Stephen King's The Simpsons Movie

The first Stephen King novel I read was The Shining. I was in 8th Grade at the time and had just seen the movie which had scared the shit out of me. It wouldn't be until I went back and read King's other novels that I realized how much a masterpiece the book is and how much the film is completely disconnected from it. But I was hooked and I've been reading King's work with anticipation ever since.

Whenever he published a new novel, I'd buy it and crack it open the day it was published. I fondly remember plowing through It in 2 days (and being somewhat disappointed in the ending). The last King novel I read all the way through was Black House. I skipped over Dreamcatcher (don't remember why), but came back to it in March of 2002. It became my workout book. I could only read it while I was riding the recumbent bike. I got about halfway through before April came around and I had my aneurysm. It took me 2 years to eventually pick the book up and finish it. And while I still continued picking up his new books (From a Buick 8, Everything's Eventual, The Dark Tower V, VI & VII, The Colorado Kid, Cell, Lisey's Story, Blaze, Duma Key and Just After Sunset), I didn't actually open them to read (although I did try reading Cell -- got about 50 pages in and stopped).

And then somewhere, somehow, an enthusiasm built in me for his latest novel Under the Dome. Not sure why, maybe it was because it was a mythical book that King had tried writing twice before and never finished (once under the title of The Cannibals). It arrived and I opened it and started reading. Two days later I was done.

Under the Dome concerns the town of Chester's Mill in Maine (where else). One day an invisible dome descends upon the town covering the whole thing area (exactly on its borders) and cutting it off from civilization. King paints a great portrait of what would happen if something like this existed. Moving vehicles would smash into it, the air would become still then stale and as the wind blew particles outside they would slowly collect on the surface turning the view into a murkey muddy mess.

Meanwhile, in the town society starts to fall apart. Like The Stand and The Mist before it, Under the Dome is really a look at how society can unravel at the seams when faced with unexplainable circumstances. People start falling into two categories: those that want to proactively find a way out (change) and those that want to proactively find a way to use the situation to their advantage because its a "new world order" (in actuality preserving the status quo). King's political commentary is not subtle at all. The town is run by a group of Selectmen, but it is the Second Selectman who really runs the show (and he's not happy that Obama's president).

King is still able to present us with a huge cast of characters that remain three dimensional and engaging. His writing style has always been one of accessibility that easily drags a reader in. Here, he keeps you engaged for the entire run of the novel -- even up to the somewhat disappointing ending. Let's face it, if a giant dome were to appear and seal off an entire town one day there would only be two explanations: it's man-made (meaning "the government") or its alien. I won't tell you which one King opts for, but it leads of a vague, confusing and somewhat silly resolution at the end.

All in all, Under the Dome falls on the better end of the King spectrum. It isn't The Stand, but it isn't The Tommyknockers either. Its worth a read whether you like King or not.

Meanwhile, it has inspired me to "catch up" on what I've missed. I'm probably going to start with The Dark Tower books and go back to the beginning of the series. Anyone interested in starting a book club to discuss them?

Be seeing you.

Too Many Children...

So the Sci-Fi Channel (I refuse to refer to them as SyFy because that's just plain stupid) aired a remake of "Children of the Corn", a mediocre Stephen King story from his "Night Shift" collection.

King's short story isn't the best of that collection, nor is it the worst. It does pack enough of a punch and contains King's great penchant for developed characters and visceral images.

The 1984 big screen adaptation just got a 25th Anniversary Blu Ray release, which is kind of funny for a film that was/is a big cheesy pile of crap that took the title, some characters and some "events" from King's story and fashioned something "new" (cliched). It proved the old adage that a short story doesn't have enough meat on its bones for a full length feature by going off in several different directions.

But the film developed enough of a cult following to spawn more sequels than it deserved almost a decade after the fact. The sequels had barely any connections to the original film let alone the original short story, but they obviously made some money since there's still the threat of another one looming over us all.

Stephen King had written a script for the 1984 film that was rejected by the producers at the time. The new TV version is apparently credited to both King and director Donald P. Borchers (who is also one of the producers of the 1984 film). Now, I don't know how much of this is really King (obviously he either worked on it or decided not to contest the credit), but the film is a very faithful adaptation of King's short story. Of course, that aspect now highlights both the deficiencies of King's story being made into a feature and Borchers' directing ability.

In regards to the former, we are presented with Vicky & Burt (on their way to California in the 1970s to help their marriage) who spend about 45 minutes yelling at each other after they accidentally run over a dead child. When they arrive at the next town to report the accident, they discover a strange cult of children who worship a god known as "He Who Walks Behind The Rows". We then get 30 minutes of Burt being chased through the corn fields and then 15 minutes of a silly ending complete with Vietnam flashback and gratuitous sex scene (between minors) before we reach the end of the story as King wrote it.

Any real scares are robbed of their power as Borchers shows his hand seconds before he should. The biggest "creep" factor of King's story is that you never see the kids until Vicky & Burt get to the town and even then we don't see them until Burt does some exploring and figures out that there's something odd. Here, as in the 1984 film, we see the kids right from the beginning and I think it does deflate the concept of doing a "faithful" adaptation of King's story.

This new film has also gotten a release on DVD in an uncut version with several extras. I may revisit this at some point later in life if I get bored and can find it really cheap (like $5), but for now I'm good with having seen this on Sci-Fi where the commercial interruptions kept me from leaping up and throwing a brick at my TV. This was a noble effort, but a completely missed and wasted opportunity.

The nice thing is that I'm sure this won't be the last word on this "franchise".

Be seeing you.

Testing

So I'm testing out a blogging app from my iPhone...nothing to see here unless I can get a picture posted as well.



-- What do you know...it's me and my new hat! Now let's see about posting video...

-- hmmmm...not sure that worked, but we're posting anyway.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Spider-Mouse??? And just where will Superman be coming from?

So the big shock at the start of the week was the announcement that Disney was buying Marvel Comics for $4 billion (hmmm...wasn't that a number similar to some unused funds from the government bailouts of one of the banks or something???)...

As the week has worn on, there has been lots of muscle flexing and few real answers to some major questions.

Disney did state up front in their press release that any existing deals between Marvel and other companies would be honored until they came to an end. All nice and good, but does anyone really expect Disney to sit by and let Universal Studios have the Hulk & Spidey walking around taking photos until that deal ends (and I have no idea when that is). Universal was quick to release their own statement about the Marvel characters remaining an integral part of the Orlando park's experience.

Fox also did some "damage" control by announcing a producer & writer for a previously barely mentioned 2nd reboot of "Fantastic Four" (which had been mentioned a few months ago with a reboot of "Daredevil" as well). Apparently, Fox has rights to make movies from the Marvel characters they've licensed for as long as they continue to make movies based on those characters (apparently not a problem for the X-Men franchise which has made enough money to keep chugging along, but FF makes two movies that gross $154 million and $131 million and those numbers are considered bad).

The head scratcher here is why Disney would make a deal and then have to wait for the real heavy hitters (on the movie front) to come back into the fold. Spider-Man is tied up at Sony for about another 10 years. The X-Men, Fantastic Four and Daredevil are at Fox for who knows how long. Blade is at Warner (for now). Everyone else is still in the Marvel Studios "box", but some of them are tied to distribution deals with other studios (mostly Paramount who has distribution for Iron Man, Thor, Captain America and The Avengers, but I believe that Universal still has those rights for the Hulk).

Maybe they're willing to wait on those deals and just exploit the rights to everything else they can get now (just because Spidey's at Sony doesn't mean Disney can't slap him on underwear of all shapes and sizes).

Another oddity to this deal comes on the comic book front. Disney's had a presence for years in the comic book market and owning the largest publisher of comics gives them easier access...but how does this affect the deal Disney made with Boom Studios (a much smaller comic book company) who has been publishing comic books based on various Pixar properties and The Muppets for about a year now?

This will most likely be a good deal all around at the end of the day (especially if Disney treats Marvel how they treat Pixar and keeps their hands off the creative end)...but there are plenty of questions that need answering before everything makes sense.

It will be an interesting development.

In other comic book legal news, a judge has given various rights to the heirs of Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster concerning the creation of Superman. The specifics can be found online elsewhere (and by more knowledgible people), but it seems that Warner has until 2011 to make another Superman movie before they lose the rights they have to the families. On top of that, unless they cut a separate deal with the families certain "origin" info is off limites (like all the planet Krypton related material).

I expect at the end of the day the families and DC/Warner will come to a financial arrangement to keep everything together (its not like the families would take a Superman without Lois & Lex to Marvel and restart everything from scratch -- and I don't see Warner letting go of Superman's background). But it could get more nasty before its all over since there are lawyers involved.

Anyway...be seeing you.

Taking The Train Is Easy As 1, 2, 3

I've always been a big fan of train movies. "The Cassandra Crossing", "Murder On The Orient Express," "The Train," "Runaway Train" and "The Taking Of Pelham 1, 2, 3" are all great films. The latter is especially one of my favorites.

Based on a novel, "The Taking Of Pelham 1, 2, 3" stars Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw, respectively, as a NYC MTA Police Detective and a man holding a train car of people hostage for ransom. The battle of wits between the two men as the city grinds to a halt is tense and mesmerizing. The film is a great reflection on its time and yet still stands the test of time. It is both a moment frozen in time (New York in the 1970s) and timeless.

