? -- 2 Seasons/33 Episodes -- Never saw it. Heard it was good.

The Unusuals -- 1 Season/7 Episodes -- Meant to watch it, but was busy with more important things.

Cupid -- 1 Season/7 Episodes -- The 1998 version lasted 1 Season/15 Episodes. Loved that show. Didn't catch this version. Bobby Cannavale is no Jeremy Piven. Sorry.

According to Jim -- 8 Seasons/181 Episodes -- Our long national nightmare is finally over.

Tomorrow I'll be back with NBC's fall lineup (which was announced today, but I had other things to do -- so I'll be a day behind but will have covered everyone by the end of the week).

Be seeing you.