This is probably why the film has been remade (for the second time actually since there is a 1998 TV Movie with Edward James Olmos and Vincent D'Onofrio replacing Matthau and Shaw). This time on the big screen we have Denzel Washington and John Travolta in the roles previously played by Matthau and Shaw. Of course, things have been modernized and updated for a post 9/11 New York.

Both characters get a bit more of a backstory this time (Washington's Garber is no longer a detective, he's just a dispatcher for the MTA -- well, not just a dispatcher but that's what he's doing when the film starts as he's also under investigation for taking a bribe). Gone are the colorful code names of the original foursome who hijacked the train (most likely since Quentin Tarantino used the same gimmick in "Reservoir Dogs" and most people will just assume this film was ripping that off instead of being the other way around) and a laptop with an internet connection has been added onto the train (maybe to replace the now missing/changed undercover cop, but also to give the events that "in your face" feeling we get from living in a society where we can almost be "watched" 24/7 anyway).

Washington and Travolta keep things moving with the help of screenwriter Brian Helgeland. The dialogue is sharp and crisp (though I'm convinced that Travolta's role may have been written with Samuel L. Jackson in mind since he tends to end sentences with "mother fucker" one too many times). The editing may be a bit "herky jerky" at times, but it actually fits the film nicely (as does the music score & song choices which also seem a bit jarring at first). Director Tony Scott keeps things flowing and tense throughout most of the film. It is only when we finally get off the train for the last third of the film when things start to lose steam. The ending is also not as satisfying as that of the original, but luckily these changes don't derail the whole proceedings.

If you're looking for a quality remake of a classic film that can stand on its own without "replacing" the original, you could do a lot worse than "The Taking Of Pelham 1, 2, 3." Its also a great popcorn flick to boot.

Hopefully, any success from this film will bring about a special edition DVD or Blu Ray of the original (as well as some sort of release for the 1998 TV Movie which is not available on any format including VHS). At the very least, seeing this has finally inspired me to read the damn book.

Be seeing you.

2009-2010 Upfronts Part 5: The CW

And finaly we have the upfronts for The WB...I mean UPN...I mean The CW (which has pruned most of the UPN type shows now and is mostly emulating The WB's teenage bent). I don't watch much on this network, so I don't have much to say beyond reporting what the new lineup is. You may notice there are no half hour sitcoms.

MONDAY

8pm GOSSIP GIRL-- Returns for a 3rd Season

9pm ONE TREE HILL -- Returns for a 7th Season.

TUESDAY

8pm 90210 -- Returns for a 2nd Season.

9pm MELROSE PLACE -- I guess since 90210 has been a success the return of that show's spin-off was inevitable.

WEDNESDAY

8pm AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL -- Returns for a 13th Season? Really? And a 14th? Yikes!

9pm THE BEAUTIFUL LIFE -- Its about models and stars Micha Barton. Do you need to know more? Is there more?

THURSDAY

8pm THE VAMPIRE DIARIES -- Cashing in on the whole "Twlight"/"True Blood" machine seemed inevitable. Two vampire brothers (one good, one evil) battle for one girl. Meh.

9pm SUPERNATURAL-- Returns for a 5th Season. Suppsedly a good show, but I've never watched more than 5 minutes.

FRIDAY

8pm SMALLVILLE -- Returns for a 9th Season. This is apparently the "Coach" of Comic Book Shows. Yes, we still watch...but half the time I'm not sure why. Story logic goes out the window (and that's saying a lot for a Comic Book based show). The cast is still doing an admirable job considering the material half the time. The best episodes are the ones that feature other DC Comics characters. I hope that this will be the last season (and a move to Friday night seems to suggest that, but this is The CW and not one of the other networks so all bets are off), but Tom Welling is apparently signed to a 10th Season as well. I say, let Season 9 go to 26 episodes. That would make 200 episodes total. Then put Superman back where he belongs: on the big screen.

9pm AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL (Encore) -- We need more of this?

MIDSEASON

Parental Discreation Advised -- A girl who has lived with foster families all her life finally finds her real parents and tries to make them a family.

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

Easy Money -- 1 Season/8 Episodes/4 Unaired

In Harm's Way -- 1 Season/10 Episodes/5 Unaired

Valentine -- 1 Season/8 Episodes./4 Unaired

The Game -- 3 Seasons/64 Episodes

Everybody Hates Chris -- 4 Seasons/88 Episodes

Reaper -- 2 Seasons/31 Episodes -- The first season of this show was a lot of fun. Most of that was due to Ray Wise as Satan. The second season was missing something, but it was still mostly fun. The series finale is next week and I hope it wraps up as much as it can...but I'm sure it won't. If you didn't see this, I do recommend catching it on DVD as both seasons will be available soon after the show's run ends.

That's all for the major networks. I'll be back tomorrow or Saturday with a wrap-up of what I'll be watching.

Be seeing you.

2009-2010 Upfronts Part 4: CBS

Beyond "Criminal Minds" not much has won me over on CBS since my boycott years ago (you can look for the story elsewhere in my blog). It was a good excuse to prune my TV viewing and I still look for those excuses (in attempts to not watch new shows). So I don't really have much to say about most of these shows on CBS as I don't watch most of them. I'll try not to get too snarky.

MONDAY

8pm HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

8:30 ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE -- Jenna Elfman stars as a single woman who finds herself "accidentally" pregnant. I'm sure it'll fit in with the rest of the network's comedies.

9pm TWO AND A HALF MEN -- I think they're going to try and break "According To Jim's" record for longest running mediocre comedy that you eventually forget is even on.

9:30 THE BIG BANG THEORY

10pm CSI: MIAMI-- Still on the air if only so Joel McHale can keep making fun of it on "The Soup"

TUESDAY

8pm NCIS -- What does this stand for anyway? No Carpet Is Stained? No CBS Is Stagnant?

9pm NCIS: LOS ANGELES -- A Spin-off that airs right after the original? And its not "CSI" based? Chris O'Donnell & LL Cool J star.

10pm THE GOOD WIFE -- Its a law drama mixed with a family drama as Julianna Margulies stars as a woman who goes back to her original job as a defense attourney after her husband (Chris Noth) is thrown in jail for a sex/political scandal. Christine Baranski also stars as a lawyer/mentor for Margulies. Hmmmm...may give it a shot.

WEDNESDAY

8pm THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE-- I'm still waiting for "The Old Adventures of New Christine"

8:30 GARY UNMARRIED

9pm CRIMINAL MINDS-- Sure I broke my CBS boycott because Mandy Patinkin was returning to TV, but I stuck around because even without him the show is still well written and well acted. And now we've got Joe Montegna which may be even better.

10pm CSI: NY-- Of the three shows in this "franchise", this is the one I really liked...but I was watching them on DVD and eventually had to prune the silly stuff from the collection (a work in progress). I do miss this on occassion, but not enough to go back.

THURSDAY

8pm SURVIVOR

9pm CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION

10pm THE MENTALIST

FRIDAY

8pm GHOST WHISPERER -- If you didn't think this was a rip-off of NBC's "Medium" you might now that that...

9pm MEDIUM -- has moved to CBS

10pm NUMB3RS

SATURDAY

8pm CRIMETIME SATURDAY

10pm 48 HOURS MYSTERY

SUNDAY

7pm 60 MINUTES

8pm THE AMAZING RACE -- Is it really that Amazing?

9pm THREE RIVERS --A medical show. How original.

10pm COLD CASE

MIDSEASON

Arranged Marriage -- Because we haven't seen enough humiliation during all the other "reality" shows on TV.

Undercover Boss -- A show where high level executives (you know...the guys who caused our economy to collapse) take a "pay cut" to find out what its really like to work in their companies. Now only if the bozos had done this years ago we wouldn't be in the mess they made.

The Bridge -- A cop show. Haven't seen one of these in a while. Especially on CBS' schedule.

Miami Trauma -- I'm pretty sure this is where the injured of "CSI: Miami" are gonna wind up. I know its where Caruso goes when he jabs himself in the eye with his sunglasses.

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

Eleventh Hour -- 1 Season/18 Episodes -- Meant to watch this as I like Rufus Sewell. Oh well.

The Ex-List -- 1 Season/13 Episodes/9 Unaired

Game Show In My Head -- 1 Season/1 Episode -- Guess it should have stayed in his head (whoever "he" is)

Harper's Island -- 1 Season/13 Episodes -- I liked the concept but apparently not enough to bother watching after it got terrible reviews.

The Unit -- 4 Seasons/69 Episodes -- Maybe Dennis Haysbert can get a job in Season 8 of "24" as a David Palmer clone or twin or maybe the real one isn't really dead.

Without A Trace -- 7 Seasons/160 Episodes -- And now it will live up to its title...wait...if both Eric Close & Dennis Haysbert are out of work...maybe CBS can finally bring back "Now And Again" especially since Glenn Gordon Carron is now working for them again since "Medium" has changed networks (I know that isn't how any of this works, but I can still have dreams, no?)

Worst Week -- 1 Season/15 Episodes

Tomorrow brings the end of the Network Upfronts with The CW.

Be seeing you.

2009-2010 Upfronts Part 3: NBC

Yesterday NBC also announced their new fall schedule. I'm tackling my thoughts today.

MONDAY
8pm Heroes (September) -- I stopped watching mid-way through this past season. Not sure if I'm going to continue with a 4th season...we'll see if I catch up with the episodes during the summer. This show really went off the track.

8pm Chuck (January) -- Glad this got a renewal. Even if its only 13 episodes and will be subsidized by Subway (meaning I expect Sarah to no longer be working at the Frogurt place -- assuming she doesn't get axed because of budget cuts on the show -- but I assume we'll lose all the Buy More characters before that happens).

9pm Trauma (September) -- Sounds like "ER" without the budget or baggage. Blah.

9pm Day One (January) -- Sounds like CBS' late lamented "Jericho" with more destruction and rebuilding. Maybe I'll give it an episode.

10pm The Jay Leno Show -- This is either going to be smartest thing NBC has done in years or the dumbest. Either way, it's gonna cost them less than what a scripted show would.

TUESDAY
8pm The Biggest Loser (two-hour edition in September/90 minute edition in January) -- I really should try to get on this show next time they have auditions.

9:30 100 Questions (January) -- This sitcom focuses on a woman who joins a dating service and each question in their questionnaire will serve as a look back on where she's been in romance before. At least that's what I got from the description. Yawn.

10pm The Jay Leno Show

WEDNESDAY
8pm Parenthood (September) -- Based on the hit movie of 20 years ago, this already spawned a failed TV series. This reimagining (they're no longer the Buckmans, they're the Bravermans) has nothing going for it beyond an interesting cast that doesn't interest me enough to watch (Craig T. Nelson, Maura Tierney, Bonnie Bedlia).

8pm Mercy (January) -- So NBC needs two medical shows to replace "ER"? Yawn.

9pm Law & Order: Special Victims Unit -- Its the one I don't watch, but its still kicking around for an 11th Season.

10pm The Jay Leno Show

THURSDAY
8pm SNL Weekend Update Thursday (multi-episode run in September) -- Nice to know they're ready for Prime Time after all these years.

8pm Community (January) -- Joel McHale and Chevy Chase star in this sitcom about a Community College. McHale gets me watching. Chase makes me a bit leery, but after his wonderful turn on "Chuck" as an evil Bill Gates he may do well here.

8:30 Parks and Recreation -- Didn't watch it. Returns for a 2nd Season.

9pm The Office -- Returns for a 6th Season and I still don't watch because I thought the British version was better.

9:30 Community (September)

9:30 30 Rock (January) -- Funniest sitcom around returns for a 4th Season. YAY!!!!

10pm The Jay Leno Show

FRIDAY
8pm Law & Order -- Its the Energizer Bunny of TV shows. 20 Seasons and it keeps going and going and going and going...

9pm Southland -- Returns for a 2nd Season. Don't watch, don't care.

10pm The Jay Leno Show

SATURDAY
8pm Dateline NBC -- Yay! More news shows. (Sarcasm)

9pm Trauma (encore broadcast September)

9pm Southland (encore broadcast January)

10pm Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (encore broadcast)

SUNDAY (September)
7pm Football Night in America

8:20 NBC Sunday Night Football

SUNDAY (January)

7pm Dateline NBC
8pm The Marriage Ref -- Sure the title sounds like a bad sitcom, but its actually a show that mixes "The View" and "Real Time With Bill Mahr" with "Oprah" and "Seinfeld" (since Jerry's the producer of this). Could be interesting.
9pm The Celebrity Apprentice (season premiere; two-hour edition) -- While its the funniest train wreck on TV, two hours is WAY TOO MUCH (and don't get me started on the THREE HOUR Season Finale this year).

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

My Name Is Earl -- 4 Seasons/96 Episodes -- I stopped watching after Season 3. The show just got boring by that point.

Medium -- 5 Seasons/95 Episodes -- The show kind of petered out for me during Season 3. I figured I'd eventually catch up, but that hasn't happened. I do like Glenn Gordon Carron's shows and may eventually come back to it -- epspecially since its now moving to CBS on Friday nights. Let's see what that brings (more tomorrow).

Howie Do It -- 1 Season/21 Episodes -- Howie Mandel does his own "Candid Camera"/prank show. Didn't realize it even lasted as long as it did.

Deal Or No Deal -- 4 Seasons/203 Episodes -- Don't worry. Only the Prime Time version is going away. You can still catch the goofiness in daytime syndication.

America's Toughest Jobs -- 1 Season/9 Episodes -- I'd say one of the toughest jobs was keeping this show on the air, but there are shows that didn't even last this long.

Chopping Block -- 1 Season/3 Episodes -- Too many Chef-based Reality Shows spoil "The Soup".

Crusoe -- 1 Season/13 Episodes -- Had he been time travelling on his island, he may have lasted longer.

Kath & Kim -- 1 Season/17 Episodes -- Just proves my point that Molly Shannon isn't funny.

Kings -- 1 Season/12 Episodes (7 Unaired) -- Saw the one episode my friend was in as an extra. The rest are waiting to be watched on my DVR (along with many other shows including the last 4 episodes of "Raines" -- which will tell you how long I sometimes keep things on my DVR).

Knight Rider -- 1 Season/17 Episodes -- I was never a big fan of the original version. Now I can never get a chance to not become one of this version either.

Life -- 2 Seasons/32 Episodes -- They should have picked a better title or a better board game to be based on (like "Clue" or "Monopoly" or even "Sorry").

Lipstick Jungle -- 2 Seasons/20 Episodes -- Apparently only "Sex in the City" can be "Sex in the City".

Momma's Boys -- 1 Season/6 Episodes -- Looked like it could have been a fun train wreck, but I was busy doing other stuff.

My Own Worst Enemy -- 1 Season/9 Episodes -- Meant to watch this show -- and I still can as its one of the few cancelled shows turning up on DVD.

Superstars of Dance -- 1 Season/5 Episodes -- Apparently they weren't that super.

ER -- 15 Seasons/331 Episodes -- 15 years ago I made my choice and went with "Chicago Hope" as MY medical drama. Never regretted it, haven't looked back, haven't peeked in. Was this show any good?

Back tomorrow with CBS (should be short as they haven't really recovered on my schedule from my boycott years ago).

Be seeing you.

2009-2010 Upfronts Part 2: ABC

Today we take a look at ABC's new fall lineup:

MONDAY
8pm Dancing with the Stars (two-hours in September)-- Hmmm...still don't care.

8pm The Bachelor (two hours in January) -- Why do we still need this?

10pm Castle -- I like Nathan Fillion. The show's been sitting on my DVR. Hope to get to it this summer. We'll go from there.

TUESDAY

8pm Shark Tank -- From the creators of "Survivor" comes this show that sounds like "The Apprentice" but with fewer contestants and more Donald Trumps. Oh...and the contestants aren't celebrities...so we're back to the earlier seasons with "real" people. Yawn.

9pm Dancing with the Stars the Results Show (September)

9pm Better off Ted (January) -- I really like this weird funny comedy from the creators of "Andy Richter Controls The Universe" and am glad to have it back. Look for a DVD/Blu Ray release this summer to catch up on what you may have missed.

9:30 Scrubs (January) -- Returns for a 9th Season. Why? With both Zach Braff & Sarah Chalke turning up as guest stars for about 6 episodes and a few other cast members not signed yet (Judy Reyes & Neil Flynn who is in a new show anyway), this show's gonna have to pull itself off life support pretty quickly. Don't know if I'll keep watching at this point.

10pm The Forgotten--Jerry Bruckheimer brings us a cop show that doesn't contain the letters "c," "s," or "i" in it. These cops try to identify victims of crimes so they don't become "forgotten". I'll pass.

WEDNESDAY
8pm Hank -- Kelsey Grammar stars as a titan of industry to suddenly finds himself out of work. Could be funny simply because of Grammar.

8:30 The Middle -- Patricia Heaton returns to TV (still paired with Kelsey Grammar in an odd way) as a mother of three in middle America. Sounds like "Roseanne". Neil Flynn (Janitor from "Scrubs") also stars, so I expect he's no longer part of that show either.

9pm Modern Family-- Ed O'Neil also returns to TV in this mockumentary about a family.

9:30 Cougar Town -- And Courtney Cox returns to TV as well as a divorced single mom getting back into the dating scene. Okay...never a big Courtney Cox fan, but since ABC's already got my attention with the other sitcoms, I'll give it a shot.

10pm Eastwick -- First it was a book, then a movie, then a musical and then a TV pilot. Now its back again as an actual TV series and aside from Rebecca Romaijn, the cast does nothing for me. I don't know that Paul Gross can step into the shoes of Daryl Van Horne as worn by Jack Nicholson (movie), Ian McShane (musical) and Jason O'Mara (failed TV pilot). But it'll get a shot from me...mainly because I do like the material and have tired of "Desperate Housewives"

THURSDAY
8pm Flash Forward -- A mysterious event causes a world-wide blackout and gives everyone a glimpse into their future. How does humanity cope? We'll see. There's enough creative talent involved behind the camera and in front for me to take a peek.

9pm Grey's Anatomy -- Returns for a 6th season. Still don't watch

10pm Private Practice-- Returns for a 3rd Season. Is Tim Daly still wasting time doing this show?

FRIDAY
8pm Supernanny -- A 5th Season? Really?

9pm Ugly Betty -- Returns for what will be its 4th and most likely last season. Fridays at 9pm? Does that show any confidence in the show anymore? I still like it for the most part.

10pm 20/20 -- Returns for its billionth season because we can't have enough news stories in this age of tweeting where this show is a dinosaur.

SATURDAY
8pm Saturday Night College Football -- anyone remember when there was actual scripted programming on Saturday nights? "Love Boat?" "Fantasy Island?" "Golden Girls?" Ah...those were the days.

SUNDAY
7pm America's Funniest Home Videos -- no matter how often you see it there's something funny and kids and animals falling down and men getting hit in the nuts (as long as its not me)

8pm Extreme Makeover: Home Edition -- Is there any other edition still around?

9pm Desperate Housewives -- If it weren't for the Scavos and Carols and Mrs. McClusky, I'd have left this show a long time ago. I may ditch it soon after the 6th Season starts if Orson doesn't kill Bree and get away with it.

10pm Brothers & Sisters -- Don't watch it, don't care. 4th Season? Really?

MIDSEASON

Deep End -- A law show with Clancy Brown, Billy Zane and Norbert Leo Butz. Those few cast members alone get me to watch an episode.

Happy Town -- The description is vague and it sounds like "Twin Peaks" with Sam Neill. I'll check it out, but it better be damn good to get me past one episode.

V -- Everyone's favorite Man Eating Lizard Aliens return in this "rethink." And since Elizabeth Mitchell (Juliet on "Lost") is a lead, we can assume she didn't survive the end of the season on her other show. Also stars Scott Wolf and Monica Baccarin (from "Firefly") as Anna who I believe is this version's Diana. I'll watch because its "V". Let's hope its more "V: The Original Mini-Series" and less "V: The TV Series." I would feel better if Kenneth Johnson were still involved or they were using J. Michael Straczynski's script from a few years ago, but at least we've got new "V".

True Beauty -- Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher do make overs for a 2nd Season.

Lost -- Coming into its 6th and final season, I'm only watching because I've invested so much time and energy and need to see it through...but its gotten a bit silly and ridiculous with all the headache inducing time travel stuff. Where's Doc Brown and his blackboard when you need it (oh...right...JJ Abrams trotted that out on "Fringe" with great effect). So here's my theory: The Island is actually the Garden of Eden and "Jacob" and the other guy (Esau?) are just re-enacting the whole Cain & Able story with the Oceanic Group, the Dharma Initiative, the Others and us poor viewers caught in the middle.

Wife Swap -- Henny Youngman returns from the dead to host...what? Oh that's not what its about? Is it porn? Or just fodder for "The Soup" at the end of each week?

Surviving Suburbia -- Bob Saget got a new sitcom and no one watched. So why is it back? Oh...maybe just this summer? OK.

Other shows ABC is still considering for Mid-Season are The Law (with Cedric the Entertainer), Married Not Dead, This Little Piggy and Inside the Box

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

Boston Legal -- 5 Seasons/101 Episodes -- The show had some great moments and when it broke the 4th wall it got really bizarre, but it had a good life and I enjoyed its entire run.

Dirty Sexy Money -- 2 Seasons/23 Episodes -- Never saw it.

Eli Stone -- 2 Seasons/26 Episodes -- Here's one of two ABC shows that I will miss. I hope the 2nd Season gets a DVD release because the 1st Season shouldn't be so lonely. Great show, if you missed it you missed something special.

Homeland Security USA -- 1 Season/3 Episodes -- I blinked. What was this about?

In the Motherhood -- 1 Season/6 Episodes -- Even my wife, who usually loves stuff like this, didn't like it.

Life on Mars -- 1 Season/17 Episodes -- This show was great up until the last 10 minutes of the final episode when they gave us a literal definition of the title and made the "mystery" silly and trite. If you didn't see it, catch it on DVD but turn it off after Sam & Annie kiss in the last episode. This way you'll go out on a high and not the low those of who watched on TV had to sit through.

Opportunity Knocks -- 1 Season/3 Episodes -- What was this about?

Pushing Daisies -- 2 Seasons/22 Episodes -- The show I will miss the most...but thankfully the whole series will be on DVD and we've got a 12 issue miniseries coming from DC Comics to continue the story (sort of -- the plot is supposedly Ned & Chuck and the guys versus zombies). And there's still talk of a big screen version (which happened for "Firefly" but we're still waiting for "Veronica Mars").

Samantha Who? -- 2 Seasons/33 Episodes -- Never saw it. Heard it was good.

The Unusuals -- 1 Season/7 Episodes -- Meant to watch it, but was busy with more important things.

Cupid -- 1 Season/7 Episodes -- The 1998 version lasted 1 Season/15 Episodes. Loved that show. Didn't catch this version. Bobby Cannavale is no Jeremy Piven. Sorry.

According to Jim -- 8 Seasons/181 Episodes -- Our long national nightmare is finally over.

Tomorrow I'll be back with NBC's fall lineup (which was announced today, but I had other things to do -- so I'll be a day behind but will have covered everyone by the end of the week).

Be seeing you.

2009-2010 Upfronts Part 1: FOX

I know its been a while since I've written, but life has been very crazy...that story (or stories) are for another time. Today we start tackling the TV Network Upfronts...something I used to do every year, but skipped last year (for a variety of reasons). But this year, we're back and in full force.

Today FOX has announced its new Fall lineup...so here it is (with my comments where they need to be):

MONDAY
8pm HOUSE -- returns for a 6th Season. Still remains a fun show to watch and in this day and age was able to pull a huge surprise off without everyone knowing it beforehand. This will remain on my viewing list.

9:00pm LIE TO ME (September)-- returns for a 2nd Season. I haven't watched all of the 1st Season episodes yet. My wife and I have seen enough that we enjoy it, but its not priority watching.

9pm 24 (January) -- returns for an 8th Season. Set in New York so you can assume that instead of never going to the bathroom during the show, Jack Bauer pees wherever he wants like the rest of the city. The actresses playing Agent Walker & President Taylor are returning as well -- so unless they're now playing other characters we can guess they both survive tonight's season finale.

TUESDAY
8pm SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Performance Show (September) -- I like to call this "I Don't Care If You Can Dance". I know my wife will be watching. I'll be doing something else I'm sure.

8pm AMERICAN IDOL Performance Show (January) -- Nope...don't care about this show either.

9pm PAST LIFE (January) -- This new show is about a team of "investigators" who research people's pasts to see if what is happening to them today is a result of who they were before. Between "Lost" and "Fringe" I don't have anymore brain capacity for shows that are gonna make me want to scream about the confusing issues of pseudo-science. Plus, there's no one in the cast who cries out "Watch Me!"

WEDNESDAY
8pm SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Results Show (September) -- see above.

8pm AMERICAN IDOL Results Show (January) -- see above

9pm GLEE (September) -- The "previews" for this look interesting. I'll give the episode airing this week a shot (and maybe even review it) and we'll go from there.

9pm HUMAN TARGET (January) -- Mark Valley steps into the shoes of Rick Springfield to star as Christopher Chance, a man who impersonates people in danger to save them and solve the crime/mystery. At least that's what the premise has been in all the comics published by DC Comics. Now he's got two sidekicks, but they're played by Chi McBride & Jackie Earle Haley, and the premise sounds a bit muddy (early reviews are basically saying its not "Human Target" from the comics, but "Generic Action Show Premise #5"). The cast and the DC Logo get me watching. Now if the premiere of this show can get Warner Home Video to release the Rick Springfield version on DVD, I'd be happy. We all need the human touch.

THURSDAY
8pm BONES -- returns for a 5th Season (and I believe has also been renewed for a 6th as well). I stopped watching during Season 2. Miss the show, but not enough to pick it up again on a regular basis. Maybe here and there.

9pm FRINGE -- My favorite new show of last season returns for a 2nd round. It took a while to find its footing, but its everything the later years of "The X-Files" wanted to be and seems to know where its going (where it was obvious "The X-Files" didn't). I'm still wondering if FOX & Warner got any complaints about the final shot of the first season ender.

FRIDAY
8pm BROTHERS -- This new sitcom is about an NFL star who goes home again (or learns he can't go home again). The cast (which includes Daryl "Chill" Mitchell and CCH Pounder) sounds interesting, but not enough to make me watch on a Friday night.

8:30 'TIL DEATH -- Returns for a 4th Season...or maybe they're still burning off episodes from the 2nd & 3rd Seasons that have yet to air. Who cares? Not even sure why this show still exists...didn't they get rid of the young couple?

9pm DOLLHOUSE-- Returns for a 2nd Season. I've got all of Season 1 sitting on my DVR. The pilot bored me, but I meant to keep watching. Maybe this summer I will. We'll see how that goes.

SATURDAY
8pm COPS
9pm AMERICA'S MOST WANTED

SUNDAY
7pm THE OT (September -- gets replaced by Animation reruns after Football Season ends) -- An hour should be plenty of time to wrap up a damn football game and not intrude on my holiest day of the week. I just can't function properly when the animation lineup doesn't start on time. Throws my whole week off.

8pm THE SIMPSONS -- Returns for a 21st Season. Wow. Sure there are clunkers here and there, but I still find the show funny.

8:30 THE CLEVELAND SHOW (September)-- This spin-off from "Family Guy" finds Cleveland moving to his hometown in Virginia to start his life over. Expect the usual Seth MacFarlane humor. If you don't like it on his other two shows, don't watch this one. Will switch to 9:30 in January.

8:30 SONS OF TUCSON (January) -- Three brothers (aged 13, 11 & 8) hire a dad to replace their real one when he goes to prison. I guess since Tyler Labine plays the "dad-for-hire" we can assume THE CW has cancelled "Reaper". I'll watch since its sandwiched between other shows I watch (and Labine is funny).

9pm FAMILY GUY -- Returns for an 8th Season.

9:30 AMERICAN DAD -- Returns for a 5th Season. Will switch to 7:30 in January.

KITCHEN NIGHTMARES Will return at some point as well.

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

King of the Hill -- 13 Seasons/253 Episodes -- There may be some more in production and the show may have a little glimmer of life left in it at some point this season...but its run its course and probably should have ended a while ago (how far did Fox Home Video get with the show on DVD? That's probably when it should have ended).

Prison Break -- 4 Seasons/81 Episodes (2 have yet to air but are being released on DVD/Blu Ray as "Prison Break: The Final Break" in August) -- I still believe the show should have ended 5 minutes before the end of Season 2 and you'd have a great show. Stopped watching mid-Season 3 as the show got sillier and sillier.

Sit Down, Shut Up -- 1 Season/5 Episodes -- From the creators of "Arrested Development" this should have been funnier.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -- 2 Seasons/31 Episodes -- Wanted to watch. Meant to watch. May eventually watch on Blu Ray. Good thing I'm not a Neilsen home and my viewing habits don't count for anything.

Do Not Disturb -- 1 Season/6 Episodes (3 Unaired) -- Anyone remember this show? Didn't think so.

Well...that's all for FOX. I'll be back tomorrow with ABC & NBC.

Be seeing you.

I Certainly Picked The Wrong Year To Quit Therapy

I know its been sporadic and uneven when it comes to my "blogging", but let's face it...I have two kids who take up a lot of my time these days...so there's a lot less of everything I used to do...and in most cases I'm getting to be okay with that.

Duncan will be six months old very soon. He's still getting up for middle of the night feedings. He can still be a giant crankapotamus when he wants to be...but he's such a cute kid. I love watching him roll around on the floor (he's gonna start crawling soon...you can just see it in him...he's trying to get to other places and things). And his laugh and smile are so infectious...

Malcolm is having some issues...or maybe we're having some issues with Malcolm. We've known for a while that he has some transitional issues. Abruptly deviating from a routine or plan throws him off. Large groups in small spaces throw him off. When he started pre-school last year, he was in a class of 8 kids with two teachers. He had some issues that the teacher worked with us on to try and alleviate (mostly he would knock over a chair when we came to pick him up in a defiant "You left me here" kind of mode...it was more of a safety issue for the other kids, but we fixed the problem and things went back to normal).

We put him in camp this past summer (at the same place he had school) and there were no problems (we even did it after everyone had left from visiting for Duncan's birth). And after camp ended we had three weeks to get him potty trained to start school again in the fall. We felt he needed structure and consistancy in his day to help work through the transitional issues...so we had signed him up for the 5 day a week program, but he HAD to be potty trained (last year he went 3 days a week and we could have done the same this year because they don't have to be potty trained for that).

We spent the three weeks between camp ending and school starting in "potty training boot camp". We basically just stripped him naked and threw him outside to run around. It took a few days, but he eventually got the concepts of what was happening and what he needed to do. Yet at the same time, he didn't quite get it.

As a father, I don't really know what my expectations were. I'd be an idiot if I thought we'd get him potty trained and that would be that and everything would be perfect. Of course there are going to be accidents (I've spoken to parents who tell me that even at 6 their kids still have accidents), but Malcolm has become problematic when it comes to poop. He tends to do it in the bath or shower (or his pullup that we put him in at night). He was doing well during "boot camp" and then something happened (no idea what -- maybe school) that caused him to hold it until he is somewhere he can relax (shower or bath). Its gotten tiresome doing the cleaning (or having my wife doing the cleaning because when I do it, there's potential of more cleaning as my gag reflex tends to kick in -- luckily when I have it hasn't gotten messier -- and I don't know why that happens to me...I don't have that problem changing diapers).

But beyond that, Malcolm has become a bit more willfull and stubborn about things. When he started school, we would get reports from his new teachers that he needs to listen better, but no real specifics as to what that meant. After a few days, my wife got an e-mail from another mother of a child in Malcolm's class. It was a bit unnerving as she said she knew what was going on with her son and Malcolm, her son was coming home crying and that my wife should call her so they could talk things out. What did that mean? Was that part of Malcolm's "listening problem"?

Turned out that the other mother was getting similar reports from the teachers as her son was a lot like Malcolm. But her son was getting "yelled at" more when the two of them got into one of their "distracting" modes (don't know that these teachers actually yell, but you get the point...maybe heavily reprimanded). We were never told anything beyond Malcolm needing to work on his "listening". Eventually, my wife requested to meet with the teacher. She put it off until after the Jewish holidays and then basically ambushed my wife by having the head of the school in on the meeting with her and her assistant.

But the meeting was productive. Because of his known transitional issues and the thought that he had some sensory issues as well (for example, he doesn't like shirts with cuffs on them), they suggested we get him evaluated by professionals. We had done this the previous year as well, but at that point the people we had gone to on the teacher's suggestion couldn't help us. Well...that's the wrong choice of words, they didn't really see a problem that was worth solving at the time when he was 2...he was 2...he'd either grow out of them or we could move up the ladder to a different group and get re-evaluated. So now that he was 3 and displaying similar and new traits, we opted for re-evaluation.

I took Malcolm to his evaluation. It was interesting. Normally they don't let parents in the room for the testing, but Malcolm refused to go in without me. They told me I could come in as long as I didn't say anything (they impressed upon me that some parents who wind up in on the testing will coach or assist their kids -- I didn't say a word). I saw many good things that didn't surprise me and a few that did (all good -- didn't know or even think that he could pour from a bottle into a cup). But this was all easy stuff -- drawing a straight line, coloring, sharing, etc.

The second test I was not privy for as by then Malcolm was more comfortable with his evaluators. When the second part was done, they let me observe him doing free play and the obstacle course in their gym. The most interesting aspect was when the evaluator put on music. The first bit was just some jungle rhythms. Malcolm pretty much ignored them, which I found odd for a kid that is always singing, dancing and drumming -- he's very musical. The second song was "ABC" by The Jackson Five. As soon as it started he went into a typical Malcolm dance and then ran over to their inflatable ball pit and straddled the ledge and started bouncing to the music. The evaluator must have noticed something because she then put on the soundtrack to Mortal Kombat and repeated a set of instructions she had given him earlier that he didn't even listen to. With the thumping club music in the background, Malcolm did exactly what she said without hesitation. It was kind of amazing. She then put The Jackson Five back on and he did the exact same thing he did before while listening to it.

What does all this mean? I'm not entirely sure. I'm still a bit ovewhelmed by things and trying to process it all. Malcolm seems to have his own soundtrack constatntly playing in his head (like in that episode of Family Guy where Peter had his own incidental music -- "riding on the bus, riding on the bus, riding on the bus"...). And apparently this may be what causes him to not listen or focus when instructed. The Mortal Kombat music apparently drowned it out or negated it in some way.

So we've been recommended to get him auditory therapy as well as occupational therapy. All of which costs money and most of which may not be covered by insurance. And there's been plenty of stress on the money front as investments have gone south due the economy and real estate for my wife has pretty much dried up. I've been slowly and cautiously looking for a job to no avail...and while we're not in dire need of doing completely drastic things yet, that light all the way down at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train...

We were waiting to share the written evaluation with Malcolm's teachers before getting further into things with them, but his teacher is no recommending that we get a "minder" for him while he's in school...which in my book basically amounts to hiring a private teacher for him to keep an eye on him in the class because she can't do her job properly because she's either understaffed, incapabale, doesn't care, has other kids who are more important/less needy or a combination of all three. Maybe this isn't the right place for him anymore...maybe some of this is a legitimate issue and some of it is because he's a three year old.

I don't know...its all new to me and rather overwhelming...toss in everything else and there are days I'm surprised neither my wife nor I have had complete meltdowns. This is partially because we are lucky to have the situatin we are in. There are people who are worse off than we are when it comes to dealing with issues like this...

There was a time when kids with Malcolm's issues would just be given a swift kick in the ass and "everything would be all right" (which pretty much led to the over-medicating of almost every kid in the 1990s as a reverse). Somewhere there's a happy medium. Somewhere there's a real path. I don't know what it is...but we're doing all we can to figure it out and not get completely depressed and despondent about things...

So there we are...a chunk of why I haven't been keeping this updated is now somewhat explained...the rest of it is connected in various ways...it gets harder for me to write about anything the deeper we get...and this is the first time in a long time I've felt up to the task in some manner and not felt like the finished product was utter shit.

Confessions of a Bond Geek

So obviously, we saw Quantum of Solace yesterday on its opening day (haven't missed a Bond movie on opening day since 1983). So we got a sitter and went out.

After the glossy relaunch of the Bond franchise with Casino Royale, I really had no idea what to expect or where they'd go next. While I would have loved to see them start to remake the Fleming novels in the way they did Daniel Craig's first outing, I'm good with where they've taken the character and where they seem to be headed with him.

Picking up almost immediately where we left off, Quantum of Solace hits the ground running and almost never stops. Bond is motivated by revenge for Vesper's betrayal and her death and he is letting nothing get in his way. As he stumbles from one lead to the next (pretty much killing off everyone as he goes), he eventually winds up uncovering a large international cabal that seems to be manipulating the actions of governments (the plot here is a bit convoluted, but not too difficult to figure out if you think about it and a second viewing will clear up everything).

Some of the complaints from about the film are unwarranted and others are unfounded. You can't praise Casino Royale for deviating from the "Bond formula" and refreshing the franchise and then deride this film for not adhering to it (even though it actually does if you dissect it properly). And while there may be too many instances of the "Bourne effect" present in the editing, it actually works well for this film.

This film is the next necessary step in the evolution of Craig's Bond. This "blunt instrument" (as M refers to him), needed to go full force to get back to his center...to find his moment of comfort so he can evolve more into the suave agent we've known and loved. I'm sur ethe next film will continue him on this route (and give us more insight into this new evil organization).

When the producers have need to refresh Bond over the years they always return to Fleming and this film is no exception. Where Casino Royale went back to Fleming's first book it also had the feel of Fleming's On her Majesty's Secret Service. Here, Quantum of Solace takes its title from a Fleming short story and has the feel of the novel You Only Live Twice. Its a fast moving and gritty travelogue that barely gives you time to breathe. Its easily up there with the best of the series (haven't figured out where on my list it will land yet) and I can't wait to see this again and see where they go next (but whatever they do, we need more of Jeffrey Wright's Felix Leiter -- maybe take the "buddy" film and give it a Bondian twist with Bond & Leiter).

Oh...there is one MAJOR complaint I have about the film...I didn't like the theme song "Another Way to Die" by Jack White and Alicia Keyes when I first heard it, but a Bond theme song needs to be heard in context with the opening titles. The titles made me like the song even less. This is easily one of the worst Bond themes ever...luckily, its not quite bottom of the barrel Madonna's "Die Another Day" bad as I think someone could do justice to this song with a good cover version using better orchestration -- Madonna's song is a lost cause). I do miss Daniel Kleinman's title sequences from the Brosnan films though.

Meanwhile, Cartoon Network has premiered a new animated Batman series entitled Batman: The Brave and the Bold. This is a fun series that mixes the humor of the 1960s series with the more fun aspects of the 1990s animated series (and its sister series). Each episode finds the Dark Knight teamed up with another hero of the DC Universe to defeat some villain. The pilot episode starts with Batman & Green Arrow fighting Clock King (in all his silly 1960s costume glory) and then turns to an outer space adventure where Batman and Blue Beetle (the modern Jaime Reyes version with the alien space armor) defending a race of alien blobs from Kanjar Ro. Its silly fun, but worth watching.

I hope to be back sooner rather than later, but life's been geting in the way (mostly in good ways with the boys)...

Be seeing you.

Coming Back With A Vengeance

Hey folks,

I know it's been almost 2 months since my last post, but life got crazy. It does that some times.

Most of my time was spent either dealing with the boys (two is much more work than one) since we have an infant (who gets bigger and crankier every day) and a three year old (who had to go through potty training -- which will get its own blog soon enough). I was also directing a show at a local community theater that turned out to be more work than any of us in the cast and crew ever expected.

So...with that, I'm announcing a series that will start this week and run until its done. I spent seven years doing community theater in the area and now I'm gonna look back on the experience from the beginning. There were highs and lows and lots of crappy middles...but it was definitely a fun seven years. And I'm not saying I'm never gonna do it again, but this is the first time in seven years that I have nothing specific lined up and since this season (2008-2009) has been set in stone I know I've got the rest of it off to just sit back and focus my attentions elsewhere (more on all that when I'm ready).

In the meantime, the new TV season just started and I've been slowly getting back into that swing of things. I know that I never did my annual wrap up of the prior season this year, but I think it's just been that kind of year (didn't do my Top 25/Worst 5 films of the prior year either I don't believe).

Here's just a glimpse of what I plan on watching (or not watching) this season (best laid plans yadda yadda):

SUNDAYS
The Simpsons -- Just started its 20th Season. And its off to a good start. The season premiere was funnier than most episodes of the last few years. There's still some life in this old girl yet.

King of the Hill -- This one falls into the area of "Is that still on?" After 13 seasons, Hank Hill and friends are pretty much still the same. And I'm okay with that.

Family Guy -- Returns for a 7th season of the usual wacky humor.

American Dad -- Returns for a 4th season and the premiere had one of the funniest descriptions of a fart I'd ever heard ("It's like an egg ate garlic and farted in a sulfur pit!").

Desperate Housewives -- Jumping ahead 5 years for the start of the 5th season should energize this show nicely. Glad to see that Dana Delaney's Katherine is still around.

Entoruage -- While the show's still good in its 5th season it is starting to show signs of age.

MONDAYS
Chuck -- LOVED the first season, can't wait to catch up on the 2nd which just started last night.

Heroes -- Not quite sure how I feel about the 3rd season yet. I was one of the few people who didn't seem to hate the 2nd season, so while I'm still interested in where things are headed I'm not as keen on seeing everything that the "fans" want to see.

Boston Legal -- Returning for a 5th and final season, the show has been stripped down to its bare cast (gone are anyone who wasn't pulling weight like Clarence). Its not a bad thing, but it feels like they just extended the show by 13 episodes for other reasons (which they did).

My Own Worst Enemy -- This new show starring Christian Slater as a Jekyll & Hyde type spy/dad sounds interesting...so it'll get a three episode try from me.

Prison Break -- This show should have ended about 5 minutes before the end of Season 2 (they've escaped and they're free and clear)...but it didn't. I stopped watching at the end of that season even though Season 3 sat on our DVR for almost a year before I erased it (and I had plenty of space and didn't need to). Why is this still on?

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -- Had all of Season 1 on the DVR and erased it when I knew it was coming out on DVD. Figured I'd catch up that way. The DVD's out and I still haven't bothered. Maybe someday.

TUESDAYS
House -- Started its 5th Season and its as good as its ever been.

Fringe -- This new show from J.J. Abrams is weird, but fun. It's a bit like The X-Files crossed with The Silence of the Lambs by way of the works of Michael Crichton. Three episodes in and I'm still watching.

Eli Stone -- Looking forward to the new season of this low rated show just to see where they take it.

WEDNESDAYS
Pushing Daisies -- Another show whose 2nd Season I'm really looking forward to.

Criminal Minds -- Started its 4th season with an interesting, yet predictable, resolution to the 3rd Season cliff hanger. I still like the show and the cast.

South Park -- More silliness is on its way.

Bones -- Stopped watching this early last year. Still have most of season 3 spread across a few DVRs. I'm sure we'll eventually catch up...maybe on DVD.

THURSDAYS
Ugly Betty -- Haven't watched the season 3 premiere yet, but looking forward to it.

Smallville -- At the end of last season I was ready to give up on this show. Its been wheel spinning for quite some time. But the 8th Season premiere actually had some new life to it. Maybe its just because they brought back other DC heroes, but we'll see soon enough with the next few episodes.

30 Rock -- Looking forward to the 3rd Season of this very funny show.

Law & Order: Criminal Intent -- I was shocked at where things went last season. We got more stories about the personal lives of the detectives and the Goran/Eames stuff got a clean slate by season's end while the Logan/Wheeler storyline had better get wrapped up before Jeff Goldblum joins the show for its 8th Season when he replaces Chris Noth.

My Name Is Earl -- Gave up on this show late last season. Still have the final 3 episodes on our DVR unwatched. Don't care anymore.

FRIDAYS
Crusoe -- This remake of Robinson Crusoe sounds interesting...just not sure why. We'll give it a shot.

OTHERS
Monk -- Will be returning for the rest of its 7th Season in January. There's nothing really new here, but we keep watching in hopes it'll get interesting again.

Psych -- Also returns in January for the rest of its 3rd season. Great show. We watch this before we watch Monk every week.

Battlestar: Galactica -- Returns at some point for the rest of its 4th and final season. Hopefully I'll have caught up on the 1st half of the 4th season before then.

Doctor Who -- Returns at some point to Sci Fi Channel with a Christmas 2008 special and then three other specials before the Christmas 2009 special. We'll then get a "proper" 5th Season in 2010 with David Tennant and a new team of producers.

The Sarah Jane Adventures -- This fun and family friendly show returns with a new series of episodes at some point in the not too distant future.

Torchwood -- The 3rd series of this Doctor Who spin-off returns for only 5 episodes, but they're connected into one long story. Hopefully there will be more after all that.

Reaper -- This fun show returns for a 2nd season at some point in 2009. The first season arrives on DVD in November.

Scrubs -- Also returns for its 7th and final season, but on a new network (ABC) who will hopefully show the episodes not aired on NBC.

Lost -- Returns in 2009 with new episodes to make my wife roll her eyes into the back of her head.

Law & Order -- Returns in 2009 with new episodes during its 19th season. I'm sure there'll be some more cast changeovers...there always are.

24 -- Returns in November with a TV movie to bridge the gap between seasons 6 & 7 before the next season starts in 2009. Let's hope it gets better.

Medium -- Stopped watching this show during its 2nd season, but have been slowly catching up on DVD (I'm somewhere in season 3 now), but the version starting again on NBC will be its 5th season.

Eureka -- Liked this a lot when it aired during its 1st season, but it got lost in the shuffle at some point. Just finished its 3rd season. I'm sure we'll catch up at some point.

The Brave and the Bold -- This new DC Comics based super hero team up show features Batman and other DC Heroes fighting various villains. The promos make the show look like a lot of fun. I think it starts in November.

That's all for today. I should be back again before the week is out with the first installment of what we'll call "Community Theater Confidential" for right now.

Be seeing you.

Behind The Eight Ball

I know I keep trying to get back to this on a regular basis...but honestly, between potty training a three-year-old, dealing with the constant bodily fluids of a two-month-old, rehearsals for a show and "normal" daily life, I don't have much energy at the end of the day for writing. But I'll keep plodding along as best I can when I feel like I can.

My wife and I are fortunate enough to have very flexible work schedules and a set of parents (mine) who live in town and allow us to go to the movies often enough to be able to see most things we want. Its how we've hit Iron Man, The Dark Knight, Hellboy II: The Golden Army and a few others. We were going to try and hit The X-Files: I Want To Believe on opening day, but things got crazy and we had to change plans (the bad reviews and my wife not being too into going didn't help matters),

But we have seen two other films recently...

Those that know me well, know I enjoy bad movie musicals. Yes...I own DVDs of Xanadu, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and Can't Stop The Music. Well...we can now add Mamma Mia! to that list. I've never seen the stage version, but I can see how in a theater with the events happening live the show could be infectious and get you dancing in the aisles by the end. The movie not so much.

The basic story is about a girl who is getting married and decides she wants to know more about her unknown father. She figures out that its one of three men that her mother dated many years ago and invites all of them to the wedding. Mom is unhappy to see them and mayhem ensues. As the story progresses various songs by the 70s pop group ABBA are shoe horned in to advance the story (or stop it in its tracks).

Setting aside the aspect of "time" as a major complaint (if Donna, the mother played by Meryl Streep, got pregnant during the age of "flower power" as stated in the film's dialogue then her daughter Sophie should be at least 10 years older than she is in the film if that takes place during the internet age), the film is a complete mess. Speaking on a technical level it has no finess and seems to have been directed (and edited and shot) by someone who had never seen a movie before. Shots don't make sense between cuts or transitions. You can easily tell when the actors are on location and when they're in the studio.

The cast is just odd. While most of them handle themselves just fine, hearing Pierce Brosnan warble his way LOUDLY through "S.O.S." makes one long for the big musicals of the 1950s where Marni Nixon could dub Audrey Hepburn's singing voice and no one could tell the difference. Half the time the songs seem to exist just so one could say "Hey, doesn't Colin Furth do a good version of "Our Last Summer?" or "Wow, Christine Baranski really fits the lyrics of "Does Your Mother Know!"

Mamma Mia! is goofy fun that will have the songs of ABBA rattling around your head for a while. That's not entirely a bad thing, but there are better ways to get the songs in your head.

I honestly had no expectations for Pineapple Express. Really. I barely had any idea what it was about beyond it being a film about two stoners caught up in a mob war. To me that could easily be a modern day Cheech & Chong film. And that wouldn't be a bad thing.

Unfortunately, either I've become too old to enjoy those types of films or Pineapple Express was so far removed from what I thought it was that I couldn't "get it". Seth Rogan and James Franco star as a process server and his pot dealer. When Rogan witnesses a murder on the job and leaves behind the joint he was smoking, the killers (a drug kingpin and his payroll cop and bodyguards) are able to track him down when he runs to Franco for help in his paranoid delusion.

The film tries to walk a line between being a comedy about two very high guys who don't quite understand the situation and may actually be so paranoid that they may be over thinking what's really going on and an action film about two guys caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. The blend isn't very successful. As the film progresses, the action film takes over more and more and gets so silly it stops being funny (Rogan gets his ear blown off, another guy gets shot so many times and survives).

I wanted to like the film as I like the cast. Rogan and Franco are pretty good playing their parts. Gary Cole is in "bad guy" mode (he seems to have three modes: bad guy, actor and comedian) so you know what you get there. Rosie Perez isn't too annoying. Ed Begley, Jr. and Nora Dunn are wasted (no pun intended) as the parents of Rogan's high school senior girlfriend (a plot point that borders on creepy even if the point is to show how his character still hasn't grown up yet).

As for the comedy...well...there's only so many laughs one can get from two stoned people having a conversation and most of those have been mined in previous (and better) films. The only time I laughed out loud could be the point where the film really takes its turn from one type to the other. Franco rescues Rogan from the police by pretending to get hit by the police car carrying Rogan and then stealing it when the cop gets out to investigate. As they're eluding another cop car via a chase, Franco can't see out the windshield because of all the slushie that got poured on it when he was hit. So Rogan suggests he kick the windshield out. Had this been an action film, Franco would have kicked out the glass and kept driving. Here he gets his foot caught in the glass and winds up driving around with his foot sticking out the middle of the windsheild. Its the only funny moment in an otherwise unfunny film.

Or maybe I'm just turning into the cranky old guy who wants those damn kids to get off his lawn.

Be seeing you.

Gotham City Brings A Smile To My Face

When the reboot of the Batman franchise happened three years ago with Batman Begins, the wisely stayed away from what are traditionally Batman's "A-List" villains. But the weird combo of Ra's Al Ghul, Scarecrow and Carmine Falcone worked well to get the ball rolling. Of course, you knew that a sequel was inevitable and that they'd be rolling out the "A-List" at that point. And what an amazing ride this one is.

The Dark Knight picks up pretty much where we left off. Gotham's still a city that's falling apart. Scarecrow's still on the loose and the mobsters are still running things -- sort of. You see Batman has provided a bit of hope and inspiration. Sure there are idiots now running around dressed as Batman trying to do what he does and doing it wrong, but the mob and the street criminals have gotten a bit more careful.

Into this scenario comes two new people -- Harvey Dent and the Joker. Dent (Aaron Eckhardt) is a force of good, Gotham's upright District Attorney is looking to Lieutenant Gordon and Batman for help in finally ridding the city of crime. The Joker (Heath Ledger) is nothing more than a force of chaos (as he puts it) that has decided that Gotham needs "a better class of criminal." He masterfully pits everyone against each other and by the time half of his plans have played out everyone has been compromised.

One would think that with a cast of characters as large as this one, people would get lost in the shuffle. But that is barely the case. Almost everyone has the right amount of screen time in this massive story that ultimately winds up being Harvey Dent's. Alfred, Lucius Fox and Rachel Dawes (now played better by Maggie Gyllenhall) all return from the previous film. Toss in a few corrupt cops under Gordon, the Mayor, a Wayne Enterprises employee who figures of Batman's secret, a news reporter and a bunch of new mobsters and the film is packed with interesting and well cast characters. Only Scarecrow gets the truly short end of the stick (making one wonder why he's even there).

The story plays out in a similar manner to what I believe is one of the greatest Batman comic book stories ever done, Batman: The Long Halloween, which was also about the changeover in Gotham's criminal element from mobsters to insane freaks and featured the good guy trio of Batman Gordon and Dent until Dent's downfall (an issue I'm skirting for anyone reading who doesn't know what happens to him because it is truely tragic).

The acting is all spot on. Christian Bale holds his own in a film that is so obviously not so much about Batman as it is about his city and these other two men who inhabit it. Aaron Eckhardt's performance as Harvey Dent is spot on perfect from the comics and all the talk of Ledger getting an Oscar for his Joker diminishes Eckhardt's work a bit as he too deserves one in my book. And the Oscar talk for Ledger isn't unfounded. Legder's performance is a weirdly, wonderful and psychotic one that blows any previous interpretation of the character out of the water. Taking their cues from older stories where the Joker just existed without a backstory and mixing it with the idea that either he doesn't know his or tells it wrong every time, the writers have given Ledger a clean slate with which he has created a villainous force to be reckoned with (and his untimely passing leaves everyone in a quandry as the Joker NEEDS to return, but how do you do that for a third film? Do you recast? With whom?).

The Dark Knight is easily the best Batman film made yet. It's probably also the best comic book movie made yet (and this in a summer of really good ones so far with Iron Man and Hellboy II: The Golden Army). This sequel does everything one is supposed to do, take the characters in a different direction while staying true to them and not repeating anything (and this so rarely happens its not even funny -- most sequels tend to be more of "lather, rinse, repeat" variety). The question is where do they go from here?

Meanwhile, just released on DVD as a tie-in is Batman: Gotham Knight. This is part of a new line of direct-to-DVD movies that Warner & DC Comics have been doing. And so far it is the least successful. Taking its cues from Batman Begins, this film is actually six short "stories" that explore Batman and his image in the world. Each is done by a different Japanese animator in a different style which is a nice twist, but each is pretty much undone by the writing. The best of the segments is the last one featuring a nice re-interpretation of the classic Batman/ DC villain Deadshot (maybe he can make an appearnce like this in the next film), but by the time you've reached this last segment you're already wasted an hour (even an appearance by Killer Croc and Scarecrow in the same segment doesn't work). The animation varies from very smooth to "what the heck am I watching" (which is mostly the first segment). Kevin Conroy who voiced Batman in the Animated Series returns to voice him again. Its another plus. Only recommended for die-hard Batman fans or anime fans.

I know I still need to get my Hellboy II: The Golden Army review up (it got away from me), so you should be seeing that in a day or two. Until then...

Be seeing you.

Playing Catch Up Yet Again: It's My New Mantra

My wife and I used to have a Netflix membership that we enjoyed, but eventually there came a time where we were sitting on the movies for far too long before watching them. This would happen for a variety of reasons, so we eventually cancelled our membership. These days if we have the time to watch something, we hit our cable's pay-per-view...its just easier. So we've been able to catch up on a few things we missed here and there (especially this summer as there's little on TV). So here are some reviews of films we caught there as well as something currently in theaters and a TV review or two.

The Bucket List -- Didn't realize this was directed by Rob Reiner, but this funny and heart-warming story about two men diagnosed with terminal cancer is worth a watch. Jack Nicholson continues to play Jack Nicholson perfectly and Morgan Freeman does an amazing job as the other guy. The end brought a few tears to my eyes.

Wall*E -- Has Pixar made a bad movie yet? Sure, some are better than others, but there has yet to be a dud in the bunch. This film continues the streak. Very funny, touching and heart-warming (that's the second time I've used that word in this one -- maybe its the hormones from my wife talking).

The Jane Austin Book Club -- My wife is a HUGE Jane Austin fan. Up until I met Tash, I didn't know much about her. This film is about a group of women (and one guy) who meet monthly to discuss each of the novels (one a month). But its about more than that as each woman can relate their lives to each of the novels. The film got me to think about reading a piece of "literature" again, so it can't be all bad.

I Survived A Japanese Game Show -- Yes, the summer doldrums have hit TV and I'm watching crap like this. Its got a bit more meat than watching guys get hit in the balls on America's Funniest Home Video at least.

Wipeout -- Okay...so this show is just an hour of guys getting hit in the balls (well...an obstacle course equivalent as people fall off things or get knocked off things). It makes me laugh to see other in such pain these days. I know...I'm sick.

Doctor Who Season 4 -- With one or two episode exceptions, this may be the best season yet. At first I thought bringing back Donna Noble (Catherine Tate) from the 2006 Christmas Special "The Runaway Bride" as a permanent companion was going to be bad. In that episode she was little more than a shrew and comic relief. She starts out that way in the first episode of Season 4, but by the time we get towards the end she's become my favorite companion. The two part season finale really closes the door on everything that's happened in the previous four seasons (whether you wanted it to or not). And while we get a who's who of the Doctor's friends, the outcome of the longest running threads involving Rose Tyler don't mean much. Its Donna's fate that will have you screaming at the TV (she doesn't die, but she may as well have). The season ends with the Doctor alone again -- really and truly alone. Which puts him in a great place for the series of 5 specials between Christmas 2008 and Christmas 2009 before we get a full and proper Season 5 in 2010.

That's it for today. Next time: Hellboy.

Be seeing you.

Would You Believe That Get Smart is The Best Film Ever Made?

I've been a fan of Get Smart ever since I was a kid watching reruns on New York's WPIX Channel 11. It was a funny show then and still remains a funny show now (one of the few classics I watched as a kid that I still laugh at time and time again -- unlike Gilligan's Island or The Brady Bunch which I also watched as a kid).

The premise was a James Bond spoof about a bumbling American spy who worked for a secret organization known as CONTROL. Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 (Don Addams), would stumble in and out of situations and inevitably save the day by accident. Most times he was helped by Agent 99 (Barbara Feldon) while he exasperated his Chief (Edward Platt) in his fights against the forces of KAOS. The best episodes were the ones that featured Siegfried (Bernie Kopell) as the KAOS frontman (he always had a superior we never saw). The show aired for five seasons (four on NBC and one on CBS).

The original series is currently available on DVD only from Time Life and only as a full series set with oodles of extras. This is the right way for any TV series to appear on DVD -- full series first and then break it up into seasons because the other way is just becoming obnoxious at this point. The first season will be available in retail stores at the end of August.

The original series gave way to a few revival attempts and remakes. The Nude Bomb in 1980 featured Don Addams as Maxwell Smart and Robert Karvelas as the even more bumbling Larrabee, but little else from the original series remained. While Max had to fight the forces of KAOS again, he was now doing it working for an organization known as PITS. The film was just released on DVD in widescreen and this was probably the first time I had seen it in over a decade. While funnier than I remembered it being, it was still an odd and pale shadow of the TV series.

In 1989, a TV Movie aired on ABC entitled Get Smart Again. This time everyone from the original show was reunited (except for Edward Platt who had died in the 1970s) and the laughs came as fast and as furious as they had during the 1960s TV series. This movie is available on DVD in bargain bins if you can find a copy.


The success of this TV movie led to another attempt at a relaunch, this time on FOX (making Get Smart the first and only show to have aired on every major network at some point). While both Don Addams and Barbara Feldon returned as Max and 99, the show's focus was mostly on their son bumbling Zack (Andy Dick -- before he was really Andy Dick) and his much smarter partner Agent 66 (Elaine Hendrix). The show was lacking the spark of the original and only seven episodes were made. The show is now available on DVD (mostly to piggy back on the new big screen remake) and there's only one episode that even comes close to the original series in quality: the sixth episode features a return by Bernie Kopell as Siegfried and gives Don Addams more screen time as the two old "enemies" continue their battle from years ago. Its a fleeting glimpse at what the original series was and shows what the new series could have been.

Which brings us to the big screen remake starring Steve Carrell. Honestly, I was unsure of what they could do with this series to make it fresh for the movies. The Addams Family kept it fresh by staying close to the original material. The Brady Bunch kept it fresh by staying close to the original look and feel and modernizing everything around the family. So how does one take a 1960s spy spoof and modernize it and make it relevant to today's audiences while staying true to the material? Exactly how these guys have done it.

Max (Carrell) still works for CONTROL, but now he's an analyst who dreams of becoming a field agent. The Chief (Alan Arkin) wants Max to remain an analyst because he's the best there is, but when CONTROL is infiltrated by a KAOS spy and the covers of all their secret agents become compromised, Max is teamed with 99 (Anne Hathaway) to get to the bottom of KAOS ultimate goal.

Almost every major character from the original series gets remade and updated in the right way. We get appearances by Larrabee (David Koechner -- now more of a stupid bully towards Max, but it works), Agent 13 (Bill Murray in a pointless cameo), Hymie the Robot (Patrick Warburton in the most perfect bit of casting who doesn't get nearly enough screen time), Siegfried (Terrence Stamp in the biggest mistsep in this film as this Siegfried would be more at home fighting Jason Bourne or Jack Ryan -- Stamp is so out of place as Siegfried he seems like a villain from a more serious film and its made all the more apparent once Bernie Kopell puts in a cameo) and Shtarker (Ken Davitian). The weapons inventor from the original series, Professor Carlton, has been replaced by Bruce and Lloyd (Masi Oka and Nate Torrence) with great effect.

The film moves at a brisk pace and the humor comes more from the characters and situations as opposed to being slapstick for slapstick's stake. There's stuff that will feel familiar from plenty of more recent films like The Bourne Identity or Patriot Games, we even go back as far as 1979's Bond film Moonraker for a sky diving scene (that's almost an exact remake of the one from that Bond film), but it never feels old, or tired or spoofy. The script treats the main characters with respect and as far as big screen remakes of small screen shows go, this isn't quite as good as The Addams Family or The Brady Bunch but its pretty damn close (and a far cry from Car 54 Where Are You or My Favorite Martian).

This is definitely a comedy worth seeing.

Now, while we saw this film on opening day, it has taken me a few weeks to get around to my review because I wanted to also see the direct to DVD film, Get Smart's Bruce & Lloyd Out of CONTROL, being release in conjunction, but after, Get Smart. If the new Get Smart were Hamlet then this film is Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. Here we see Bruce and Lloyd (still played by Masi Oka and Nate Torrence) as they try and recover some stolen technology during the events of the plot of Get Smart (of course, the two plots have nothing to do with one another, but there are scenes and characters that do dovetail in and out). We get scenes with Hymie (who gets more screen time here than he does in the main film), Agent 91 (Terry Crewes who is pretty much Larrabee's partner in crime in the main film) and Larry Miller (who plays a CIA operative in the main film, but here he's also playing that character's twin brother who is called Under Chief since he's one step below Alan Arkin's character in the chain of command). There's also a funny cameo by Anne Hathaway as 99.

The film works well enough. Its not as funny or as well made as Get Smart, but its still fun (kind of in a "we're hanging around after work to have fun" kind of way). It's got some very funny moments, but they are few and far between. For a direct to DVD release, I've seen a lot worse.

Anyway...that's all for today. I'm trying hard to get back on a schedule with writing so with luck you'll be seeing reviews closer to once a week. I hope to be back with some small catch up reviews in a few days before we tackle the new big summer release we plan on seeing: Hellboy II: The Golden Army and then after that is The Dark Knight (woo hoo!!!!).

Be seeing you.